Half of Faith

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Half of Faith

• Huma Murad

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What is Marriage?

• A religious duty
• A moral safeguard
• A social necessity
• The prophet has said, "Marriage is from my
  tradition and those who do not obey it are not my
  followers. (Ibn Maja)
• The Prophet said, "One who marries has already
  guarded half of his religion, therefore he should
  fear Allah for the other half." (Wasa'il)

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• "And among His signs is this, that He created for
  you mates from among yourselves, that you may
  dwell in peace and tranquility with them, and He
  has put between you affection and mercy. Verily,
  in that are indeed Signs for people who reflect."
  (Rum 3021)

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What is a spouse?

• Partner
• Companion
• Best friend
• The following verse from the Qur'an sums it up
  perfectly "They are your garments and you are
  their garments" (Al Baqarah 2187). 

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Conditions for marriage to be valid

• 1) Consent of both parties.
• The Prophet said "the widow and the divorced
  woman shall not be married until she has
  consented and the virgin shall not be married
  until her consent is obtained.( Mishkat)
• 2) " Mahr" a gift from the groom to his
  bride.

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Conditions for marriage cont.

• 3) Witnesses- 2 male or female.
• 4) The marriage should be publicized it should
  never be kept secret as it leads to suspicion and
  troubles within the community.

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Rights of a wife

• Husbands obligations upon wife
• Maintenance
• Men shall take full care of women with the
  bounties which God has bestowed more abundantly
  on the former than on the latter, and with what
  they may spend out of their possessions. And the
  righteous women are the truly devout ones, who
  guard the intimacy which God has ordained to be
  guarded. (Al Nisa 434)

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Rights of Wife

• 2. Mahr
• 3. Non-material rights
• The Glorious Quran sets that principle in Surah
  Al-Baqarah 2229-232 and An-Nisa 419 and ordains
  that it is mans duty to Allah to treat his
  wife with kindness, honor, and patience to keep
  her honorably or free her from the marital bond
  honorably and cause her no harm or grief.

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Husbands obligations

• Setting the course of behavior for the husband
  and wife, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said
  The best among you is the one who is best to his
  family.
• Prophet (peace be upon him) said The best among
  you are those who have the kindest of behavior
  and best disposition to their spouses, such are
  those who show the perfect faith.

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Rights of the Husband

• Contribute to the success and blissfulness of the
  marriage
• "Our Lord, grant us wives and offspring who will
  be the coolness of our eyes and guide us to be
  models for the righteous"

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Wifes obligations

• Obedience
• The man has been given the right to be obeyed
  because he is the leader and not because he is
  superior
• The husband is not to use his superior position
  as an excuse for oppression

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Wanna get married?

• Abu Hurairah related that the Prophet Muhammad
  said Men choose women for four reasons for
  their money, for their rank, for their beauty and
  for their religion, but marry one who is
  religious and you will succeed (Bukhari,
  Muslim).
• Another Hadith gives the high status to a pious
  woman, The world and all things in it are
  valuable but the most valuable thing in the
  world is a virtuous woman. (Muslim)

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Dua Salat IstikharaPrayer for Guidance

• Sincere intention
• Trusting Allah SWT
• Seeking guidance
• Being mindful of the limits
• Taking your time

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Selection of a partner

• A wide array of choices
• Arranged marriage
• Matrimonial services
• Chaperoned meetings
• Internet sites

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The interview

• Questions to ask
• . As the hadith says "when a man and a woman are
  together alone, there is a third presence i.e.
  shaitan. (Tirmidhi) There is no concept of
  dating in Islam as it is practiced in the west.

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The Wedding Day!
Our Prophet gave us the best advice The best
wedding is that upon which the least trouble and
expense is bestowed". (Mishkat)

• How many of us are willing to practice a truly
  Islamic marriage?
• We have to realize that an Islamic marriage is a
  simple civil contract between two adult Muslims

• Different cultures, have different practices
• A wedding should not be overly extravagant,
  should follow Islamic guidelines in etiquette and
  behavior

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Married Life

• It is important that our expectations are
  realistic
• No one is perfect
• The "happy ever after" portrayed in many
  Hollywood films is achievable but it takes time,
  patience, and effort to build and maintain this
  strong marital bond.

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Married Life cont

• They are not an extension of us
• Enjoy spending time together 
• learn to communicate effectively
• Establish your own rituals
• Enhance your spirituality
• Have a sense of humor
• surprise each other
• Forgive and forget

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Honeymoons over?

• Avoiding conflict
• And if you fear a breach between the two, then
  appoint judge from his people and a judge from
  her people if they both desire agreement, Allah
  will effect harmony between them, surely Allah is
  all Knowing, Aware.

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Causes of Conflict

• In laws
• Money
• Religious practices
• Stress of adjustment
• Cultural incompatibility
• Lack of tolerance for each other
• Lack of compromise

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Its over

• Divorce
• Child Custody
• Child Support

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Divorce

• The Quran states as regards to the grounds of
  divorce
• "And if you fear that the two (i.e husband and
  wife) may not be able to keep the limits ordered
  by Allah, there is no blame on either of them if
  she redeems herself (from the marriage tie) "(2
  229).
• Divorce is allowed however, it is not something
  to be taken lightly it is to be used as a last
  resort.

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Divorce cont

• Three types of divorce
• Divorce by Husband (Talaq)
• Divorce sought by the Wife (Khula)
• Divorce through court of law or arbitrator

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Process of Talaq

• A husband may give a pronouncement of divorce
  while the wife is in state of ritual purity
• The couple then waits for three-menstrual cycles
  of the wife, the entirety of a pregnancy , or
  four months and ten days for a woman past
  menopause. This time period allows for
  reconciliation
• After the waiting period is over the couple can
  separate permanently or have a new Nikah

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Process of Khula

• The main difference between this and Talaq is
  that it is initiated by the wife through a judge
  or arbitrator
• The waiting period and process are the same
  except that in this case the wife must return all
  or part of the mahr as decided by the judge

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Child Custody and Support

• The father must provide full financial support
  for the child
• The mother has primary custody, if she is unable
  then the maternal grandmother has custody, that
  is not an option then the paternal grandmother
  has custody, if all these are not possible then
  the father has custody

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Conclusion

• Marriage is a beautiful gift of Allah
• We need to cherish and nurture it
• Our intentions are always to please Allah