A%20Father

1
A Fathers Perspective Connecting With Our Kids

• Michael Petrucelli
• Father, Husband
• CFO of Uncle Wallys
• Coach Kids Sports
• Founder www.DadsForKids.org
• Co-founded Fathers Club of Ridgefield
• Active in Community Service

2
Inspiring Quotes

• If we do a poor job of parenting our children,
  anything else we may accomplish in our lives will
  mean very little. Jacqueline Kennedy
  Onassis
• Hands On Parents raise children who are much
  less likely to use drugs. Joseph
  Califano, Chairman of CASA

3
One Dads Evolutionthe Journey

• Workaholic first priority Wall Street, Ernst
  Young, GE
• Avoided Wake up callstill severe Lyme Disease
  1995
• Co-founded Fathers Club of Ridgefield in1997
• Town Meeting on Risky Teen Behaviors Nov 2002
• May 2003 25 Fathers in group. Launched
  DadsForKids.org
• Quarterbacked Town Meeting - May 2003 Event
  Premature Sexuality,Health Risks Our
  Children ..200 Dads, Moms and Teens attended !
• Over 150,000 people visited site since May 2003.
  ..Our Goal Bring the Best Parenting Tools to
  You !
• Involved Father, Effective CFO, Coach, Community
  Service
• Balancing lifes demands is not easy. Learning
  Everyday.

4
www.DadsForKids.orgMission Statements

• Becoming the best fathers we can be through
  education, sharing caring for the well being of
  our children.
• Nurture, guide and empower our children to make
  better choices.
• Give our children Roots Wings to make
  enabling decisions to reach their potential in
  life.
• Share best practices solutions that will foster
  better relationships with our children family.
• Become better men along the way.

5
How the times have changed ! Public school
teachers rated the top issues

• 1990
• Drug abuse
• Alcohol abuse
• Pregnancy
• Suicide
• Rape
• Robbery
• Assault

• 1940
• Talking out of turn
• Chewing gum
• Making Noise
• Running in the halls
• Cutting in line
• Dress-code violations
• Littering

6
Why children are in this situation

• --------------------------------------------------
  ----
• Balancing Lifes Demands is stressful
• Both Parents Workingless time together
• AffluenceAvailabilityAttitudes
• Single Parent Householdson the rise
• Media 3rd Parenthuge influence on kids
• Parents Doing a Lousy JobDr. Bradley
• Parent vs FriendNot Setting Limits
• Our Children are too busyLike Corporate Execs
• We are slowly brainwashedto accept the Ads, the
  Media, the influence as no big deal

7
Risk Factors Facing Kids Today Its our job to
explain the potential problemsthey are life
changing and life threatening

• New Challenges
• Less Family Time
• Broken Families
• Media 3rd Parent
• Internet
• Binge Drinking
• Drugs More Available
• Sexually Active
• STDs / HIV
• Attitudes...
• Xtreme Carpe Diem
• Rapes Increasing
• BullyingHazing
• STD Vaccine

• Existing Challenges
• Poor Choices
• Unhealthy Relationships
• Peer Pressure
• Missing Family Values
• Teen Pregnancies
• Abortion
• Suicide
• We need to get involved,
• and help them through these
• tough timesand learn
• when to seek help.
• Whats Your Plan ?

8
Essential Ingredients in Building a
Teenagers CharacterIt Starts with Love
9
Teen Sex Drugs More of a Link than you Think
!

• You've heard it before... someone goes out, gets
  high on marijuana, lowers their boundaries and
  does something they really, really regret
  afterwards. Unfortunately, this happens more than
  you think.
• Teens who use drugs are 5 times more likely to
  have sex than are those teens who do not use
  drugs. (CASA).
• Teens who have used marijuana are four times more
  likely to get pregnant or to have gotten someone
  pregnant than teens who have never smoked pot.
  (CASA)
• More than 1/3 of sexually active teens and young
  adults report that alcohol or drug use has
  influenced a decision to do something sexual.
  (CASA, the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, and
  the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA)).

10
Keeping Teens Connected

1. Become stay active in their lifeStart Early
2. Have Dinner together. Get to know your kids !
3. Find Common Interests, spend Quality Quantity
   time together
4. Teens are so busy cut back do one more thing
   with family.
5. Let them know you CARE LOVE them.
6. Create Trust. Encourage Teens to share their
   problems.
7. Listen to what their going through. They will one
   day share their feeling challenges. Dont give
   up !
8. Share information about Teens good bad
   experiences.
9. Compliment them as often as possible.
10. Clearly explain the consequences risk factors
    of bad decisions.
11. Kids wants their Parents to set limitsNeed to
    know boundaries
12. Coach them to stay on the right path make good
    choices !

11
Things I have Learned

• Dr. Mike Bradley
• YES, Your Teen is Crazy
• Teens want need limits
• Teach Teens to Control Themselves.
• Worry when Angst stopsdrugs ?
• Teen Brain develops till 21 years !
• Dont forbid, tell them you cant support them
• Father-Daughter Discussions important
• --------------------------------------------------
  ------------------------
• Mary Ronan
• Raising Children in an UnGodly World
• Love, Lead, Limit
• Reduce Ungodly Influences
• Spiritual Path Critical

• Steve Pat Saso
• 10 Best Gifts for Your Teen
• Let your Teen Individuate
• Write a letter to your Teen
• Let them know your not perfect
• Am I using what I know ?
• Dont take actions personally
• --------------------------------------------------
  ---
• Pam Stenzel
• Sex Has a Price Tag
• If only I would have known ?
• Am I Pregnant ? NO but HPV
• Explain what God Intended for themthey are a
  gift
• Play Now, Pay Later

12
Seek Learning Opportunities

• Talk with your kids about respect, their rights
  and their responsibility for their lives.
• Help them to visualize the outcome of their life
  choices, i.e. healthy relationships, balance
  short long term thinking.
• Share Lifes lessons, when the opportunity
  presents itself, (TV, movie, in the car).
• Let them make their own mistakes.
• Help them to understand the consequences of their
  actionsDo NOT Bail them out !
• Kids need structure to grow and to be healthy
• For children, LOVE is spelled T-I-M-E.

13
Survival Tips

• Children connected to their family are more
  likely to avoid risky behaviors.
• Give your Children the Essential Enabling Life
  Tools
• Teach Kids to THINK on their feet
• Teach Kids Rights, Responsibility,
  Respect.Kindness
• Explain what True Friendship is and what Love
  really means
• Role Play through tough situations
• Help them to Resist Peer Pressureto have Courage
• Encourage them to be Independent thinkers
• A Healthy Dose of Joyful Fear Works !
• Children will reflect on what we said when they
  are in a challenging situation. Let them know
  what you expect of them.
• Take on the real battles involving our childrens
  safety. Ask is this battle worth fighting for ?
• Develop a sense of humor ! Someday they will
  thank you !

14
Dads for Kids - Quarterly Check Up

1. Have I set a goal to be a GREAT Dad ?
2. Do I feel successful at home? What would my
   family say ?
3. What kind of father and husband am I ?
4. Will I accept that I may not be popular for doing
   the RIGHT thing for my kids ?
5. Can I say NO to my childrens requests ?
6. Do I accept that our kids are watching us ?
7. Am I a good role model ?
8. What actions do I need to make to move closer to
   my teen ?
9. Am I spending Quality Quantity Time with my
   children ?
10. How well do I know my childrens friends ?
11. Am I on the same page with my wife, in providing
    values guidelines for our children ?
12. Have I Made a Difference in my childs life ?

15
Keep it Simple

• Children need our love, leadership and our limits
• Its our job to parent, coach and nurture our
  kids
• Keep your antenna up for Behavioral Changes. Find
  out whats going on. Check out TheAntiDrug.com
  21 things to know
• Give Clear Messages about Expectations
• Work as a Team (School, Friends, Church, Doctors,
  Coaches)
• Understand the opportunity we have to help shape
  our childrens futurethey need us
• Let them know we care about them their safety
• Guide Empower them to control themselves
• Someday they will appreciate your love and
  parenting
• We Need to Raise our Parenting Game to a new
  Level !

16
Get Started Today

• 1. Nurture help build their SpiritCompliment
  them often
• 2. Do something every week with themattend
  their events
• 3. Write your child a letter, share your
  feelings love for them
• 4. Appreciate that our children need to
  "Individuate
• 5. Read the book The 10 Best Gifts For My Teen
• 6. Make www.DadsForKids.org your homepage
• 7. Bring Best Practices into your home - Learn
  from others
• 8. Communicate with them. When we lecture we
  lose them
• 9. Understand the balancing of YES and NO to
  their requests
• 10.No one has all the answersListen to your
  spouse
• 11.Celebrate your life together. Trust Lovea
  winning combo !
• 12.Be the Best Parent Life Coach you can be !

17
What our Community Can Do For Teens ?

• Get Involved !
• Ask Questions
• Contact the PTA
• Attend Informative Meetings
• Care For Our Teens
• Support Our Towns Youth Leaders
• Dont serve Alcohol in Your Home to minors. Sign
  The Partnership Pledge !

• Join Forces !
• Share Successes Challenges with others
• Create ActivitiesMore Fun for Teens
• Do Good Things !
• Make a Difference !

18
The Bottom Line...

• We all need to keep doing our job, even when our
  child gets mad and calls us, The meanest parent
  in Town
• Todays Risks are REAL YOU can Make a
  Difference !
• We can create a legacy of family values
  traditions for our children their children.
• Coach them through the tough times and help them
  make better choices.create Strong Roots Wings
• Hug Love them ! Do special things with them.
• Nurture Guide our children to be their best !
• Know that Parent Power is unquestionably the most
  underestimated tool ! They are listening to us.
  So Keep Talking !
• Ask what values have I given my child ? Did I do
  my job ?
• We have only ONE OPPORTUNITY to be our best for
  our children.

19
Uncle Wallys supports our Associates efforts in
Serving Our Community!

• Associates Contributions
• Walk for Causes
• - March of Dimes
• - American Cancer Society
• - Juvenile Diabetes
• - Avon Breast Cancer Walk
• Religious Education for Kids
• Coach Kids Sports
• Family Liturgy Volunteers
• Support P.T.A Efforts
• Habitat for Humanity
• www.DadsForKids.org

• Company Sponsored
• MaryHaven Center
• Make-A-Wish Foundation
• American Cancer Society
• United Way
• American Diabetes Association
• Central Nassau Guidance Counseling Service, Inc
• Long Island Cares
• Food Bank Of New York
• Virginia Regional Minority Suppliers Development
  Council

• Pro-Literacy Worldwide
• Communities in Schools
• National Center of Family Literacy

• We support our partners concerns
• Adult and Children with Learning Disabilities
• Leukemia Society

. . . Making the World just a little bit better!