Successfully dealing with difficult people and difficult situations

1
Successfully dealing with difficult people and
difficult situations

• Pamela F Bell
• Portland Place Seminar
• 19th July 2005

2
What this session is not about!

• Referring colleagues to the GMC!
• SERIOUS PERFORMANCE FAILURE
• SERIOUS HEALTH PROBLEMS (including drug and
  alcohol addiction)
• SERIOUS MISCONDUCT
• Referring the Trust to the NCAA!
• Dealing with serious systems failures

3
What this session is about!

• Dealing with the everyday difficulties of
  working with colleagues in teams to ensure that
  optimum care is delivered to your patients.

4
Why are some people so difficult?

• Stop and think - just who is being difficult
  here?
• Is there a clash of personality types?
• Different personality types communicate their
  feelings and wishes in different ways
• People who are inflexible and locked in their own
  style are experienced as difficult and the
  source of conflict

5
Personality types

• Carl Jungs four personality types
• Go-getter, carer, analytical, socialising
• Myers Briggs type indicator
• extrovert E / introvert I
• intuitive N / sensing S
• thinking T / feeling F
• judging J / perceiving P

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What skills do you need to cope with difficult
people?

• First know yourself
• How does your emotional intelligence affect the
  way in which you view others?
• How does your personality type alter your
  behaviour with respect to others?
• How does your behaviour alter when stressed?

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What skills do you need to cope with difficult
people?

• Start with areas where you know you are in
  agreement
• It is then much easier to talk calmly about the
  areas of difficulty
• Assume nothing - test everything!
• Watch for should and ought these imply
  judgement

8
Giving Feedback

• Focus on description not on judgement
• Focus on sharing ideas/information rather than
  giving advice
• Focus on the needs of the receiver not on those
  of the giver
• Focus on the behaviour that the receiver can do
  something about
• Focus on what is said rather than why it is said
• Check that the information is clear/accurate

9
Why are some situations so difficult?

• Change - good or bad?
• Is the change sought or imposed?
• Is it threatening? And to whom?
• Will there be new teams? How will they function?
• Where is the power? And who will wield it?

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What do you need to cope with difficult
situations?

• Vision
• What is your preferred outcome? What are you
  trying to achieve?
• Support
• Who shares your vision and what can they do to
  achieve your preferred outcome?

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What skills do you need to cope with difficult
situations?

• Communication
• verbal and non-verbal
• watch carefully for situations where these are
  not aligned

12
What skills do you need to cope with difficult
situations?

• Conflict resolution

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Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument
ACCOMMODATING
COLLABORATING
high
COMPROMISING
Co-operation
AVOIDING
COMPETING
low
Assertiveness
assertive
unassertive
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What skills do you need to cope with difficult
situations?

• Negotiation skills
• planning
• asking questions
• testing understanding and summarising
• avoiding defend/attack spirals
• avoiding argument dilution
• commenting on feelings
• reviewing the negotiation

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Reading

• Resolving Conflict, S and M McConnon
• Communication Skills for Effective Management, O
  Hargie, D Dickson, D Tourish
• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, S Covey
• The Art of War, Sun Tze
• Inspiring Leadership, J Adair
• Management in Health Care the Role of Doctors,
  General Medical Council

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Successfully dealing with difficult people and
difficult situations

• Pamela F Bell
• Portland Place Seminar
• 19th July 2005