The Balanced Christian Life

1
The Balanced Christian Life

• By John Edmiston
• For Ummah, May 11th 2004

2
What Should Our Life Look Like?

• The Bible often speaks about the overall quality
  on our life and uses concepts such as a quiet
  life, a fruitful life , a blessed life and
  a life pleasing to God.
• Most of Jesus commandments concern the quality
  of our walk with God and how we treat others,
  rather than the sheer quantity of our ministry.
• This presentation will focus on our life as a
  whole unit not just our work life, but all of
  life.

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A Quiet Life

• (1 Thessalonians 411 NKJV) that you also aspire
  to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business,
  and to work with your own hands, as we commanded
  you,
• (1 Timothy 22 NKJV) (pray ) for kings and all
  who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet
  and peaceable life in all godliness and
  reverence.
• (1 Peter 34 NKJV) rather let it be the hidden
  person of the heart, with the incorruptible
  beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is
  very precious in the sight of God.

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Living The Quiet Life

• The quiet life is lived by still waters and
  green pastures, is organic, natural, quietly
  spiritual, wholesome and peaceful.
• The quiet life is not forced and strained and
  relies on growth from God over time.
• The quiet life is free from ego and
  self-promotion.
• The quiet life is godly and obedient and centered
  on relationships lived in love.
• The quiet Christian minds his own business and
  is not a gossip or busybody. ( 1 Thessalonians
  411)
• The quiet Christian is hardworking and productive.

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Production Or Fruit?

• Most people dont care that much about your
  numerical output .
• They do care about how you act and react.
• They do care about how you treat them.
• Are the spiritual fruit falling off the tree? Are
  patience, kindness, and gentleness, being ditched
  because you are in a hurry?
• If slowing down by 20 makes you 100 better in
  your relationships - then it is obviously worth
  it.

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The Love Factor

• The Christian faith is about loving God and
  neighbor.
• If we are so busy in ministry that we lose
  contact with God then we have FAILED in our duty
  of love as a Christian and need to repent
  immediately.
• If we are so busy in ministry that we are
  impatient, and rude, if we have few deep
  relationships, and if our family feels neglected
  and uncared for we have FAILED in our duty of
  love as a Christian and need to repent
  immediately.

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Love Is Better Than Ministry

• 1 Corinthians 131-3 MKJV (1) Though I speak
  with the tongues of men and of angels, and have
  not charity, I have become as sounding brass or a
  tinkling cymbal. (2) And though I have
  prophecies, and understand all mysteries and all
  knowledge and though I have all faith, so as to
  move mountains, and do not have charity, I am
  nothing. (3) And though I give out all my goods
  to feed the poor, and though I deliver my body to
  be burned, and have not charity, I am profited
  nothing.
• Ministry without love does not impress God! First
  of all we must LIVE IN LOVE, then we minister out
  of that love. Paul even stopped his ministry to
  go and find his good friend Titus. ( 2
  Corinthians 213)
• The balanced life is a LOVING life!

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Love Is Better Than Sacrifice

• There is a kind of sacrifice that is selfish
  and Pharisaical.
• It puts the spiritual ego of the Christian worker
  ahead of the needs of friends and family.
• It makes unnecessary sacrifices in order to
  appear spiritual. It can destroy the family and
  embitter the children against God.
• This is what Paul teaches against in 1
  Corinthians 131-3
• The balanced Christian life is caring and gentle
  and kind.

9
The Family

• The family is the first ministry priority for all
  Christians and must not be neglected for
  Christian work.
• 1 Timothy 58 MKJV But if anyone does not
  provide for his own, and especially his family,
  he has denied the faith and is worse than an
  infidel.
• Christian workers who refuse to provide for their
  families because the money is being used for
  ministry have denied the faith. Jesus also
  taught that family was more important than giving
  to God.
• Mark 710-13 MKJV For Moses said, "Honor your
  father and your mother." And, "Whoever curses
  father or mother, let him die the death." (11)
  But you say, If a man shall say to his father or
  mother, Corban! (that is, A gift to God, whatever
  you may profit by me) (12) and you no longer
  allow him to do anything toward his father or
  mother, (13) making the Word of God of no
  effect through your tradition which you have
  delivered. And you do many such things.

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The Christian Workers Call

• Our first and most fundamental call is to
  salvation, holiness and loving Christ-like living
  in Christian community.
• This call takes priority over our call to
  ministry.
• Our ministry call is not our God. We should slow
  down or even stop our ministry when love or
  holiness demands it.
• Our call / ministry goals are no excuse for
• Lies, financial dishonesty, stretching the truth,
  or scams.
• Harsh, hateful or divisive behavior.
• Treating our family and friends poorly.

11
Pressure From Others

• Christian workers often face a lot of pressure
  from well-meaning people to take on too much
  work.
• We need to let go of the need for human approval
  and to just rest in Gods approval of us in
  Christ.
• This is made much easier if we have a clear sense
  of priorities.

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Seven Priorities

1. God our relationship with God, holiness, faith
2. Health you are no use in ministry if you are
   dead.
3. Family our first ministry zone
4. Friends are you living in love in community?
5. Ministry using our gifts in love
6. Study sharpening the saw, growing in wisdom
7. Recreation enjoying Gods creation

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Living By Priorities

• The higher priorities are the most important.
  When there is a clash of priorities they must
  prevail. Faith is more important than health,
  family is more important than friends etc.
• Priorities do not indicate time allotment.
  Ministry may take up more time than friendship
  but if it takes up so much time that your friends
  are alienated from you, then you are out of
  balance.
• Priorities are over life as a whole. At certain
  times one may dominate e.g on holidays recreation
  may get the most time.

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There Is a Time For Everything.

• Ecclesiastes 31-11 MKJV (1) To every thing
  there is a season, and a time for every purpose
  under the heavens (2) a time to be born, and a
  time to die a time to plant, and a time to pull
  up what is planted (3) a time to kill, and a
  time to heal a time to break down, and a time to
  build up (4) a time to weep, and a time to
  laugh a time to mourn, and a time to dance (5)
  a time to throw away stones, and a time to
  gather stones together a time to embrace, and a
  time to refrain from embracing (6) a time to
  get, and a time to lose a time to keep, and a
  time to throw away (7) a time to tear, and a
  time to sew a time to keep silence, and a time
  to speak (8) a time to love, and a time to
  hate a time of war, and a time of peace. (9)
  What profit does he have who works in that in
  which he labors? (10) I have seen the task
  which God has given to the sons of men to be
  humbled by it. (11) He has made everything
  beautiful in His time also He has set eternity
  in their heart, so that no man can find out the
  work that God makes from the beginning to the
  end.

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Everything Beautiful In Its Time

• He has made everything beautiful in His time
  also He has set eternity in their heart, so that
  no man can find out the work that God makes from
  the beginning to the end.
• The balanced Christian life has times and
  seasons. There is a proper time to enter into
  ministry, start projects, go on holidays etc.
• These are often gentle natural rhythms of growth
  and harvest.
• Love and grace have their rhythms and God has His
  ways.
• Unbalanced Christians do things out of time and
  clatter about and are often inappropriate in
  their actions.
• We should not force our lives into a human
  timetable. Rather we need to listen to the Holy
  Spirit to sense Gods timing in all things.

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The Christian Life Is Easy!

• We should lead lives of gentle gracious love that
  produce the fruit of the Holy Spirit and which do
  the good deeds that He has prepared beforehand
  for us to do in the proper timing of God.
• This can sound very relaxed and it is!
• Mat 1128 Come to Me all you who labor and are
  heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My
  yoke on you and learn of Me, for I am meek and
  lowly in heart, and you shall find rest to your
  souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is
  light.
• 1 John 53 MKJV For this is the love of God,
  that we keep His commandments, and His
  commandments are not burdensome.

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However It Is Also Energetic!

• While the Christian life is not burdensome it is
  energetic and practical.
• There is a difference between relaxed and still
  in God and being asleep in the light.
• In Christ we cease hurrying and fretting and
  clattering about.
• Instead we work peacefully, diligently and
  purposefully in the Spirit to do the Lords work.

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Stress The Brain

• The brain is like a computer.
• Like a computer it can clog up and hang when
  its ability to process instructions becomes
  overloaded.
• Overload comes when what we are trying to do is
• Too much
• Too complex
• Or too urgent
• The decision about what we shall process and
  attend to is mainly made by the reticular
  formation.

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Selective Attention

• Say you are driving along listening to music.
• Then suddenly a child on a bicycle swerves in
  front of you.
• Your mind moves attention from the music to the
  impending accident.
• This switch in attention and processing is made
  very swiftly by the reticular formation.
• It decides that the bicycle is more urgent and
  more important.

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Overload

• If three bicycles , a tractor and a deep ditch
  suddenly appear you cannot cope with them all at
  once.
• Your mind is overloaded and may either freeze up,
  or panic and make a rash choice.
• We can only cope with so much before we run out
  of processing space and feel clogged up and
  anxious.
• Taking on too much or taking on things that are
  too complex places us under stress.

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Stress Breakdown Stage 1

• Firstly our system fires warning bells about the
  overload we are experiencing and we feel stressed
  and anxious and uptight and tense.
• These uncomfortable feelings are trying to tell
  us that we are doing too much and it would be a
  good idea if we slowed down.
• They are saying You are driving yourself too
  fast, back off.
• Many people ignore these warning signals, they
  like driving fast, living on adrenalin and they
  have an image of wanting to do more than others.
  So they suppress the anxiety by an act of will
  and keep going.

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Stress Breakdown Stage 2

• In stage two the person loses control of
  emotions and finds themselves getting angry or
  upset very easily. They can cry one minute and
  laugh the next. These sudden emotional changes
  are termed emotional lability.
• The person in stage two stress breakdown also
  lose their ability to adjust to change and to
  motivate themselves to get started though once
  they have started they can work as hard as anyone
  else.
• The system is beginning to crumble at this point
  and the person becomes subject to psychosomatic
  disorders as the body tries to slow the person
  down. These include migraines, headaches, asthma,
  dermatitis and hay fever.
• The immune system suffers and resistance bacteria
  and viruses already present in the persons body
  may be able to cause disease. These include
  common infections such as colds and flu, herpes
  virus infections, mouth ulcers, lobar pneumonia,
  boils and pimples, tonsillitis and urinary tract
  infections.

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Stress Breakdown Stage 3

• 1. Avoidance of sensory stimulation
• 2. Development of intolerance, and
• 3. Apparent change in personality.
• The brains circuit breakers have cut in.
  Everything is being rapidly simplified to reduce
  the number of issues the person has to deal with.
  
• In order to avoid sensory stimulation the person
  may retreat to the countryside, separate from
  their partner, stop having sex, avoid loud music
  and stop going to shopping centers. Sounds will
  seem too loud, ice too cold, lights too bright.
  They will switch off the radio when others turn
  it on. They will go outside and walk around and
  just space out.

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Intolerance

• Development of intolerance is a mechanism for
  making life easy to classify, so the reticular
  formation can deal with the backlog. If the
  shades of grey and complex questions can be
  eliminated life becomes simple and things can be
  processed again.
• If everything can be reduced to the binary states
  the brain is most comfortable processing, then it
  can whiz through the decisions. As the decisions
  are made the clogged up feeling goes and some of
  the stress can be removed.
• In third stage stress breakdown people become
  totally intolerant of small things If you leave
  your shaving hairs in the sink I will leave you.
  Just a small thing, that was previously tolerated
  or laughed at, becomes a major drama. Things
  previously tolerated become unable to be
  tolerated in third stage stress breakdown.

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Change In Personality

• Lastly the person in third stage stress breakdown
  may have an apparent change in personality and
  change their values. They may be unable to resist
  cult recruiters, they are easily brainwashed,
  they have sudden changes in beliefs and ideas and
  attitudes that required some will or effort to
  maintain are likely to be abandoned.
• Some talk of a strange feeling of peace and
  purity that comes with this process as everything
  gets radically simplified.
• There is also a loss of the law of strength.
  Normally a slight tap on the knee elicits a
  slight movement and a large tap on the knee a
  large movement. The law that a small stimulus
  generally elicits a small response and a large
  stimulus a large response is known as the law of
  strength and is a sign of a normal functioning
  of the nervous system.
• In third stage stress breakdown the person
  ignores the electricity bill and major
  responsibilities while becoming preoccupied with
  trivia. When the electricity is cut off nobody in
  the house can understand why the bill was not
  paid. All the aspects of the personality change
  can be attributed to the person avoiding
  complexity in their life.

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Getting Rid Of Stress

• 1. Am I trying to do too much?
• 2. Is what I am doing too complicated?
• 3. Is what I am doing too urgent? Am I trying to
  do too many things in too short a space of time?
• 4. I what I am doing too important. Am I
  telling myself that virtually everything is
  important?

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Inner Language Self-Talk

• Words such as should, must ought , have
  to, got to create the feeling that the task is
  compulsory, urgent or important.
• If you have got to do everything and have to
  do it right now you soon feel overloaded.
• You are telling your brain that EVERYTHING is
  important so it cannot prioritize inputs
  properly.
• Eliminate should, must and have to or use
  them very sparingly.
• Speak to yourself in calm, controlled, positive ,
  gentle terms.
• List tasks in event order, not time order.
• Time deadlines create inner pressure, event order
  is more natural and relaxing.
• I will do X after lunch is more relaxing than
  I must do X before 2 oclock

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Driving Forces Control Ambition

• Some people become stressed out and ill pursuing
  unrealistic inner drives and ambitions.
• Others strive to control everyone everything.
  This means they must attend to many things
  simultaneously - which is very stressful.
• Some have a strong urge to please others that
  makes them take on too much work.
• Trying to reach an imaginary top level quickly
  can create a stressful urgency in every action.
• Other people imagine they are responsible for a
  large number of people or even the whole world.

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Moving From Stress To Peace

• Use To-Do lists. Write down what you should be
  dong so it is clear to you.
• Schedule tasks - then live one day at a time.
• Have clear and conscious priorities.
• Cease making everything important.
• Delay some seemingly urgent tasks
• Delegate simple jobs that take up brain-space.
• Ditch trivial and unnecessary tasks and
  decisions.
• Cut down on sensory overload.
• Simplify life and keep it simple.
• Develop a clear sense of order. Avoid clutter.
• Do not crash diet or expose your body to
  extreme physiological stress.

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The Peace That Surpasses.

• (Romans 85-6 NKJV) 5 For those who live
  according to the flesh set their minds on the
  things of the flesh, but those who live according
  to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6 For
  to be carnally minded is death, but to be
  spiritually minded is life and peace.
• (Philippians 46-7 NKJV) Be anxious for nothing,
  but in everything by prayer and supplication,
  with thanksgiving, let your requests be made
  known to God 7 and the peace of God, which
  surpasses all understanding, will guard your
  hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

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Summary

• Set your mind on the Spirit and pray often.
• Live in love of God and neighbor.
• Live a quiet and fruitful life let love, joy,
  peace and patience, kindness etc naturally flow
  from you.
• Fruit matters more than results. Slow down if you
  are becoming stressed, grumpy, impatient and
  unkind.
• Seek Gods timing and rhythm to your life.
• Care for your family and have clear priorities.
• Live simply and in an uncomplicated way.
• Put aside oughts and compulsions.
• Stop trying to please other people.
• Delay, delegate or ditch some tasks.