Bully Abuse: How Children Harm Other Children

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Bully Abuse How Children Harm Other Children

• Values in Action
• Karen A. Duncan, M.A, LSW, LMFT
• www.theright2besafe.org

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(No Transcript)
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Widespread effects of bullying

• An estimated 160,000 U.S. students miss school
  each day due to fear of attack or intimidation
  from peers and other students (National Education
  Association, 2003).
• Victimization contributes to truancy, a dislike
  of school, and school dropout (Duncan, 2004).

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What children need...

• Safe and nurturing environments.
• Values education that is developmentally
  appropriate.
• Cooperation between parents and educators.

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What is required...

• Awareness and a concrete definition of the
  problem of bully abuse.
• Commitment to meaningful solutions.
• Individual attention to the child who is the
  victim.
• Consistency with the child who bullies.
• Recognition that witnesses are secondary victims.

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Defining Bully Abuse

• Giving the problem a name.

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Prevalence of Bullying

• The frequency of bullying and the harm that it
  causes are seriously underestimated by many
  children and adults
• (Source Office of Juvenile Justice, 2001).

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Defining Bully Abuse

• Intentionality.
• Power Imbalance.
• A repeated pattern of behavior.
• Source Dan Olweus (1993)

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Ive been bullied
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Myths about Bullying

• It toughens kids up!
• Fact Abuse is demeaning and devaluing
• Fact Bullying creates victims and offenders.

• Bullying is not serious!
• Fact Bullying causes serious harm that has
  lasting effects.
• Fact Bullying is a serious trauma that is often
  repeated and continuous.

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Harm from Bullying

• Physical injury bruising, cuts, scratches.
• Emotional pain suicidal thoughts or attempts,
  fear, self-harm, abandonment, loneliness.
• Disruption to Education avoidance of school,
  inability to achieve goals, inability to
  concentrate.
• Mental suffering anxiety, depression,
  self-degradation, nightmares.
• Source Siris and Osterman, 2004 Whitted and
  Dupper, 2005 National Education Association.

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Harm from Bullying

• Multiple physical health problems that include
• ulcers, migraines, loss of appetite, weight gain,
  fatigue, stomach aches, eating disorders and
  substance abuse.
• Source American Medical Association,
  Educational Forum on Adolescent Health, Youth
  Bullying, 2002.

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Victim-Blaming

• Victim-blaming happens when
• There is not a clear definition of bullying.
• Characteristics of the target are identified as
  causing or contributing to the bullys
  behavior.
• Adults are not comfortable intervening.
• Adults are biased toward the victim (target).
• There is not an active Code of Conduct in
  place Values in Action!

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• In Meridian, Connecticut a 12 year old hanged
  himself in his closet with a necktie after being
  picked on for months at school over his bad
  breath and body odor (Scarponi, 2003).

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Supporting the Victim

• Provide safety.
• Restore respect.
• Make restitution.
• Acknowledgement.
• Support.
• Follow-up.
• (Handout Meeting with Students)

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Witnessing Bullying

• Students who observe bullying report that
  witnessing bullying is severely distressing.
  (Hoover Oliver, 1996).
• Witnesses are often intimidated and fearful that
  they may become the targets of bullies.
  (Chandler, et al., 1995).
• Witnesses may perform poorly in the classroom
  because their attention is focused on how they
  can avoid becoming the targets of bullying rather
  than on academic tasks. (Chandler, et al., 1995)

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Differentiating Witness from Cohorts

• Witnesses are not the same as cohorts.
• Witnesses are secondary victims of bully abuse.
• They need to experience safety to disclose what
  they witness.

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How Children Cope

• A significant number of children do not tell and
  they endure the abuse (52).
• A majority try to ignore bullying or avoid the
  bully (27).
• Physically retaliate against the bully or bullies
  (10).
• Plan their revenge (2).
• Source American Medical Association,
  Educational Forum on Adolescent Health, Youth
  Bullying, 2002.

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This is what you get for the way you treated
us. quote from Eric Harrison, Columbine High
School
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School Shootings

• The Final Report and Findings of the Safe School
  Initiative Implications for the Prevention of
  School Attacks in the United States.
  (www.secretservice.gov)
• United States Secret Service
• United States Department of Education
• Report published May 2002

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United States Dept of Education Report

• Studies school shootings from 1974 through 2000.
• Identified a total of 37 incidents involving 41
  student attackers.
• Interviewed 10 of the students.
• Most planned the attack.
• Their grievances that had been communicated.

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School Shootings

• Bullying or other aggressive behaviors had
  occurred prior to planning the attack.
• If the aggressive behaviors had occurred in the
  workplace, they would meet the legal definition
  of harassment.
• Conclusion of the study Bullying played a major
  role in school shootings.

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School Shootings

• Deaths included students, faculty and others at
  the school (73).
• Almost all the attackers were current students
  (95) or former students (5).
• In 54 of the attacks, the youth had selected at
  least one administrator, faculty member or staff
  member as a target.
• Two-thirds of the youth came from two-parent
  families (63).
• Very few lived with a foster parent or legal
  guardian (5).

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School Shootings

• The majority of shooters
• White males between the ages of 11 to 21.
• Doing well in school, receiving As and Bs and
  some were in Advanced Placement courses.
• Socialized with the mainstream of students.
• Had never been in trouble or rarely were in
  trouble at school.

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School Shootings

• 71 of the youth reported being persecuted,
  threatened, attacked or injured by others prior
  to the shooting (not able to interview the youth
  who took their own lives).
• A majority had experienced bullying and
  harassment that was severe and long-standing.
• Schoolmates described the youth as the kid
  everyone teased.

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School Shootings

• No diagnosis of a mental disorder or involvement
  in substance abuse.
• The youth did show
• A history of suicidal attempts or thoughts.
• A history of extreme depression and desperation.
• A sense of helplessness and hopelessness.

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Support to Victims

• Provide immediate support to the victim of bully
  abuse.
• Allow them to talk about what happened and how
  they felt (this may take time and more than one
  engagement).
• Ask them what they need to feel safe and their
  personal integrity restored.
• Call their parents and inform them what has
  happened and the schools response.
• Follow-up over the next 30 days to assure the
  bullying has stopped or if further intervention
  is needed.

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Understanding Bullying

• Education is the Key!

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Reality of Bully Abuse

• Most bullies have a positive attitude toward
  violence (Carney Merrell 2001 Glew et al.,
  2000).
• Bullies have moderate to high self-esteem a
  distorted image of themselves (Glew et al.,
  2000).

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Bullying Domestic Violence

• 26 times more likely to commit sexual assault.
• 74 times more likely to commit other crimes.
• (Source Office of Justice, Crime Victim Survey
  (2001)

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Smokowski and Kopasz, 2005 (NASW)

• Types of Bully Abuse
• Physical action oriented and uses direct
  physical means.
• Verbal uses words to hurt or humiliate-- it can
  happen quickly and may be difficult to detect.
• Relational convinces peers to exclude and
  ostracize derogatory e-mails-text messages.

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Whitted and Dupper, 2005 (NASW)

• Racial racial slurs, writing graffiti, mocking
  the culture of a youth, or making offensive
  gestures.
• Sexual unwanted sexual attention -passing
  sexual notes, jokes, pictures, taunts, sexual
  gestures, starting rumors of a sexual content, or
  ridiculing sexual orientation.
• Physical intrusiveness grabbing private parts,
  touching in a sexual manner or forcing someone to
  engage in sexual behaviors.

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Types of Bullies

• A New Perspective To
• Intervene with Child Offenders of Bully Abuse

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5 Characteristics of Bullies

• Commits repeated aggressive behavior.
• Internalized acceptance of violence.
• Impaired ability to form meaningful
  relationships.
• Exhibits a cruel indifference toward others.
• Seek status and dominance.

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Diversity of Bullies

• Bullies are a more diverse group than previously
  thought.
• No one type of bullying behavior.
• No one type of bully.
• Interventions are most effective when
  individualized.
• Overview of bully sub-types. (See Handout On
  Bully Sub-Types)

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Bully Sub-Types

• Figure 1.1 are bully sub-types that were
  cross-referenced with characteristics from Figure
  1.2.
• Allows for individual focus with a particular
  bully.
• Earn trust as behavior changes.
• Helps to give an operational definition of
  bullying at your school/organization.

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Type of Bullying

• 1. Physically Aggressive
• Individual Intervention

• Frequently commits physical acts of aggression
  and intimidation.
• Clear limits on not touching other students.

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Type of Bully

• 2. Anger Impaired
• Individual Intervention

• Low frustration tolerance and poor impulse
  control.
• Tai chi and yoga.
• Tools to increase patience and problem-solving.

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Type of Bully

• 3. Victim-Bully
• (Identifies with the aggressor)
• Individual Intervention

• Child or teen who was/is a repeat target of a
  bully.
• Effective intervention did not take place.
• Restore safety and personal integrity.
• Acknowledge victimization.

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Type of Bully

• 4. Emotional-Relational
• (Females)
• Individual Intervention

• Verbally and emotionally abuses a friend or peer
  to humiliate and embarrass.
• Relationship Group with other emotional bullies.
• Focus on healthy expression of anger and empathy
  toward others.
• Gender-based interventions.

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Type of Bully

• 5. Status Seeker
• Individual Intervention
• Assess Sexually aggressive behavior.

• Often an athlete or other youth who has been
  
  given special status by adults.
• Believes self to be privileged and code of
  conduct does not apply.
• Coaches, teachers and parents are important to
  target for intervention.
• Remove from privileges for 30 days.

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Type of Bully

• 6. Developmental
• Individual Intervention
• Assess

• Acts out when making a transition to a new school
  or grade in order to cope and fit in with peers.
• A Group to help with socialization skills.
• Assess for anxiety or depression.
• Assess for previous victimization.
• Special needs.

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Bully Sub-Types

• 7. Attention-seeking
• Individual Intervention
• Assess

• Child or teen who feels ignored or left out and
  wants to gain attention from peers or control the
  attention he or she receives.
• Teacher makes an effort to recognize strengths in
  the classroom.
• Give a responsibility to raise status.
• An older student to mentor the youth.
• Support within the home.

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Values in Action

• Code of Conduct

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Code of Conduct

• The cornerstone of a meaningful prevention
  education program.
• Integrated throughout the daily lives of youth.
• Emulated by educators and parents.
• Reinforced consistently.
• Shaping values, beliefs and behavior.

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Values in Action

• Reporting bullying is the goal with witnesses and
  victims.
• Honoring the Code of Conduct.
• Not condoning violence and aggression.
• Respect, safety and courtesy is expected.
• Adults are willing to step in and take action.

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Code of Conduct

• In writing and posted throughout the school.
• Discussed during regularly scheduled assemblies
  and other meetings with youth.
• Discussed during informal forumsprior to a game,
  during club activities.
• Distribute to parents, faculty and staff.
• Consequences of bullying in writing.

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Examples Code of Conduct

• We treat others with respect and courtesy.
• No one touches anyone else.
• Name calling is disrespectful and not allowed.
• Regard for each others personal and emotional
  space.
• Compliment each other.
• Everyone is included and no one is left out.

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Guidelines

• A Code of Conduct for Staff, Faculty and Parents.
• How staff are to interact with students and
  parents.
• How parents are to interact with faculty and
  staff.
• Example Sarcasm is not an acceptable form of
  communication.

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Example of 3-Tier Consequences

• Code of Conduct No Name Calling
• 1st consequence requires a written apology and a
  call to the parent.
• 2nd consequence requires a written apology,
  parent conference and a student group to review
  the Code of Conduct.
• 3rd consequence requires a verbal and written
  apology, parent conference, and loss of
  privileges at school for two weeks.

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Comprehensive Prevention Program

• Survey to assess bully abuse.
• Types of Bullies.
• Written Code of Conduct Consequences (3-Tier
  Age Specific).
• Code of Conduct Educational Group
• Consistently distributed and discussed.
• Meeting with Students.
• Support to Victims
• Differentiate Witnesses from Cohorts
• Meeting with Parents.
• Prevention Education and Program Awareness.
• Guidelines that are followed.
• (Developed by Karen A. Duncan)

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The Role of Parents

• Discuss with parents on how to respond to their
  children who experience bully abuse
• Listen and understand the bullying experience.
• Be involved at the school as their childs
  advocate.
• Resources on the school web-site and at parent
  conferences

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The Role of Parents

• Inform parents when their child or teen has
  engaged in bullying.
• Reinforce the Code of Conduct.
• Explain the immediate consequence and future
  consequences if there is a reoccurrence.
• Ask what assistance they need from you.
• Encourage parents not to use physical punishment.
  
• Stay calm, firm, direct and reinforce the
  behavior that is expected.

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Closing Thoughts
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Components of Success

• Leadership.
• Cooperation.
• Commitment.
• Financial Resources.
• Sustainability.
• Gratitude.

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What Kids Need
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Never doubt that a small group of committed
individual can make a difference indeed it is
the only thing that ever has.

• Margaret Meade,
• Anthropologist

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Thank you!

• Send Questions and Comments to
• www.theright2besafe.org