Red Ink and Rhetoric: Recent Scholarship and New Directions in Commenting on College Essays

1
Red Ink and Rhetoric Recent Scholarship and New
Directions in Commenting on College Essays

• Michael L. Melancon
• Department of English
• Oklahoma State University
• michael.melancon_at_okstate.edu

2
BackgroundNovice Instructor Has No Clue
3
MIKES END COMMENTS - GAY MARRIAGE PAPER
Your paper flounders because you didn't create a
strong thesis to guide both you and the reader
through your argument. Simply discussing the
differences and similarities doesn't constitute a
thesis. What larger point are you trying to make
by comparing and contrasting these articles? I
appreciate the points of the articles you are
going to focus on the authors' approach, how
knowledgeable they are, article format, etc., but
you have to use all of those points of the
articles to support an argument that YOU, the
author of this paper, are making. There are some
breaks in the logic of your paper. For example,
your assessment of the second article (not
clear on which one is which because you didn't
cite either article) is contradictory. On page
2, you say the author was for the acceptance of
gay marriage, but on page 3 you say he argued
both sides and kept his opinion out of the
debate. Your paper relies heavily on short,
simple sentences. This won't serve you well
later in your college career. No matter what
your major is, your professors will expect you to
express complex ideas using thoughtful, complex
prose. On a rewrite of this paper, you really
need to take the opportunity to compose sentences
that convey your meaning in a clear and
sophisticated manner. Just as an example, look
at your first two sentences Gay marriage is a
controversial . . . throughout the U.S. There
are several opinions . . .. Why can't that be
one sentence? Gay marriage is controversial...,
and there are several opinions... In a rewrite
of this paper, do everything you can to avoid
these short, blunt sentences. The Writing Center
is an excellent tool for you to use in developing
your skill at composing longer, more complex
sentences. This paper needs significant
revision, but all is not hopeless. I appreciated
you touching on the rhetorical type each author
used, and I appreciated your consideration of
each author's intended audience. These
pointsrhetorical type and audiencecan be
greatly expanded on, though, and this may give
you a more workable thesis. Think about each
author's rhetorical type and audience, and see if
you can make some larger statement out of the way
the two articles differ on these points. Is
logos a more effective way to argue for/against
gay marriage or societal change? Is pathos?
4
MIKES END COMMENTS - POE PAPER
I quite enjoyed your close reading of Poe's poem.
The paper gets particularly effective beginning
on the second page. In paragraphs 3, 4, 6, and
7, you do a nice job of using a line-by-line
analysis to point out Poe's use of
personification, auditory imagery, descriptive
adjectives, and so on. See my marginal notes for
some points that I think need clarifying. I
think you could make the thesis of your paper
stronger by expanding and clarifying it. You
might consider combining some of the sentences in
your first paragraph to this end. For instance,
does Poe use his rhetorical tools to assert some
primary message in this poem? I'm not sure what
the second paragraph adds to this paper, other
than a rather cursory entrance into Poe's poem,
which doesn't merit an entire paragraph. You
might want to simply combine a few of the points
from paragraph 2 into paragraph 3. A few points
of syntax and diction with inline
citations, the period should go after the closing
parenthesis. Check an MLA guide for
clarification on this. use slashes to
indicate line endings when quoting a poem (line
one ends / two begins) use the
conventional term the speaker to refer to the
poem's speaker (i.e., narrator). consider
using fewer adverbs, which weaken your prose, and
perhaps make your language less flowery for
example, your second sentence Dripping with
vivid imagery... Let Poe do the
dripping. Overall, what really works in this
paper is the sense that a reader gets that you
are enjoying reading Poe and discussing his poem.
Your enthusiasm as an author will draw your
audience into being enthusiastic, as well. In
future rewrites, as well as in future papers, I
encourage you to continue to apply this level of
energy.
5
Research QuestionNovice Instructor Seeks Clue
6
Aim of Research

• Review historical and current commenting
  practices, and couple that research with an
  analysis of actual essay evaluations in order to
  develop a structural framework to guide teaching
  assistants in becoming more effective at
  commenting on student papers.

7
INSTRUCTOR COMMENTING BY DECADE 1890 - Present
1890s correctness 1920s rating scales 1940s
teacher as audience 1950s comment as
rhetoric 1980s-present . . .
8
Highlights of recent scholarshipMid-80s -
Present
Connors, R. J., and Andrea A. Lunsford. The
Frequency of Formal Error in Current College
Writing, or Ma and Pa Kettle Do Research.
College Composition and Communication 39.4
(1988) 395-409. Connors, R. J., and Andrea A.
Lunsford. "Teachers' Rhetorical Comments on
Student Papers." College Composition and
Communication 44.2 (1993) 200-23. Lunsford,
Andrea A., and Karen J. Lunsford. Mistakes Are
a Fact of Life A National Comparative Study.
College Composition and Communication 59.4
(2008) 781-806. Smith, Summer. "The Genre of
the End Comment Conventions in Teacher Responses
to Student Writing." College Composition and
Communication 48.2 (1997) 249-68.
9
Notes from the Field
Barnes 1912 Connors/Lunsford 1988 Smith -
1997
10
Frequency of top 20 student errors. Connors
Lunsford (1988)
11
(No Transcript)
12
(No Transcript)
13
(No Transcript)
14
Suggested Readings Greenbaum, Sidney, and John
Taylor. The Recognition of Usage Errors by
Instructors of Freshman Composition. College
Composition and Communication 32.1 (1981)
169-174. Hauptman, Robert. Documentation A
History and Critique of Attribution, Commentary,
Glosses, Marginalia, Notes, Bibliographies,
Works-Cited Lists, and Citation Indexing and
Analysis. Jefferson, N.C. McFarland, 2008.
McAlexander, Patricia J. Advantages of the
Cumulative Comment Sheet in Composition Classes.
College Composition and Communication 39.4
(1988) 463-464. Slattery, Patrick. Encouraging
Critical Thinking A Strategy for Commenting on
College Papers. College Composition and
Communication 41.3 (1990) 332-335. Straub,
Richard. Students Reactions to Teacher
Comments An Exploratory Study. Research in the
Teaching of English 31.1 (1997) 91-119.
QUESTIONS? COMMENTS?