How to Communicate Effectively with Families of Individuals with Exceptional Needs from Diverse Back

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How to Communicate Effectively with
Families of Individuals with Exceptional Needs
from Diverse BackgroundsBYSIDI M. LAKHDAR,
Ed.DPROGRAM PROFESSOR OF EXCEPTIONAL STUDENT
EDUCATIONFISHLER SCHOOL OF EDUCATION AND HUMAN
SERVICESNOVA SOUTHEASTERN UNIVERSITYNORTH MIAMI
BEACH, FLORIDA USA
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A child is Born
A newborn child is often a welcome
addition into the family and is always a cause
for celebration. The parents take pride and joy
in watching their child take its first steps and
say its first words.
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But what if the baby has a disability? Does the
family feel any less proud of their baby?
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Their first questionWhat is wrong with our
baby?
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Parents describe a sense of unreality, shock, and
disbelief when they discover that they have a
child with a disability.These feelings often
changes to anger and frustration. This is
sometimes displaced and externalized to the
spouse, to siblings, and to members of the
extended family. Some parents turn their anger
inward and blame themselves for the childs
disability.
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Steps that parent go through whenthey
discover that they have a child with a
disability 1. A period of emotional crisis,
characterized by feelings of shock, denial,
and disbelief. 2. A period of emotional
disorganization, characterized by
feelings of anger, guilt, depression, shame,
lower self-esteem,
rejection of the child, and over-
protectiveness. this 3. Acceptance,
characterized by the parents' acceptance of
the child's disability and acceptance of
the child.
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Acceptance?Accepting the child for who he is
and where he is allows the family and all of
its members to move forward in their own growth
and development
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The Rights of every Jamaican Child

• 1. The right to security
• 2. The right to full integration
• 3. The right to equal opportunity
• 4. The right to privacy
• 5. The right to be heard
• 6. The right to education and information
• 7. The right to life
• 8. The right to health
• 9. The right to be served
• 10. The right to be free from violence and abuse
• Source The Jamaican Association on Mental
  Retardation Annual Report 2007,
• p73

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Related ServicesTransportation Speech-language
pathology Audiology services Psychological
services Physical therapy Occupational therapy
Recreation (including therapeutic recreation)
Early identification and assessment of
disabilities in children Counseling services
(including rehabilitation counseling)
Orientation mobility services Medical
services for diagnostic or evaluation purposes
School health services Social work services in
schools Parent counseling training
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• Ways that parents can support their child's
  learning and maintain a good working relationship
  with school professionals
• Let your child's teacher(s) know that you want to
  be involved in your child's educational program.
  Make time to talk with the teacher(s) and, if
  possible, visit the classroom.
• Explain any special equipment, medication, or
  medical problem your child has.
• 3. Let the teacher(s) know about any activities
  or big events that may influence your child's
  performance in school.
• 4. Ask that samples of your child's work be sent
  home. If you have questions, make an appointment
  with the teacher(s) to talk about new ways to
  meet your child's goals.
• 5. Ask the teacher(s) how you can build upon your
  child's school activities at home.
• 6. Give your child chores at home. Encourage
  behavior that leads to success in school, such as
  accepting responsibility, behaving, being
  organized, and being on time.
• Volunteer to help in the classroom or school.
  This will let you see how things work in the
  school and how your child interacts with others.
  It will also help the school.
• 8. Remember that you and the school want success
  for your child. Working together can make this
  happen.

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What Are the Responsibilities of the Parents of
Children with Disabilities? -Develop a
partnership with the school or agency. -Ask for
clarification of any aspect of the program that
is unclear to you. -Make sure you understand
your childs program . -Consider how your child
might be included in the regular school
activities program. -Monitor your child's
progress. -Discuss with the school or agency
any problems that may occur with your child's
assessment, placement, or educational program.
-Keep records. -Join a parent organization.

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Understanding About families

• Families vary in membership
• Each family fulfills certain functions in unique
  ways
• Families vary in needs and resources
• Families define events in different ways

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Who are todays families

• Families consist of two or more people who regard
  themselves to be a family and carry out the
  functions that families typically perform.
• As contrasted with families of children without
  disabilities, families of children with
  exceptionality is have a higher rates of poverty
  and lower educational levels
• Two characteristics contributing to the
  likelihood of families experiencing poverty are
  the presence of children who have a disability
  and single-family parent as head of household

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The five domains of family quality of life

• Emotional well-being students often do not have
  friendships, and their families , sometimes feel
  isolated.
• Parenting parents benefit when professionals
  show them how to support their children to become
  more independent.
• Family interaction siblings of children and
  youth of children with disabilities typically
  experience both positive and negative impacts
  from their experiences.
• physical/material well-being families who
  experience poverty often need additional supports
  in order to be able to attend school conferences
  usand school activities
• Disability-related supports professionals can
  positively contribute to families by ensuring
  that the services that they offer are high
  quality.
• Source Turnbull, A., Turnbull, R., Wehmeyer,
  M. L. Exceptional lives Special education in
  todays schools. Upper
• Saddle
  River New Jersey. Pearson Publishing

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The Seven partnership principles

• Communication
• Professional competence
• Respect
• Commitment
• Equality
• Advocacy
• Trust

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Task Identify problems inherent in the
interactions below. Then suggest what could and
should have been said differently by the teacher
in scene A.

• Scene A
• Parent What is this about suspending my child
  from your class for three days? I thought you
  people were supposed to be teaching kids instead
  of letting them sit and waste time in the
  principals office.
• Teacher You are being unreasonable. You dont
  understand our rules and neither does your child.
  Your child needs to learn some manners and
  plain, old-fashioned respect.
• Source Dettmer, P, Thurston, L. P., Dyck, N.
  J. (2005) .Consultation, collaboration, and team
  work
• for students
  with special needs (5th ed.). Boston Pearson
  Education Inc.

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Task Identify problems inherent in the
interactions below. Then suggest what could and
should have been said differently by the parents
in scene B.

• Scene B
• Teacher Im calling to tell you that your son
  caused a disturbance again in my class. I would
  like you to meet with me and his counselor.
• Parent Hes always been an active kid. Cant
  you people learn to handle active, curious
  children without always dragging us parents into
  it?
• Source Dettmer, P, Thurston, L. P., Dyck, N.
  J. (2005) .Consultation, collaboration, and team
  work
• for students
  with special needs (5th ed.). Boston Pearson
  Education Inc.

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Task Identify problems inherent in the
interactions below. Then suggest what could and
should have been said differently by the
consultant scene C

• Scene C
• Parent how can I get Bobby to settle down and do
  his homework without a battle every night? It
  is driving us crazy.
• Consultant Im glad youre concerned, but I
  think he will be okay if you just keep on him.
  Dont worry, he is a bright kid and he will snap
  out of this phase soon. Just be glad your other
  three arent dreamers like he is.
• Source Dettmer, P, Thurston, L. P., Dyck, N.
  J. (2005) .Consultation, collaboration, and team
  work
• for students
  with special needs (5th ed.). Boston Pearson
  Education Inc.

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Tips for home and school collaboration

• Establish rapport with families early in the
  year. Call right away, before problems develop,
  so that the First Family contact is a positive
  one.
• When sharing information with families,
  sandwich any necessary comments about problems
  or deficits between two very positive ones.
• during interaction with families, notice how your
  actions are received, and adapt to that.
• Send out monthly newsletters describing the kinds
  of things the class is doing.
• encourage volunteering in the classroom to read
  stories, help with the art lessons, listen to
  book reports, or give a lesson on an area of
  expertise such as a job or hobby.
• Source Dettmer, P, Thurston, L. P.,
  Dyck, N. J. (2005) .Consultation,
  collaboration, and team work for students with
  
• special needs
  (5th ed.). Boston Pearson Education Inc.

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Tips for communicating effectively with Parents

• Avoid the communication roadblocks. Research
  shows that positively worded statements are
  one-third easier to understand and negative ones.
• 2. listen. This helps to dissipate negative
  emotional responses and often helps the other
  person articulate the problem, perhaps finding a
  solution then and there.
• Use assertion. Say what you feel and what your
  goals are
• Be aware of your hot buttons. Knowing your own
  responses to certain trigger behaviors and words
  would help you control natural tendencies to
  argue, get defensive, or simply turn red and
  sputter.
• Attend to nonverbal language , as well as to
  verbal language . When communicating
• Dont your bucket of frustration on to the other
  person. Avoid pouring out to anger and
  frustration on others.
• Deal with the present. Keep to the issue of the
  current problem rather than past problems,
  failures, or personality conflicts.
• Source Dettmer, P, Thurston, L. P., Dyck, N.
  J. (2005) .Consultation, collaboration, and team
  work
• for students
  with special needs (5th ed.). Boston Pearson
  Education Inc.

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Working Together with Families and Students

• Be aware of tone and body language.
• Be honest and specific
• Give ones point o view as information, not the
  absolute truth.
• Be direct about what is wanted and expected.
• Do not monopolize the conversation
• Listen as much as talk
• D not assume your message is clear
• Stay way from educational or psychological jargon
• Attack the problem, not the parent.
• Focus on positive or informational aspects of the
  problem.
• Have five positive contacts for every negative
  one
• Always be honest do not soft-pedal reality
• Source Dettmer, P, Thurston, L. P., Dyck, N.
  J. (2005) .Consultation, collaboration, and team
  work
• for students
  with special needs (5th ed.). Boston Pearson
  Education Inc.

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