Practical Parenting in the Real World: A Workshop for Parents Presented by Ann Douglas

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Practical Parenting in the Real World A
Workshop for ParentsPresented by Ann Douglas
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Introduction

• Why practical parenting in the real world?
• A quick snapshot of what we're going to be
  talking about

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Part 1 The Truth About Parenting

• Parenting is both the most challenging and the
  most wonderful job on the planet. Here are ten
  things nobody tells you about becoming a parent,
  but that you definitely need to know.
• There's no job description for the job of parent.
• There's no such thing as "the perfect age" when
  it comes to kids. Each age has its unique joys
  and challenges.

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• Nothing about parenting happens in a predictable,
  linear fashion.
• The experts dont have all the answers.
• Parenting in the real world is a whole lot
  messier than parenting on TV.
• Parenthood is a long-term project.
• Parenting can be brutal on your self-esteem.

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• Kids force you to confront any stuff you may
  have tried to bury underneath the carpet.
• Nothing can prepare you for the depth of love
  that you feel for your child.
• The physical demands of parenthood are the easy
  part. Its the emotional demands that can
  practically sink you.

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Part 2 Family Sleep Solutions

• Try to get your newborn to bed when he is sleepy
  but not overtired.
• Work withnot againstyour childs basic biology.
  
• Use the power of daylight to reset your childs
  sleep-wake clock.

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• Work with your child's basic sleep-wake cycle
  when scheduling naps, timing bedtime, etc. (Learn
  what's age-appropriate so you can decide if your
  child could use some help getting his/her sleep
  patterns on track.)

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• Provide your newborn with a sleep environment
  that is sleep enhancing, not sleep inhibiting.
  Make sure your newborns sleep environment is
  safe, too.
• Start thinking about how youre gradually going
  to teach your baby self-soothing skills. (You
  want to start teaching your baby these skills by
  the time he is three- to four-months of agethe
  time when babies are capable of starting to learn
  about sleep associations.)

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• Think about how youre going to ease your newborn
  into a more regular sleep and nap schedule. (Pay
  attention to his evolving sleep-wake rhythms and
  youll start to see patterns start to emerge.)
• Avoid highly stimulating forms of activity right
  before bedtime or your child may be too wound up
  to go to sleep. Being physically active after
  dinner is fine (in fact, it's a great idea!), but
  having a family pillow fight five minutes before
  tuck-in time may make it difficult for your kids
  to settle down to sleep.

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• Dont forget to practice good sleep habits (dont
  overdo it with the caffeine or the alcohol,
  particularly close to bedtime and make sure
  youre getting enough physical activity to be
  physically tired at the end of the day) and make
  sleep a priority for yourself, too.
• Think about what other steps you could take to be
  a better rested parent, even if your child is not
  yet sleeping through the night.

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The No-Guilt Guide to Sleep Solutions

• Understand that theres no one-size-fits-all
  sleep solution. Your job as a parent is to find
  the solution that's best for your family. When
  choosing between your various sleep-training
  options, you'll want to consider
• the age and stage of your child,
• your child's temperament,
• any special circumstances concerning your child,
• your parenting style,
• the day-to-day realities of your family's
  situation.

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• Recognize that deciding to leave things as they
  are for now (to see if your baby's sleep system
  simply needs to mature or your toddler is simply
  dealing with a temporary sleep challenge) is a
  valid sleep choice. Sleep issues aren't always
  "problems" that have to be "managed" by parents.
• Consistency is key, but, flexibility is also
  important. (Yes, there are ways to have it both
  ways.)

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• When considering the right time to start sleep
  training (if, in fact, you're going to choose a
  sleep training method) decide if you are dealing
  with
• a sleep concern (you're feeling worn down),
• a sleep problem (you feel a sense of urgency to
  resolve the problem, for the same of yours and
  your childs well-being) or
• a sleep emergency (you've reached the crisis
  point and things need to change right away).
• Do some research on the subject of sleep and
  sleep-training. Make sure that whatever method
  you decide on is in synch with your parenting
  philosophies and feels like something you could
  commit to.

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• You and your partner need to be on the same page
  when it comes to implementing your chosen sleep
  plan. Discuss your various options thoroughly
  until you can find some comfortable middle
  ground.
• Line up some support if you're feeling completely
  exhausted. You can't function at your best when
  you're perpetually running on empty. So don't be
  afraid to give yourself a (sleep) timeout.

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Part 3 Mealtime Solutions The Basic Recipe
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Parent-child struggles about food

• Where the worries come from
• My child isn't eating enough
• My child isn't eating the right foods
• My child has (or could develop) a weight problem
• Managing the worry
• Daily intake vs. consumption over a longer period
• Easy ways of keeping track of what your child is
  eating

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• My child isn't eating enough
• My child isn't eating the right foods
• My child has (or could develop) a weight problem
• Daily intake vs. consumption over a longer period
• Easy ways of keeping track of what your child is
  eating

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• Expect the unexpected Growth spurts, illnesses,
  food jags, etc.
• The parent's role and the child's role other
  people who can help
• Avoiding mealtime monotony and meltdowns
• Adding more meal ideas to your menu rotation
• Adding more "chefs" to your roster
• Reducing the most common sources of mealtime
  stress (for parents and kids)

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What's on the menu anyway?
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An ages-and-stages mealtime worries
trouble-shooting guide
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Baby feeding-related worries and concerns
practical tips and advice

• Baby feeding-related worries and concerns
  practical tips and advice
• When should I start solids?
• What food(s) should I offer first?
• Should I let my baby play with her food?

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Toddler feeding-related worries and concerns
practical tips and advice

• My toddler hardly eats anything at all.
• My toddler only wants to eat grilled cheese
  sandwiches.
• My toddler wants ice cream for breakfast.

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Preschooler feeding-related worries and concerns

• My child is constantly changing his mind about
  what he wants for dinner.
• My child doesn't want to stay at the dinner table
  once he's finished eating.

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Mealtime madness ways to minimize the chaos and
the battles

• It's official! We're stuck in a convenience food
  rut....
• We never seem to manage to eat dinner as a
  family.
• Restaurant survival strategies when to go, where
  to go, what to do when you arrive, and what to
  pack in your restaurant survival kit

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• There's no one-size-fits-all solution to any
  parenting challenge
• Do your research.
• Tap into your community.
• Trust your instincts and intuition and make the
  decision that's right for your family.
• THE MOTHER OF ALL approach

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Part 4 Discipline Techniques that Work for
Parents and for Kids

• Prevent the problem from occurring in the first
  place.
• Find creative alternatives to saying no.
• Give your child the opportunity make choices.
• Allow your child to experience the natural or
  logical consequences of her actions.
• Take away a privilege.

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• Master the art of selective ignoring.
• Offer a distraction.
• Apply positive reinforcement.
• Discipline your child verbally.
• Offer a timeout or otherwise remove your child
  from a difficult situation.

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Part 5 The parenting toolkit strategies for
finding the support you need to be an effective
parent

• Put together your own parenting support
  networkpeople you can exchange ideas and
  experiences with and turn to for support on those
  inevitable bad days. It may be a mix of local and
  far away friends/relatives real-world and online
  people you know.

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• Take parenting courses, read parenting books,
  visit parenting websites, and figure out what
  works best for you and your child.
• Find out about programs, services, and other
  resources available to parents in your community.

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• Take regular breaks from the day-to-day demands
  of being a parent. Remember, parenting was meant
  to be a team sport!
• Don't get caught up in the sport of competitive
  parentingand teach your kids not to buy into the
  "more is better" mentality. Teach them to value
  what really matters people, not stuff.

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The Secrets of Effective Parenting What Calm
and Confident Parents Know

• Calm and confident parents....
• know how to manage the stress that goes along
  with being a parent.
• have the ability to keep things in perspectiveto
  see the big picture and not get too hung up on
  the small stuff.

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• understand that every stage of childhood and
  adolescence is a limited time offer.
• are information junkies. They cant learn enough
  about parenting.
• are highly resourceful.
• are wise enough not to demand perfection of
  themselves or their kids.
• see parenting as an adventurea journey not to be
  missed.