Drafting the Narrative

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Drafting the Narrative
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Telling the Life Story

• Your job is to take the insights you created in
  the previous section (outline) and blend them
  together into a series of well-crafted paragraphs
  which tell the really important stories. A good
  story offers drama, excitement, human interest,
  passion and suspense. Tell your story so your
  audience will be at the edge of their seats
  wanting to learn more.

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Strengths of narrative writing

• Description (use specific nouns and verbs) Active
  verbs (eliminate passive voice is was)
• Dialogue (include conversation between
  individualsmake sure to check formatting and
  punctuation rules-pg. 117 in Easy Writer)
• Keep verb tense and point of view consistent
  (pick one and stick with it)
• Present, past, future tenses (even with
  flashbacks, maintain consistent tense)
• First, second, third person (dont use second
  (you) unless in quotes. Pick either first or
  third and stick with it)

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Drafting your narrative

• Using your outline, you will begin writing a
  first draft of your narrative.
• Consider the following
• Description (figurative language)
• Dialogue
• Point of view and tenses are consistent

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Constructing the Introduction

• An introduction of the narrative essay should
  give a clear insight into the story that is going
  to be presented.
• An introductory paragraph should also identify
  the general style that a writer is going to
  follow (narration, observation, description of
  the personal experience or any other style).
• The writer should choose the angle from which he
  is going to describe an event, personality, or
  scene, and ensure that his description is
  original, creative, and thrilling.

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Essentials of a good introduction

• Get the readers attention
• Introduce characters
• Indicate setting (location, time period,
  environmental cues) and/or set the stage
• Identify the purpose of narrative story (may be
  observation, conflict, etc.)

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Sample introduction

• I was in gym class when my teacher
  suggested we go outside and play softball. As we
  made our way out to the field, my stomach slowly
  turned into a giant knot of fear.
• Softball is not my game. I have a knack
  for always getting hit in the head by the ball.
  It doesnt matter where Im standing. The ball
  seems to find me.

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Sample introduction

• The Boy with John Travolta Blue Eyes
• High school alone is the hardest part of
  any teenagers life, but when it gets mixed in
  with an awkward adolescents idea of liking
  someone, life turns into a whirlwind emotional
  adventure. Like my plate wasnt overflowing
  already with a chemistry teacher who called me
  Crash (a name I acquired after dropping a
  beaker during our first lab), a sassy algebra
  teacher who said that I didn't have the aptitude
  for the subject, or a French teacher who flirted
  with the class and laughed at her own jokes. No,
  I complicated things even further because stupid
  me fell in love.

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Sample introduction

• When I walked through my front door, the
  first thing I noticed was the odor. Then, I heard
  the groaning. I remember the occasion quite
  vividly, although it was ten years ago. My sister
  and I had just returned from the park with a
  neighbor, expecting everything to be normal. I
  soon discovered that nothing would ever be normal
  again.

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Sample introduction

• Caught in the Net
• Hello. My name is Kim. Im an
  online-aholic. There. Ive said it. I guess Ive
  been addicted for quite some time now, but I have
  just begun to realize it.
• My first interaction with the Net began
  when I was only 15 years old. My dad was the
  computer coordinator at our school, so he wanted
  to try Internet access at home before installing
  it at school. We became America Online members in
  1993. None of my friends had e-mail back then.

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Sample introduction

• The Climb
• I have this fear. It causes my legs to
  shake. I break out in a cold sweat. I start
  jabbering to anyone who is nearby. As thoughts of
  certain death run through my mind, the world
  appears a precious, treasured place. I imagine my
  own funeral, then shrink back at the implications
  of where my thoughts are taking me. My stomach
  feels strange. My palms are clammy.
• I am terrified of heights.
• Of course, its not really a fear of
  being in a high place. Rather, it is the view of
  a long way to fall, of rocks far below me and no
  firm wall between me and the edge. My sense of
  security is screamingly absent. There are no
  guardrails, flimsy though I picture them, or
  other safety devices. I can rely only on my own
  surefootednessor lack thereof.

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Body Paragraphs

• The basic rule here is the same as always
  include specific details. The purpose of using
  stories is to illustrate your points with
  concrete evidence, thereby giving your ideas
  force and context.
• Show Active Contribution Many people tell
  stories in which the payoff is a lesson learned.
• Emphasize the Process Don't set up a problem and
  jump to the solution. Show us the process of
  reaching that solution. Give details about your
  approach and your reasoning.
• Paint a Vivid Picture Try to draw the reader
  into your story by including details that bring
  the story alive. One effective way to accomplish
  this is to think visually.
• Gleaning Insights Anecdotes should serve some
  clear purpose, but you have to be careful about
  sounding contrived. One common mistake is to
  start citing lessons before you've finished the
  story.

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Body paragraph sample

• Have you ever been slapped in front of
  all your high school classmates? Unfortunately,
  in the archaic, authoritarian Turkish school
  system, such punishment is regularly meted out to
  students, and I was once deliberately humiliated
  by a high school teacher who slapped me hard
  across the face. As the president of my class,
  one of my responsibilities was to list on the
  blackboard the names of everyone who talked when
  the teacher was not in the room. When the teacher
  returned, he would slap the students who talked
  across the face. Ordinarily, I took my
  responsibility seriously and obediently wrote
  down my classmates' names to preserve the silence
  and decorum of the school environment. However,
  when a different teacher walked in, a teacher
  known to punish harshly, I decided to save my
  friends from his hard strokes, and I erased all
  the names. I had to take their punishment
  myself. 

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Body paragraph sample

• Last year in my high school
  child-development class, each student had to take
  the Think-It-Over baby home for a night to get
  a taste of parenthood. Even before I received the
  baby, I knew I was not ready to be a parent as a
  senior in high school. I could still remember
  when my brother and sister were little and I
  would have to take care of them all the time. At
  least the doll had no dirty diapers I would have
  to change.
• It was a Friday night when my turn
  came to take the 10-pound plastic doll home. The
  doll really did look like a live baby from a
  distance. It even had a pleasant baby powder
  smell. After I took the baby home in his car
  seat, I changed him into some really cute clothes
  because my friends and I were going out that
  night. I then decided to name him Tyler.
• Inside the body of this doll was a
  computer that was programmed to make periodic
  crying sounds. I was the only person who could
  stop the crying because I had the key. This key,
  tied to my wrist, could be inserted in the dolls
  back to stop the crying. So far, so good. The
  doll had not cried, yet.

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Body paragraph sample

• As we slowly inched into the living
  room, a staggering sight met our eyes. There,
  lying facedown on a couch, was my father,
  ashen-faced and trembling. His head was
  completely bald, and his grisly figure appeared
  enervated. He was gasping for air, and then
  suddenly, he grabbed a blue pan, plunged his face
  into it, and vomited with such vehemence that I
  shivered. Only then did I fully understand what
  it meant for my dad to have cancer. At seven
  years old, I confronted the horrors of cancer in
  my living room, and realized for the first time
  that my father was fighting to survive. Catching
  me out of the corner of his eye, he raised his
  head from the blue pan and uttered a weak,
  "Hello," only to vomit again--this time missing
  the pan. My neighbor saw my face, put his hand on
  my shoulder, and whispered, "Let your dad
  rest--he has been fighting brave and hard." 
  My dad, my hero. The source of my love and
  guidance was now battling for his life. After the
  doctors detected the colon cancer in 1987, the
  tumor became more and more malignant, and the
  effects on my family were more and more severe. A
  long series of debilitating surgeries and
  chemotherapy treatments consumed my father's
  life, and by extension, enveloped my entire
  family. My mother, now a de facto nurse and
  breadwinner, spent her time and energy, not to
  mention large amounts of the family's money,
  fiercely battling my father's cancer. Meanwhile,
  my sister and I began to "lag" behind in school
  and in life--willing casualties of cancer's war.
  Growing up without a father figure at my
  side, I always felt distanced from my classmates.
  In elementary and middle school, I noticed that
  most other kids communicated and played with
  ease. I, by contrast, was quiet, timid, and
  introverted, isolated at home and at school. I
  feared human contact so much that, for a period
  of time, I could not even bring myself to look
  into the faces of people who spoke to me. Some
  children considered me an outcast--an easy target
  for harassment and ridicule.  My
  depreciated self-esteem affected my performance
  in school. Ridiculed by my classmates, I lost the
  confidence to excel. In a vicious spiral, each
  bad grade would not only further undermine my
  confidence, but also make me feel as if I had
  failed my father, who cared so much about
  academics when he was healthy. I was ashamed of
  every report card I showed him, mistaking his
  concern for disappointment. 

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Conclusion

• After the story, you should have some significant
  insight with which to conclude in order to
  justify the story's inclusion. This line should
  not be a mere repetition of the transition from
  the beginning of the paragraph, because you now
  should have more concrete details from which to
  draw more in-depth conclusions.

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Conclusion paragraph sample

• I am proud of the changes I have made in
  my life, and I owe all my strength to my father.
  My dad has been at my side every step of the way.
  Even as a bedridden cancer patient, ravaged by
  chemotherapy, his example taught me to face
  adversity and to conquer it, no matter the nature
  of the challenge. His struggle with colon cancer
  became a model for my own struggle to improve
  myself. Even today, I continue to fight,
  struggling with college entrance tests. Despite
  the challenge, I continue unshaken, knowing that
  the truest test of my ability is my determination
  to live bravely like my father and to overcome
  the hardships of life. I can never thank my dad
  enough for what he has given me. He has become my
  role model, and I hope that one day, many years
  from now, he will say to me, "I'm proud of you
  son--you have been fighting brave and hard."

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Conclusion paragraph sample

• My grandparents' strength has also
  shored up my determination to succeed. I have
  learned that, as in swimming, life's successes
  often come in small increments. Sometimes even
  the act of showing up at a workout when your body
  and psyche are worn out separates a great result
  from a failure. The difference between success
  and failure is defined by the ability to overcome
  strong internal resistance. I know that, by
  consistently working towards my goals--however
  small they may seem--I can accomplish what I set
  for myself, both in and beyond the swimming pool.
  

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Conclusion paragraph sample

• While my personal identity is in many ways a
  reaction against Turkish culture, there are some
  attributes of Turkish culture that I have
  incorporated into my identity, like having
  respect for one's elders, having self-discipline
  in both religious and educational life, and
  believing in a religion that gives me the
  confidence and determination to achieve my goals.
  These personal qualities, combined with my
  determination and my questioning nature, will
  help me find success in Western culture.
  Moreover, because the United States has far fewer
  gender-based restrictions than Turkey, and since
  it enjoys a more developed educational system
  with state-of-the-art technology, I believe that
  the United States will give me the opportunity to
  achieve my full potential, to speak out against
  injustice, and to seek the truth.

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Transitional Words

• The following are common words and phrases that
  help show logical connections between sentences
  or between ideas.
• Additional facts-   again, also, another, and
  besides, finally, further, furthermore, in
  conclusion, initially, next, to begin with
• Similarities- as, as though, also, in the same
  way, like, similarly
• Contrasts- although, but, despite, either, even
  though, however, if, in spite of, instead,
  neither, still, unless, yet
• Place- above, among, adjacent, below, beyond,
  farther, nearby, opposite, there, under
• Cause- because, since, for this reason
• Result- as a result, consequently, for this
  reason, obviously, so, therefore
• Specific Examples- a few of these are,
  especially, for example, in particular,
  specifically
• Emphasis- basically, essentially, certainly, in
  fact, indeed, of course
• Time- after, afterward, as soon as, before,
  finally, later, now, not long after, until, when,
  while