Cross-Faculty Seminar for DP14 applicants (100 word summary and key words) How to get (or lose) the assessor

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Cross-Faculty Seminar for DP14 applicants (100
word summary and key words) How to get (or
lose) the assessors attention in the first 2
minutes
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How to get (or lose) the assessors attention in
the first 2 minutes

• This is not a joke.
• Most assessors are reading 10 - 20 proposals.
  Many will be outside their direct expertise.
  Rapid culling is essential..which pile will
  yours be in?
• High levels of boredom and exasperation are known
  to occur
• First point is a clear, if not catchy, title
  like the one above.
• Second is a 100-word summary that clearly and
  concisely explains --
• What the problem is
• Why it is important
• How you will approach a solution
• What the outcomes will be
• Why this is a GOOD THING for the world

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Example 1 Biology
Title Mosaic Lateralization 
Keywords LATERALIZATION, EVOLUTION, COMPARATIVE
COGNITION
Hemispheric lateralization is an integral and
ubiquitous feature of human and animal brains.
Despite its ubiquity, we lack a thorough
understanding of the ultimate consequences of
brain asymmetry. Recent evidence challenges the
traditional view that lateralization shows a
highly conserved pattern across all vertebrates.
We develop a new framework, mosaic
lateralization, which allows for species and
task specific analysis of the costs/benefits of
lateralization. By applying this approach to a
range of behavioural contexts in birds and
humans, we will identify the fitness consequences
of specific lateralities and thereby gain a
greater understanding of laterality evolution in
vertebrates. What is this about? What really
is going to be done? Why is this important?
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Example 1 100-word summary
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Example 1 Suggestion for 100 word summary
Possible improvement (from non-biologist) (725
characters)
All human and animal brains show hemispheric
lateralization the XXXX of brain functions
but we do not understand its origins or
evolutionary significance. Recent evidence from
XXXX challenges the traditional view that
lateralization has similar patterns of XXXX
across all vertebrates. We will carry out
experiments on XXXX to test a new conceptual
framework, Mosaic Lateralization, which proposes
XXXX (define the idea). If this model is
correct, it will a more precise analysis of the
costs/benefits of lateralization. XXX (types of
data or experiments) on/from humans and birds
will identify the fitness consequences of
specific types of laterality, and give us a
better understanding of how laterality has
evolved in vertebrates.
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Example 1 Suggestions for keywords and title
Comments not really suggestions, since I dont
understand..
Original
LATERALIZATION, (of what?) EVOLUTION (includes
everything) COMPARATIVE COGNITION (cognition
not mentioned in text
Meaningless outside the fraternity? Does not
convey engagement, excitement, or any broader
context How did our brains evolve? A new model
based on mosaic lateralization (still jargon)
Mosaic Lateralization ? 
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Example 2 Psychology? Computing?
Keywords TRAINING SIMULATIONS, VIRTUAL REALITY,
EMERGENCY MANAGEMENT
Title i-Train A Scenario Engine for Training
First Responders
Our aim is to investigate scenario engineering in
training simulations to enhance learning outcomes
in critical decision making for emergency
management. The expected outcome is a novel
framework for a scenario engine (i-Train), to be
used in training first responders, collecting
psycho-physiological feedback from its users. NSW
emergency responders suffer from a lack of, or
ineffective, training because resources have been
focused elsewhere. We propose to deliver cost
effective programs across a widely spread
workforce, working a variety of different rosters
in emergency services. Traditional face to face
methods, are cost prohibitive in most contexts
and some essential training is simply not
delivered in a timely or appropriate manner.
Good example of upside-down structure. Pompous
language. Not clear what will be done, or how.
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Example 2 Comments
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Example 2 Possible improvement (from non-expert)
(760 characters)
NSW emergency-response personnel are not getting
essential training in critical decision making
for management of emergency situations, partly
because traditional face-to-face training methods
are usually too expensive. We aim to deliver new,
cost-effective programs that can reach across a
widely-spread workforce, working a variety of
different rosters. We will use scenario
engineering the use of XXXX to develop
i-Train, a novel framework for simulated
scenarios that can be used in training first
responders and will collect psycho-physiological
feedback (what is this??) from its users to XXXX
(purpose of doing this). This will give
first-response personnel a significantly higher
level of preparedness and efficiency in managing
emergency situations of all types. (emphasise
community benefit -- in short simple words..)
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Example 2 Comments on title, keywords
i-Train A Scenario Engine for Training First
Responders Jargon in the title not
good ITrain Using virtual reality to train
emergency personnel This at least mentions one
of the proposed keywords
Keywords TRAINING SIMULATIONS VIRTUAL REALITY
(not mentioned in text) EMERGENCY MANAGEMENT
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Example 3 Physics?
Title Terahertz technology for next generation
communication and sensing systems
Keywords TERAHERTZ TECHNOLOGY, TERAHERTZ
APPLICATIONS, TERAHERTZ PHOTONICS
The aim of this project is to develop new and
enabling terahertz technologies and to
demonstrate their application in novel
communication and sensing systems. The project is
significant because of the fundamental advances
it will drive in terahertz technology, and the
impact of those advances in practice, e.g. on
ultrabroadband wireless communications and
sensing. The team of three outstanding
investigators, including two world-leading
European researchers, will ensure groundbreaking
project outcomes, including novel terahertz
sources new terahertz signal processing devices
(e.g. couplers and filters) and new techniques
for modulation and transmission of ultrabroadband
signals in practical terahertz communication and
sensing systems.
Typical of an indicative summary does not
actually define the problem, or what actually
will be done. This one also assumes that because
they are important, and they say it is REALLY
SIGNIFICANT, thats enough. Some proposals from
ANU, after they joined the ARC program, sounded
like this (and failed).
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Example 3 Comments on the 100-word summary
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Example 3 Suggested revision (720 characters)
I am too ignorant to rewrite this, but here are
some suggestions--- Introductory sentence
explaining what Terahertz means, how it is
different from what we have now what is the
problem with present technology? Second sentence
describing what actually will be done in the
project is this software development, hardware
development, theory, or what? The outcomes will
drive fundamental advances in terahertz
technology, and these will impact in practice on
ultrabroadband wireless communications and
sensing. Groundbreaking project outcomes will
include novel terahertz sources new terahertz
signal processing devices (e.g. couplers and
filters) and new techniques for modulation and
transmission of ultrabroadband signals in
practical terahertz communication and sensing
systems.
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Example 4 Earth Sciences A successful proposal
(2012 round)
SUCCESSFUL DP12 SUCCESSFUL DP12 SUCCESSFUL DP12 SUCCESSFUL DP12
Project Name 100 word summary (750 characters) Media release 50 words (350 characters) Key words
What lies beneath Unveiling the ?ne-scale 3D compositional and thermal structure of the subcontinental lithosphere and upper mantle Characterising the compositional and thermal structure of the lithosphere and upper mantle is one of the most important goals of Geoscience. Yet, a method capable of providing robust estimates of these two ?elds in 3D has still not been achieved. This limitation is the focus of this project, which will develop the ?rst full 3D method that integrates multiple geophysical and petrological datasets. We will apply our methodology to image the ?ne-scale thermochemical structure of the lithosphere beneath Australia, South Africa, and western USA. This project will not only help us understand the evolution of continental lithosphere but its outcomes will be translatable into predictive exploration methods for Australia's Deep Earth Resources We will produce the ?rst high-resolution images of the thermal and mineralogical structure of the Earth's mantle beneath Australia, western USA, and South Africa. This information represents the key to our understanding of society-relevant activities such as ore and energy exploration and natural hazard 1 Lithosphere architecture 2 Mantle composition 3 Geophysical methods 4. Lithospheric modelling
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Example 4 A catchy, but informative, title
Project Name
What lies beneath Unveiling the ?ne-scale 3D compositional and thermal structure of the subcontinental lithosphere and upper mantle

• Title Note catchy start, then more details
  says exactly what the aim is, but with a hint of
  excitement (e.g. unveiling)

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Example 4 100-word summary
100 word summary (750 characters)
Characterising the compositional and thermal structure of the lithosphere and upper mantle is one of the most important goals of Geoscience. However, a method capable of providing robust estimates of these two ?elds in 3D has still not been achieved. This limitation is the focus of this project, which will develop the ?rst full 3D method that integrates multiple geophysical and petrological datasets. We will apply our methodology to image the ?ne-scale thermochemical structure of the lithosphere beneath Australia, South Africa, and western USA. This project will not only help us understand the evolution of continental lithosphere but its outcomes will be translatable into predictive exploration methods for Australia's Deep Earth Resources.

• Sentence 1 What is the aim and why is it
  important?
• Sentence 2 Why do we need to do more research?
• Sentences 3-4 What we will do and how we will
  do it note indication of novel approaches
• Sentence 5 Expected outcomes and why it is a
  Good Thing

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Example 4
Media release 50 words (350 characters)
We will produce the ?rst high-resolution images of the thermal and mineralogical structure of the Earth's mantle beneath Australia, western USA, and South Africa. This information represents the key to our understanding of society-relevant activities such as ore and energy exploration and natural hazard

• Media Release What we will do, and how it will
  benefit society

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Example 4 Keywords
Key words
1 Lithosphere architecture 2 Mantle composition 3 Geophysical methods 4. Lithospheric modelling
Key Words Simple (at least to any Earth
scientist), and mostly repeated in the title
and/or summary
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Lessons - 1

• Lessons 100-word summary (and media release)
  see Proposal 4
•  
• 1. First line(s) What is the problem and why is
  it important?
•  
• 2. Next What will you do to solve it?
  Approach, methods. Must be simple but direct.
  If possible, stress novelty or innovation aspects
  of your approach.
•  
• 3. Finally What will the concrete results be,
  how will they solve the problem, and how will
  they benefit science and/or society (or some
  other grouping)
•  
• 4. Dont leave the referee with questions like
  the ones I have highlighted in yellow in examples
  above.

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Lessons - 2

• Thoughts on Titles
•  
• 1. Try to convey the problem, and some
  excitement, already in the title
• 2. Keep it short and direct
• 3. See Proposal 4 something catchy, then
  real info

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Lessons - 3

• Other advice
• Avoid jargon (i.e. words a non-expert will not
  know at all) (or explain it)
• Use straightforward declarative sentences, with
  no unnecessary adjectives or hype. Try to avoid
  passive ones (It will be shown that)
• Avoid using nouns (especially strings of them) as
  adjectives/adverbs, and use hyphens to connect
  adjective-nouns if they cant be avoided
• (e.g. gaseous mercury air surface exchange ?
  air-surface exchange of gaseous Hg).
• Check for consistency between title, summary and
  keywords. Dont have a new idea suddenly
  appearing in the keywords

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Finally Good Luck, and Keep Trying!
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100 Word Summaries

• Professor Catriona Mackenzie
• Faculty of Arts
• catriona.mackenzie_at_mq.edu.au

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Why are 100 word summaries and key words
important?

• 3 reasons
• Because both 100 word summaries and keywords play
  an important role in the selection of college and
  external assessors from the ARC Database.
• Because external assessors will decide whether or
  not they want to assess your application on the
  basis of the 100 word summary.
• Because the quality of the 100 word summary can
  have a positive or negative impact on the
  assessors attitude towards your application.

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Some general points

• Aim for clarity and accessibility
• Make sure that what you write is accessible to
  someone who is intelligent and open-minded, but
  not an expert in your field.
• Keep it simple
• Sentences should be short, simple, and succinct.
• Make it engaging
• Aim to give reviewers a sense of why your project
  is interesting and important.

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Some general points

• Avoid jargon, rhetoric and vagueness
• Jargon and rhetoric are more likely to annoy than
  impress
• Include all the logical steps
• Dont assume that reviewers share your
  presuppositions or theoretical assumptions.
• Dont mystify the reviewers
• Reviewers should be able to understand
  immediately what you propose to do and why it is
  important

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Most importantly

• Write multiple drafts and ensure that they are
  read by several colleagues, including colleagues
  outside your discipline.

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Example 1 Original

• Title Legal Regimes for the Conservation and
  Management of Sharks Integrating National,
  Regional and International Strategies
• 100 Word Summary
• Sharks are critical to the marine ecosystem, yet
  many shark species have been decimated. This
  project aims to improve shark conservation and
  management in Australia and internationally by
  exploring legal initiatives at national, regional
  and international levels of government, focusing
  on how they inter-relate, and formulating the
  correct mix of regulatory tools. These legal
  strategies are a critical element to shark
  protection and will have broader resonance for
  ocean governance. The outcomes include advancing
  scholarly understanding of marine governance, and
  the intersection of national, regional and
  international laws, as well as providing targeted
  advice for policy-makers, scientists,
  conservation organisations and other
  stakeholders.
• 50 Word Summary
• The purpose of the project is to improve shark
  conservation and management at the national,
  regional and international levels of government,
  as well as inform ocean governance debates.
  Coherent and comprehensive legal strategies will
  be devised and will complement efforts of
  stakeholders in the sustainable management of
  sharks and their habitats.
• Keywords Field of Research FOR
  Codes/percentage
• 1 sharks 1 Environmental and Natural Resources
  Law/60
• 2 conservation 2 International Law (excl.
  International Trade Law)/40
• 3 international environmental law
• 4 law of the sea

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Problems?

• Summary misdirects the readers focus, initially
  suggesting this is a science project, rather than
  a legal project.
• This misdirection is then repeated in the 50 word
  summary and keywords.
• Title and 100 word summary are overly wordy.
• Sentences are too complex.
• At times it is vague, eg. will have broader
  resonance for ocean governance. How?

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Example 1 Revised version

• Title Improving the Global Governance of
  Sharks Obstacles, Options and Opportunities
• 100 Word Summary
• Emerging science indicates that sharks play a
  critical role in maintaining marine ecosystem
  health. Yet current governance regimes have not
  been effective and many shark species continue to
  diminish. In this context, effective laws are
  critical to improving sharks conservation
  status. This project will enhance international
  laws and institutions for shark conservation and
  management by confronting obstacles that prevent
  existing laws working better, identifying best
  practice global governance options and
  highlighting opportunities for legal reform. This
  research will have broader resonance for oceans
  governance by identifying appropriate legal
  frameworks and regulatory mechanisms that balance
  conservation and utilization of marine species.
• 50 Word Summary
• Improving the global governance of sharks is
  critical in light of their poor conservation
  status and importance for marine ecosystems. This
  research will make an important contribution to
  their conservation and sustainable use by
  identifying obstacles and opportunities for
  working better with existing laws and making
  recommendations for reform.
• Keywords Field of Research FOR Codes/percentage
• 1 international law 1 180116 - International Law
  (excl. International Trade Law)/70
• 2 sharks 2 180111 - Environmental and Natural
  Resources Law/30
• 3 environmental law

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Why is this an improvement?

• First sentence situates the project in the
  context of science, but the following sentence
  makes clear that this is a legal project.
• This is also clearly signalled in the 50 word
  summary and keywords.
• Summary is clearer and simpler.
• Makes clear why legal governance regimes are
  important for conservation.
• Explains how the project will have broader
  resonance for ocean governance.

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Example 2 Original

• Title How religious clerics, medical
  authorities, and the media shape Muslim
  interpretations of three reproductive health
  technologies in Egypt
• 100 Word Summary
• This research investigates 3 reproductive health
  technologies in Egypt emergency contraception,
  erectile dysfunction drugs, and hymenoplasty.
  Examining how medical authorities, Islamic
  jurisprudence, and the media influence Muslims
  opinions about these technologies will show the
  role of government and medical experts in
  individuals sexual and reproductive lives. The
  research will help us better understand the
  relationship between Egyptian Muslims
  relationship with religious authorities and the
  influences of biomedicine on a societys ideas
  about sexuality, gender roles, when life begins,
  and how individuals relate to God. The resulting
  book and articles will contribute to improved
  Australian understandings of Islam in the Middle
  East.
• 50 Word Summary
• Studying emerging reproductive health
  technologies in Egypt reveals social
  constructions of desire, morality, and
  appropriate gender roles and sexuality in this
  populous Middle Eastern country. The resulting
  ethnographic book, articles, and media outreach
  will broaden international understandings of the
  beliefs and everyday practices of Muslims.
• Keywords Field of Research FOR
  Codes/percentage
• 1 anthropology 4 Egypt 1 Social and Cultural
  Anthropology/70
• 2 gender 5 sexuality 2 Islamic Studies/30
• 3 Islam 6 reproductive health

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Problems?

• Title unnecessarily convoluted.
• First sentence misdirects focus onto reproductive
  technologies, rather than onto influence of
  medical and religious authorities.
• Some sentences unnecessarily wordy
• 50 word summary assumes reader shares CIs
  theoretical interests
• Logical connections not sufficiently clear some
  repetition
• Outcomes focus attention on project outputs,
  rather than broader relevance and impact

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Example 2 Revised version

• Title Religious clerics, medical authorities,
  and sexuality in Islamic interpretations of
  reproductive health technologies in Egypt
• 100 Word Summary
• This research investigates how medical
  authorities and Islamic jurisprudence influence
  Muslims' opinions about 3 reproductive health
  technologies in Egypt emergency contraception,
  erectile dysfunction drugs, and hymenoplasty.
  Using mixed ethnographic research methods, it
  examines the role of government and medical
  experts in individuals sexual and reproductive
  lives. The research will contribute to our
  understanding of the relationship between Islam
  and medical authorities and the ways that
  technologies can both reflect and transform a
  societys ideas about ideal and proscribed
  sexuality, beliefs about gender roles and
  families, and cosmologies about when life begins
  and how an individual relates to God.
• 50 Word Summary
• Taking reproductive health in Egypt as a case
  study, this research investigates how religious
  and secular authorities interact to shape access
  to and availability of medical technologies. The
  resulting ethnography and research articles will
  broaden international understandings of the
  relationship between Islam, sexuality, and
  modernity.
• Keywords Field of Research FOR
  Codes/percentage
• 1 medical anthropology 1 Social and Cultural
  Anthropology/70
• 2 sexuality and Islam 2 Islamic Studies/30
• 3 religion in Egypt
• 4 reproductive health technologies

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Why is this an improvement?

• Focus of project is clear from the outset
• Identifies disciplinary research methodology
• Explains the broader social relevance of focus on
  reproductive technologies
• Also signalled in 50 word summary
• Identifies outcomes in terms of heightened
  cross-cultural understanding, not outputs
• Also signalled in 50 word summary

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Example 3 Original

• Title Funding Tyranny
• 100 Word Summary
• The project explores the political economy of
  tyranny in archaic Greece. It examines the role
  of money and coinage in strategies for obtaining
  and maintaining sole rule in oligarchic
  societies. It is focused on the example of Athens
  and the reign of Peisistratus and his sons, but
  places them in the broader context of tyrannical
  rule in archaic Greece. It employs the first
  comprehensive study of archaic Athenian coinage
  to examine the ways in which minting under the
  tyrants revolutionized money use and the state
  administration of wealth finance.
• 50 Word Summary
• Funding Tyranny explores the financial
  underpinnings of absolute rule in ancient Greek
  societies. It is focused on Athens and the
  creation of coinage by its most famous tyrant,
  Peisistratus.
• Keywords Field of Research FOR Codes/percentage
• 1 Greek tyrants 1 Understanding Europe's Past/45
• 2 Archaic Athens 2 Political Systems/35
• 3 Greek numismatics 3 Monetary Policy/20
• 4 XRF spectrometry

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Problems?

• Not clear from title, summary or order of
  keywords that or why this is an interdisciplinary
  humanities/science archaeology project
• Title and aims too broad
• Summary assumes too much disciplinary-specific
  knowledge
• Summary not particularly engaging. Why should
  this project be funded?

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Example 3 Revised version

• Title A spring of silver, a treasury in the
  earth coinage and wealth in archaic Athens
• 100 Word Summary
• This project explores the thesis that locally
  mined silver had an important impact on the
  public revenues of the Athenian state throughout
  the years c.550 BC-480 BC. It is the first to
  combine a comprehensive corpus and die study of
  archaic Athenian coinage with a statistically
  significant survey of the metal composition of
  these coins. It argues that these data can be
  employed to investigate the use of locally
  sourced Laurion silver in the minting of coinage
  as a relative indicator of mine output, of the
  levels of silver held in the public treasury, and
  of the willingness or need of public officials to
  convert these stocks into coin to address the
  changing configuration of the political economy.
• 50 Word Summary
• The purpose of the project is to study the impact
  of locally mined silver on the public treasury of
  the Athenians, and thus on the developing
  political economy of this important city-state
  during the years c.550-480 BC, by examining its
  employment for the minting of coins.
• Keywords Field of Research FOR
  Codes/percentage
• 1 Ancient numismatics 1 Archaeological
  Science/50
• 2 Archaeological science 2 Classical Greek and
  Roman History/50
• 3 X-ray fluorescence spectrometry

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Why is this an improvement?

• Catchy title
• Guiding hypothesis stated at the outset
• Summary and keywords make clear that this is an
  interdisciplinary archaeology project
• Justifies involvement of second CI, budget
• Explains logical connections between scientific
  aspects of study and historical, political,
  economic, social aspects.
• Does not assume too much disciplinary knowledge.

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• Questions?