WHAT I WISH ID KNOWN WHEN BEGINNING A YOUNG ADULT OR SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY

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WHAT I WISH ID KNOWN WHEN BEGINNING A YOUNG
ADULT OR SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY

• DISCOVERING THE KEYS THAT UNLOCK THE ANSWERS!
• Dennis Franck
• Director, Single Adult Ministries
• Assemblies of God

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TYPES/AGES OF ADULTS WHO WILL ATTEND

• NEVER MARRIED-mostly ages 18-35
• FORMERLY MARRIED-all ages 20-65
• WIDOWED-all ages 25-65
• SINGLE PARENT-mostly ages 20-50
• SEPARATED-all ages 20-65
• (legally married but living a single life)

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VAST AGE SPANS

• Young Adults 18 35 yrs
• Single Adult Ministry....35 60 yrs
• Varied
• Interests
• Physical abilities
• Preferences
• Opinions

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BUILDING A MINISTRY FROM SCRATCH

• Pray-nothing of value is accomplished without
  prayer!
• Obtain permission and support
• Senior pastor
• Board
• Other

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Determine Demographics

• In your church
• Church data base
• Sunday survey
• In your community
• www.census.gov (state/county)
• County courthouse

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DESIGN MINISTRY BYAGE AND/OR NEED GROUPS

• BY AGE
• 18 25 (College age)
• 18 30 yrs.
• Mid 20s 30s
• 30Single/single - again
• (35 if have 20s 30s)

• BY NEED.
• Single Parents children
• -Pre-school
• -Elementary
• -Jr/Sr High
• Divorce Care children
• -Age groups
• Widowed

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Decide Which Age/Interest Group (s) To Target
First

• Consider
• What do the numbers show?
• Your age
• Desires of current leaders
• Desire of potential leaders
• Other ministries in your community
• You cannot target ALL ages/interest groups when
  beginning

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Young Adults/Single Adults 3 Markets (which
one(s) will you reach?)

• In YOUR church
• In NO church
• In OTHER churches

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Develop A Contact List

• From church data base/survey
• From young adults/single adults
• From other friends/referrals
• Name, email, address, phone etc.

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Organize A Planning Team

• Interested males and females
• Target age or interest group
• Discuss
• Purposes of ministry (Outreach, Discipleship,
  Discussion, Educational, Small Group, Activities,
  Contemporary Service)
• Meeting days
• Times
• Frequency
• Location
• Possible names of ministry
• Other

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Develop a Vision Statement and Mission Statement

• Vision Statement
• The WHAT of the ministry
• Purpose/Reason for being
• End result
• Single Life Ministries exists to build single
  adults who are whole spiritually, socially,
  intellectually and relationally to achieve their
  God-given potential.

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Mission Statement

• Mission Statement
• The HOW of the ministry
• Main goals
• What will be done to achieve the vision?
• The goals of Single Life Ministries are to
  recognize, reach, restore, and release single
  adults into the Kingdom.

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Plan/Host a Large Event

• What event would attract the target group?
• Involve many in the planning
• Take time in planning
• Plan for a quality event
• Promote it heavily/regularly

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FIND TEACHING MATERIALS

• What resources do we have now?
• (People-Facilities-Money-Materials etc.)
• What resources do we need to get?
• www.singles.ag.org www.youngadults.ag.org
• Who else is doing what we want to do?
• Contact them
• Same denomination
• Other denominations/independent

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Begin Weekly Classes

• Young adults/Single adults want
• Quality friendships - males and females
• Relevant teaching - life issues, spiritual issues
• Discussion-opportunities to learn from others
• How often should you meet to fill these needs?

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COMMON NEEDS/INTERESTS OF MARRIED SINGLE ADULTS

• SALVATION
• BAPTISM
• DISCIPLESHIP
• OBEDIENCE
• PRAYER LIFE
• COMMITMENT
• BIBLE TEACHING
• SPIRITUAL GROWTH

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COMMON INTERESTS/NEEDS OF SINGLE ADULTS/YOUNG
ADULTS (most ages)

• Career issues
• Self esteem
• Courting/Dating
• Pre-marital education
• Re-marital education
• Understanding emotions
• Learning to risk
• Acceptance
• Dealing with Guilt
• Loneliness
• Financial issues

• Spiritual Growth
• Singleness issues
• Friendships with same and opposite sex
• Money management
• Understanding Sexuality
• Developing Identity
• Stress management
• Coping with changes
• Setting goals

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UNIQUE INTERESTS/NEEDS OF SINGLE ADULTS/YOUNG
ADULTS (influenced by age and life circumstances)

• Rearing kids alone
• Shared parenting
• Relating to ex spouse
• Time away from kids
• Extra financial issues
• Learning to forgive
• Learning to trust
• Dating/dating again
• Divorce Recovery
• Integrity

• Grief Recovery
• Learning to risk
• Fitting in
• Humility
• Finding my new role
• Depression
• Managing anger
• Blending families
• Relating to married adults as a single

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LOOK FOR A LEADER

• The buck needs to stop somewhere!
• Appoint a leader to
• Provide a vision
• Lead the leadership team
• Make decisions
• Make relationships with leaders a priority
• Make the sacrifices
• Spend time in prayer
• Set an example for the leadership team

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Begin A Leadership Team

• Look for interested, passionate people
• Target age/interest group
• Available
• Willing to help
• Mature
• Good Attitude
• Committed to the Lord

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POTENTIAL LABELS ROM. 1416-DO NOT ALLOW WHAT
YOU CONSIDER GOOD TO BE SPOKEN OF AS EVIL.DONT
CRITICIZE THAT WHICH IS JUSTIFIABLE

• LONELY HEARTS CLUBLONERS
• DATING MARKETLOVERS
• HOSPITAL...LOSERS
• CHURCH..LEAVERS
• PLACE OF/FOR MINISTRY.....LIVERS

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HEALING AND WHOLENESS

• HEALING AND WHOLENESS
• -Spiritual-emotional-relational-physical
• EMERGENCY ROOM
• -Sometimes people need help right now
• MOBILITY AND TRANSIENCY
• REASONS FOR
• 50 TURNOVER EVERY 6-12 MONTHS! NUMBERS GAME
  
• -move -no one interests them
  -unfriendliness
• -marry -conviction -offended
• -break up -wrong ages -involved in other
• -too spiritual -not ok with singleness
  area of church
• -not spiritual -biases toward others
  -philosophy diff.
• -DONT WORRY ABOUT IT! WORK AT CLOSING THE BACK
  DOOR!
• -MINISTER TO PEOPLE WHILE THEY ARE THERE!

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OPENNESS AND HONESTY

• OPENNESS HONESTY
• -They need you to tell it like it is!
• -Frank, bold, honest teaching needed on relevant
  issues
• COUNSELING
• -Spiritual, relational, emotional, psychological
• -Refer to qualified individuals when necessary
• -Establish relationships with Christian
  counselors

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HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS

• NEED FOR FRIENDSHIPS
• -Probably the biggest need
• -Provide varied/many opportunities for
• -Wholeness comes through healthy friendships
• I Cor. 1111 - In Gods plan, men and women need
  each other!
• TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE
• -Lifter-spiritually/emotionally strong
• -Leaner- weak

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ENTRANCES/EXITS OF PEOPLE

• OPEN DOOR
• -Everyone is accepted
• -Regardless of spiritual, social, mental,
  physical situations
• REVOLVING DOOR
• -Everyone leaves
• -Immediately-later-eventually
• SLIDING DOOR
• -Help mainstream single adults into church
• -Allow them to leave to minister

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INTEGRATION IS THE GOAL!

• IT IS THE GOAL FOR MOST PEOPLE TO
• EVENTUALLY LEAVE THE MINISTRY
• INVOLVE IN THE WHOLE LIFE OF THE CHURCH
• TAKE CHURCH LEADERSHIP POSITIONS
• MIX WITH OTHER TYPES OF PEOPLE
• BECOME COMFORTABLE IN THE TOTAL LIFE OF THE
  CHURCH

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OBTAINING SR PASTOR SUPPORT

• Meet with him-regularly to inform him
• Give him materials
• Ask for help-budget, promotion, speaking
• Feature the pastor at a major event
• Interview board members at a meeting/class
• Send mailings to them
• Talk to them at church

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PLAN INTENTIONALLY

• LOCATION-on or off the church grounds-possible
  pros cons
• FORMAT-components of the meeting, scheduling of
  time for each
• SEATING-formal or informal, use of tables and
  chairs
• TEACHING-style, topics, discussion opportunities,
  question answer etc.
• REFRESHMENTS-simple, inexpensive

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ON GROUNDS BENENFITS (regular weekly meeting)

• 1) More people exposed to your church
• 2) Less storage problems
• 3) Less set up, clean up and transporting of
  tables, chairs, props, materials etc.
• 4) More access to tables, chairs, props etc.
• 5) Less time finding a meeting room

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ON GROUNDS BENEFITS

• 6) Less risk of losing the meeting room
• 7) No cost
• 8) Fewer requests to announce other churches'
  events
• 9) More exposure of the ministry to your church

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OFF GROUNDS BENEFITS (regular weekly meeting)

• 1) More community exposure
• 2) Attracts more unbelievers due to neutral
  setting
• 3) Attracts more believers who do not have a
  singles ministry at their church
• 4) Attracts more children of single parents to
  transport to your church for Sunday School
• Easier to build a city-wide influence and image

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OFF GROUNDS BENEFITS

• 6) Easier to build relationships with other
  pastors
• 7) Less denominational hang ups in peoples' minds
  due to the neutral setting
• 8) More flexibility with schedule
• Any size church could sponsor the ministry
• Easier for several churches to sponsor together

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PRAY CONSISTENTLY AND PERSISTENTLY!

• Bigger the ministry, the more prayer!
• Bathe every part of ministry in prayer
• Leadership - model prayer!
• We have not because we ask not!
• II Chron. 714-If my people will humble
  themselves and pray..
• Without prayer
• playing at ministry!
• ministry becomes mechanical!

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CORRECT THE MISCONCEPTIONS

• Purposes of the ministry-Where are they stated?
  How often? Are they known?
• Image of the ministry
• Loners .....Lonely
• Losers...Hurting and needy
• Lovers...Looking for someone
• Leavers.Non-committal
• Livers...Can be effective ministers!
• (Jesus was single)

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PROVIDE BALANCED TEACHING

• TWO TYPES OF TEACHING NEEDED
• PERSONAL TOPICS- Relationships, Self Esteem,
  Sexuality, Career choice, Pre-marital issues,
  Divorce care, Single parenting etc.
• SPIRITUAL TOPICS-Salvation, Faith, Commitment,
  Prayer, Discipline, Growth, etc.

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PROVIDE BALANCED OPPORTUNITIES

• Spiritual Opportunities
• Relational Opportunities
• Educational Opportunities
• Social Opportunities
• Recreational Opportunities

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BUDGET FINANCES

• ANY MINISTRY WORTH HAVING IS WORTH FUNDING!
• Educate the Sr. Pastor/Board
• Realize single adults will give to the cause
• Being part of the church budget is best!
• Take and keep offerings towards ministry costs

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PROMOTION

• Promote INSIDE the church
• Flyers, bulletins, dramas, posters, videos,
  emails, visits to adult classes, other groups
  etc.
• Promote OUTSIDE the church
• Website, posters, business cards, newspaper ads,
  radio public service announcements, brochures in
  counseling/shopping centers, laundry mats etc.

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UNDERSTAND COUNSELING NEEDS

• TYPES NEEDED
• SPIRITUAL ISSUES
• RELATIONAL ISSUES
• PERSONAL ISSUES
• PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES
• PROVIDE AND/OR REFER TO OTHER COUNSELORS

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NO VISITORS COMING?

• LEADERSHIP SHOULD EVALUATE
• Current promotion
• Friendliness of the group
• Format of the meeting
• Time, location of meeting
• Image of the group
• Teaching topics, style etc
• Opportunities for discussion
• Opportunities for fellowship

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PLAN LOCAL OUTREACHES

• Group can easily become inward-focused
• Outreach helps single adults look outside of
  themselves
• Outreach will give
• individuals a bigger perspective
• individuals a better perspective
• your ministry credibility

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BUILDING LEADERSHIP-ASK

• What responsibilities could/should we delegate?
• Who has leadership potential?
• (Desires-Skills-Experience-Vision-Good Attitude)
• When can I meet with them?

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BEGINNING A MINISTRYPRIMARY LEADERSHIP NEEDED

• Hospitality
• Follow-up
• Music
• Discussion leaders
• Snacks/Food
• Activities
• Emcee
• Teacher

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MALE VS. FEMALELeadership

• Generally, the older the group, the more
  important and difficult it is to find male
  leadership.
• ISSUES
• Attracting both genders
• Retaining both genders
• Egos of men
• Perceived authority-men vs. women
• Use men in front as much as possible
• Organizational ability-men vs. women

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MARRIED VS. SINGLELeadership

• Generally
• The younger the age group, the more accepting
  people are of married couples in leadership.
• The older the age group, the more accepting
  people are of remarried couples in leadership.

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MARRIED VS. SINGLELeadership

• Leadership should be predominantly single adults.
  
• Experience
• Flexibility of time
• Understanding of issues
• Respect of peers
• Example of life, growth, maturity

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PRINCIPLES OF LEADERSHIP

• OWNERSHIP
• -They must own the ministry!
• -People will support what they help to create!
• -You dont need to make all the decisions!
• RESPONSIBILITY
• -Organize the ministry
• -Give people responsibilities
• -Trust them with these

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PRINCIPLES OF LEADERSHIP

• AUTHORITY
• -Give it--Responsibility without authority is
  PUPPETRY
• -Accept it--Receive it humbly
• -Use it--Dont run to your authority for every
  decision
• -Respect it--Learn your boundaries
• ACCOUNTABILITY
• -Dont be afraid of it
• -Everyone needs to be accountable to someone
• -A system of checks and balances

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NETWORK WITH OTHER LEADERS!

• YOU CAN LEARN FROM OTHERS!
• LOOK FOR OTHER GROUPS/LEADERS
• YOUR PEOPLE WANT TO MEET OTHER PEOPLE!
• YOUR GROUP NEEDS A LARGER VISION!

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