The Crucible Evaluation and Good Night, and Good Luck assignment

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The Crucible EvaluationandGood Night, and Good
Luckassignment

• Writing comments, improvements
• and suggestions

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Read and follow instructions!

• Some students did not write in complete sentences
  as required
• Some students responded to only part of a prompt
  (especially 8b, 8c, and 9 on Crucible test and 3
  on Good Night, and Good Luck assignment)
• Some wrote about literature in the past tense or
  used first or second person inappropriately

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Disappointments

• Students did not title their essays
• Many students did not have a thesis statement for
  their essays.
• Some students had very weak thesis statements.

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General Writing Requirements for Millers English
IIIA

• this is an advanced English class work should be
  presented using correct grammar and solid writing
  skills
• essays and paragraphs should be titled
• write in third person (never use second unless in
  quotation first is allowable only when noted)
• a paragraph needs a topic sentence an essay
  needs a thesis statement

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General Writing Requirements for Millers English
IIIA continued

• discuss literature in the present tense
• when responding to a prompt regarding literature
  with a paragraph or essay, always introduce the
  author (full name) and titlelater the author may
  be referred to by his last name
• titles of major works (like The Crucible) are
  italicized or underlined (in-class writing)
  minor works are placed in quotations
• avoid absolutesalways, never, etcetera

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General Writing Requirements for Millers English
IIIA continued

• do not write I believe, I think, I feel,
  etceteraif a writer is sharing someone elses
  ideas, parenthetical citation will give credit
  otherwise all statements are considered the
  authors
• dictionary and thesaurus were offeredspell
  correctlyif time is limited and spelling is
  questionable, write sp above the word to clarify
  that the word would have been looked up if time
  permitted

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General Writing Requirements for Millers English
IIIA

• what is written in English class (with very few
  exceptions) is formalavoid contractions,
  symbols, and abbreviations
• write legiblyits wrong if Ms. Miller cant make
  it out
• avoid careless errorsthe title of the play
  should be spelled correctlyits on the test
  ditto for characters names do not call a play a
  novel, etcetera

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Easy Grammatical Fixes

• NEVER place a single comma between a subject and
  its verb
• NEVER place a colon immediately after a be verb
• Many rules of English grammar have exceptions
  these do notmemorize them

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Question 7

• Is The Crucible chiefly concerned with religion,
  morality, history, or justice? Select one and
  defend the selection with two-to-four sentences
  of logical support.

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Question 7 - Student Response

• This student receive 5/5 for the response.
• The main concern of The Crucible is morality and
  the irony of what some people believe to be good
  morals. This is illustrated in the fact that
  people with the best morals are the ones that die
  for it because they refuse to lie after being
  accused. Also, the people who mistakenly have bad
  morals, such as the court, are the ones who
  condemn those with good morals.

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Question 7 Student Response

• What is good?
• Follows instructions
• Provides thoughtful and logical commentary
• What could be improved?
• pronoun issues that should be who and it
  refers to a singular antecedent
• fewer be verbs more action verbs

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The Paragraphs

• The instructions select one of the following and
  discuss in a well-developed (approximately
  seven-to-twelve sentences), MLA formatted, third
  person, present tense paragraph.

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The Paragraphs

• A prompt
• Identify and discuss a major irony in the play.

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Student Example

• In Arthur Millers the Crucible, there are
  several examples of irony throughout the novel.
  Back in the late seventeenth century, people were
  very superstitious and the littlest thing out of
  the ordinary would raise confusion. Salem goes
  into ruins because no one is there to take care
  of anything. While trying to save Salem from
  witches, they ultimately lead to the ruin of
  their village. (continued next slide)

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Student Example continued

• With liveston running amuck, rotting crops lay
  in the fields, and children left uncared for,
  Salem was left in a shadow of its former self.
  What they did to Salem was worse than what they
  were trying to protect it from.
• What is good about this response?
• What about this response needs improvement?

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Student Example Positives

• Some knowledge of history and play is
  demonstrated
• Introduces title and authors full name
• Discusses an irony (although it is never labeled
  as such)

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Student Example Negatives

• Discusses literature in the past tense
• Some questionable word choice
• Comma splice
• Run-on sentence
• there statement
• Ends paragraph with a preposition
• Calls play a novel
• Salem exists today, so the witch trials did not
  cause its ruin
• Lack of clarity (liveston)?

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Student Example

• One major irony in The Crucible reflects on
  Puritan values. A citizen may be openly accused
  of witchcraft with little or no proof. The
  courts have been created in such a way that
  somebody accused of witchcraft is nearly
  automatically sentenced to death. Escaping this
  fate is only possible by confessing to the crime,
  whether or not the perpetrator is guilty.
• (continued on next slide)

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Student Example continued

• This means, for an innocent person, they must
  confess to being a witch/warlock to live. One
  would think the Puritans would wish to persecute
  confessed dealers with Satan, not free them!
  This ironic, religious value defines a crisis in
  The Crucible.
• What is good here?
• What here needs improvement?

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Student Examples Positive

• responds to prompt (discusses an irony)
• follows instructions (7-12 sentences, present
  tense, third person)
• seems knowledgeable about play and time period
  (Puritan community)
• understands irony
• clear and confident voice

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Student Example Negatives

• no introduction of author
• pronoun/antecedent agreement error
• uses one to avoid first/second person
• comma issues
• occasional awkward wording
• Underlining?

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The Paragraphs

• Same instructions select one of the following
  and discuss in a well-developed (approximately
  seven-to-twelve sentences), MLA formatted, third
  person, present tense paragraph.

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The Second Prompt

• Consider the deleted scene, Act 2, Scene 2.
  Discuss how the scene might have changed the play
  and why Miller might have decided to remove it.

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Student Example

• In Aurthor Millers The Crucible, the deleted
  scene, Act 2, Scene 2, is open to interpretation.
  One reason it may have been taken out is the
  difference in the characters emotions. John
  Proctor is seen as almost a bad guy because his
  relationship with Abby is more developed here and
  it shows that
• (continued on next slide)

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Student Example Continued

• John still is leading her on a little and
  showing the relationship still exists. In the
  rest of the play, Proctor looks like he totally
  regrets the relationship and treats Abby
  hatefully, contrasting to this scene.
  Continually, Miller may have decided that he
  didnt want the reader to feel sympithetic to
  Abby because of (continued on next slide)

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Student Example Continued

• Proctors treatment of her. Miller may have
  wanted Abby to look justified in her constant
  struggle to win Proctor over. Finally, it is
  possible that Miller simply didnt like the flow
  of the play with Act 2, Scene 2, included a
  decided to take it out. Millers reasoning to
  vague unknown, but the play runs just smoothly
  without the scene as with.

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Consideration

• What is good here?
• What here needs improvement?

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Student Example Positives

• Introduces play and author (although spelled
  incorrectly)
• Uses present tense
• Utilizes third person
• Title set off appropriately

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Student Example Negatives

• Awkward word choice at times
• spelling
• Misreading of play suggested (Proctor does not
  treat Abby hatefully in Act 1)
• Support needed (example how might the deleted
  scene make Abby look justified or the audience
  gain sympathy
• Proof readingtoo many errors/concerns, even for
  an in-class write
• Sentence structure

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Student Example

• In the play The Crucible, Arthoir spelling
  unclear on student copy Miller origianally had a
  scene in Act 2 in which Proctor confronts Abigail
  on everything she is doing, but Miller later
  excluded that scene from the play. If Miller had
  kept the scene in the play, the viewers would see
  a different side of Abigail and may have a
  different perspective on her than without the
  scene. (continued on next slide)

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Student Example Continued

• In the scene, it becomes more and more obvious
  that there is something wrong with Abigail. She
  goes off on rants about people in Salem and how
  they are all hypocrites, and she still believes
  that John Proctor wants his wife dead so he can
  be with Abigail, even though he tries to tell her
  forcefully that he loves his wife and doesnt
  want Abigail. It becomes clear that Abigail has
• (continued on next slide)

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Student Example Continued

• Something wrong with her through the stage notes
  when it says Proctor begins to see her madness.
  This scene softens Abigails character because it
  shows shes crazy, and viewers may feel sympathy
  toward her. The sympathy for her is not wanted
  because she is the main antagonist in the play.
  Miller might not want that feeling toward her
  because it would soften the whole take of the
  play.

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Student Example

• What here is good?
• What here needs improvement?

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Student Example Positives

• Introduces title and author (possible spelling
  error)
• Seems thoughtful
• Minimal grammatical errors
• Knowledge of play and characters demonstrated
• Responds to prompt
• Shows knowledge of literary devices

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Student Example Negatives

• Spelling
• Word choice (more variety needed)
• Sentence structure occasionally awkward
• there statement
• Seems redundant at times
• Fails to set off title appropriately

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Student ExampleEssay

• This student example has a number of problems
  however, it received a score in the A range.
  In-class essays are graded as drafts, and for
  this write, ideas and content and organization
  weighed more heavily.

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The Instructions

• Respond with a well-developed essay (multiple
  paragraphs) presented in MLA format using third
  person. Literature should be discussed in the
  present tense however, history is discussed in
  the past tense therefore, this paper may shift
  between past and present. Ideas and content and
  organization will be weighed most heavily in the
  evaluation of this essay, but the other traits
  are also important. Students may utilize one page
  of notes (student-created not Internet generated)
  and must turn their notes in with their completed
  essays.

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The Prompt

• The Salem Witch Trials and McCarthyism are
  historical episodes associated with fear-based
  behaviors. Identify a current or recent (1980 or
  later) situation connected with fear-based
  behavior. Compare and contrast the contemporary
  situation to the Salem Witch Trials and/or
  McCarthyism and explore how witch hunts may be
  avoided. Consider how individuals might assure
  they do not fall victim to or lead fear-based
  behaviors and mob mentality.

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Essay

• Fear-based behavior is infectious, crawling
  from one mind to the next until a full-blown
  epidemic sweeps away all rational thought. This
  panic leads to a mob mentality that not only
  dictated the actions of long ago, but even more
  recent events, such as the recent economical
  troubles.
• Initially, the Salem witch trials sound like
  they have nothing in common with the near failure
  of many of Americas banks. While the situation
  in Salem had been life-or-death (continued on
  next slide)

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The Essay continued

• based on mere hear-say, the banks themselves had
  dug themselves into their hole with a severe lack
  of foresights when it came to lending loans. When
  the layers are peeled back, though, both
  reactions, to each situation are not as
  dissimilar as believed. The little village of
  Salem was desparate for a solution when they
  discovered witches were responsible for their
  troubles. In their frenzy, they executed and
  accused left-and right to eradicate their
  problem. Flash (continued on next slide)

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The Essay continued

• forward to the end of 2008. Americas banks were
  suddenly drowning in unpaid foreclosures, and
  threatened to drag Americas economy down with
  it. Politicians had little time to react and even
  less time to assess the situation. The people
  were convinced that the economical equivalent of
  an apocalypse was bearing down, and no one took
  the time to think otherwise. So, they haphazardly
  slapped together a solution (TARPthe Troubled
  (continued on next slide)

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The Essay continued

• Assist Relief Program), much like Salem and its
  witch trials, and sent it out the door. In both
  situations, it backfired terribly. Salem ended up
  killing innocent Christians while TARP money
  intended in revitalizing the economy did not have
  much of a noticeable impact on the economy.
  Indeed, while prohibited from being used as
  excessive bonus money, it instead went to stocks
  that men used in place of bonuses.
• This mob mentality is dangerous, but (continued
  on next slide)

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The Essay continued

• can it be avoided? If people took time to sit
  back and assess the situation, then most problems
  could be avoided. Before forming an opinion, both
  sides of the argument should be taken it to avoid
  jumping to potentially fatal conclusions. People
  shouldnt be swayed by others opinions in the
  heart of the moment, and when telling others
  about the situation, it should be presented as
  more of a suggestion and not hard facts. These
  tips can keep minor blow outs from escalading
  into madness.

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Student Essay

• What is good about the response?
• Responds to entire prompt (historical and
  contemporary examples with suggestions for
  avoiding future incidents)
• Some excellent word choice
• Thoughtful
• Demonstrates knowledge of historic event and
  contemporary situation
• Follows instructions multiple paragraphs, third
  person
• Basically well organized

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Student Essay

• What might be improved?
• Title
• Spelling
• Some word choice
• Better developed introduction or inclusion of
  introduction in first body paragraph
• No contractions
• Correct numerous minor errors and proof
• Correctly identify TARP
• Conclusion which ties in early part of essay

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Possessives v. Plurals

• A possessive shows ownership while a plural shows
  number (multiple).
• Student example The filmmakers of Good Night
  and Good Luck try to shed some light on the
  rarely talked about Red Scare of the 50s.
• What is wrong? Correction?

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Possessive v. Plurals

• Student example The filmmakers purpose is to
  show that fear can lead to injustice or
  irrational thinking.
• Error? Correction?

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Misplacement

• Student example Old broadcasting technology
  sends the movie back in time, along with the
  costumes.
• Problem? Solution?

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Three be verbs in one sentence!

• Student example This scene is specifically
  memorable because it is when he is denied the
  opportunity for a few shows pertaining to
  Mcarthy.
• Improvement? Other error?

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Pronoun/Antecedent Agreement

• Student example If a communist was found, they
  would be demonized by the government and public.
• Error? Correction?

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Pronoun/Antecedent Agreement

• Student example The filmmaker achieved their
  purpose to inform and educate as well as
  entertain its audience.
• Error? Correction? Other?

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Run-on Sentences

• Student example Overall, fear based behavior
  will always be around, it will just keep evolving
  and becoming less dramatic.
• Error? Correction? Other?

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Thesis Statements

• Many essays did not even have thesis statements.
  Those that contained thesis statements often
  presented weak ones.
• Sample thesis Thoughtful consideration and trust
  in self allows avoidance of fear-based behaviors
  seen during the Salem Witch Trials and in
  President Obamas first address to school
  children in 2009.