Whats Right with Your Child Orienting Ourselves to Kids Strengths

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Whats Right with Your Child?Orienting Ourselves
to Kids Strengths

• Ali Zidel Meyers, MSW

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Relax its not that kind of talk.
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Welcome

• Why strengths?
• Excerpt from The Short Bus
• My work
• Parents and educators
• A couple of caveats
• No silver bullets
• Help yourself an a la carte presentation

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6 Questions(There will be a quiz!)

• Questions I will ask you to answer at the end
• (no need to write these down)
• Define strengths or describe the
  strengths-based approach.
• Why does it matter? What implications does
  strengths-based research hold for our kids
  learning?
• What about weakness?
• How can we recognize and nurture our children's
  natural talents, gifts, and abilities?
• Which resources can we tap into for
  strengths-based teaching and parenting?
• What is your homework assignment this week?

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Where is our focus?

• The Strong/Weak Standard
• What did you notice?
• Which came more readily?

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What do you mean by strength?

• By refining our dominant talents with skill and
  knowledge, we create strength.
• Investing in Strengths, Clifton Harter,
  2003

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What is the strengths-based approach?

• A strengths-based approach shifts the focus from
  deficits to abilities, problems to
  possibilities/potential
• Assumptions
• People have individual strengths that enable them
  to cope, progress, grow, succeed.
• Were more strongly motivated to move toward
  things we want, than to move toward things we
  dont want (self-determination).
• Observable from toddlers to teens and beyond
• Examples from your life/people you know?

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Background, Research

• Gallup Organizations research on human
  performance
• Over 30 years
• Over 2 million people (globally)
• The question Could it be that the greatest gains
  in human development are based on investment in
  what people do best naturally?

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Surprise!

• Hypothesis confirmed individuals gain more when
  they build on talents than when they work to
  improve areas of weakness.
• Data revealed two flawed assumptions about
  people
• 1) Each person can learn to be competent at
  almost anything.
• 2) The greatest room for growth is in a persons
  areas of weakness.

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Why it matters

• In education studies, strengths-based training
  for student groups showed
• Reduced tardy and absentee rates
• Increased self-confidence
• Improved state hope/goal-directed thinking
• Higher GPAs

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Why it matters

• Data suggest that devoting the majority of our
  energy to remediation/correction is less
  efficient or effective.
• The most successful teachers, managers,
  employees, and students match talents to tasks
  and focus on strength development.
• The more a strength is exercised, the stronger
  and more integrated it becomes (like using a
  muscle).

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Our culture what we see

• The School Picture Makeover
• How we may be oriented regarding kids strengths
  and weaknesses
• Progress Reports, Standardized test reportswhere
  the eyes gowhere they linger
• Deficiencies vs. Strengths/capacities
• Comparing Kids (peers, siblings).
• We have our concerns. Thats normal. But they can
  cloud our view.

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What about weakness?

• Does a strengths-based approach ignore weakness?
• It may be necessary to ameliorate behavior or
  patterns that produce counter-productive
  outcomes.
• How effective is our heavy emphasis on them?
• Honk! Honk!

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Shifting the Focus

• Hone the focus--toward developing strengths,
  building on talents--while acknowledging,
  understanding, and managing weaknesses.
• Whats wrong with my child whats RIGHT
  with my child?
• Context, balance, perspective

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Orienting ourselves to strengths

• Wear your Talent Antenna
• Strengths Log Tracing Your Talents

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Recognizing strengths

• Reflect on childs intelligences, talents,
  strengthsopportunities to amplify those (online
  inventories, books, think, discuss)
• Pursue opportunities to immerse your child in
  strength-building activities
• Tell the judge to take a hike.
• My kid loves Wii, IM, Dungeons Dragons,
  skateboarding_______ (fill in the blank). Isnt
  THAT nice?
• Robbie the rock collector

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Orienting ourselves to strengths

• Role modeling Do you self-criticize more than
  you celebrate your strengths?
• Watch out for Felt Fishy moments
• Reframe/re-orient your conversations (with self
  or others) to shift the focus toward strengths
  and abilities. Your homework assignment for this
  week
• Whats right with your child?

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Additional Resources

• Multiple Intelligences
• Chock full o nuts handout
• Your ideas?

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6 Questions(Time for a quiz!)

• Define strengths or describe the
  strengths-based approach.
• Why does it matter? What implications does
  strengths-based research hold for our kids
  learning?
• What about weaknesses?
• How can we recognize and nurture our children's
  natural talents, gifts, and abilities?
• Which resources can we tap into for
  strengths-based teaching and parenting?
• What is your homework assignment this week?

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• Four Seasons, Four Sons

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Questions?

• Ali Zidel Meyers, MSW