The Social Outcast: Social Exclusion, Rejection and Bullying. The Educator

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The Social Outcast Social Exclusion, Rejection
and Bullying.The Educators Role

• HILLSIDE PRESS

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• What would you probably do if the following
  scenario was taking place in your classroom?

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• A student is being repeatedly teased and called
  unpleasant names by another, more powerful
  student, who has successfully persuaded other
  students to avoid the targeted person as much as
  possible. As a result, the victim of this
  behaviour is feeling angry, miserable and
  isolated.

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• Please circle the answer closest to what you
  think.
• There are no right or wrong answers.

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• Without friends no one would choose to live,
  though he had all other goods.
• - Aristotle

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• Are social relationships something we actually
  need or merely find desirable?

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Social Relationships are a Need

• Social connection is a need as basic as air,
  water and food.
• Social isolation causes pain that is very similar
  to physical pain.
• The need to belong is a universal one.

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Social Relationships Effect Four Important Needs

• Need to belong
• Self-esteem
• Perceived control over environment
• Meaningful existence

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Why Are Peer Relationships Necessary?

• Social practice and learning of social skills.
• Social support
• Interaction with equals
• Time spent with same age peers

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Who Is Most at Risk of Being a Social Outcast?

• Deficiency in one or more areas
• Low self-esteem
• High sensitivity to rejection
• Insensitivity to rejection
• Family problems / Parental rejection

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Who Is Most at Risk of Being a Social Outcast?

• Person-group dissimilarity
• - aggression
• - shyness
• - low achievers
• - inattention and/or hyperactivity

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The Consequences of Rejection and Bullying

• threat to four needs
• pain and hurt
• cognitive and/or behavioral reaction

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The Consequences of Rejection and Bullying

• If the rejection is continual the child will
  feel
• alienated
• depressed
• helpless
• worthless
• anxious

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The Consequences of Rejection and Bullying

• Rejected children often react with self-defeating
  behaviour
• Aggression and/or hostility
• Dropping out of school (25 vs. 8)
• Criminality
• Social withdrawal

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Long Term Consequences

• Loneliness
• Social isolation
• Cardiovascular disease
• Immune system problems
• Increase in blood pressure
• Mortality
• Psychiatric problems

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Who Is Immune to the Effects of Rejection?

• Children with at least one friend.
• Children with a low sensitivity to rejection.
• When they are not the only child being bullied.

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Why Dont These Children Have Social Skills?

• Unlearnt at home or an inability to
  automatically learn these skills.
• The vicious cycle of being rejected as lack of
  social interaction leads to an inability to learn
  social skills.
• Poor attachment as a baby or parental rejection.

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Why Dont These Children Have Social Skills?

• Avoidance of social connection in order to
  protect themselves.
• Pre-existing behavioral or emotional problem
  (learning difficulty and/or attention deficit
  hyperactivity disorder).

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What the Educator Can Do to Help

• SCORE YOUR RESPONSES
• The victim must stand up for him/herself
• Punish the bully
• Ignore the problem
• Problem solving approach
• Not a serious problem

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• The Social Outcast will react in one of three
  ways
• Aggressive coping
• Ruminating
• Denial coping
• All three are associated with long term
  maladaptive functioning.

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• Expect acceptance not rejection
• (social detective work)
• Encourage the development of friendships
• Encourage extracurricular activities
• Encourage parents to organize opportunities for
  the child to socialize
• Boost self-confidence

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TEACHING SOCIAL SKILLS

• Social skills initiate and maintain positive
  social relationships with others.
• Social skills deficits will lead to learning and
  teaching problems, problems in classroom
  orchestration and climate.

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• TEACH POSITIVE INTERACTION SKILLS
• Acceptance or Rejection depend on six unconscious
  questions
• Is this person fun?
• Is this person trustworthy?
• Do we influence each other in ways I like?
• Does this person help me achieve my goals?
• Does this person make me feel good about myself?
• Is this person similar to me?

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FUN

• ACCEPTANCE
• Humour
• Skillful
• Cooperative

• REJECTION
• Mean or aggressive
• Bossy
• Withdrawn
• Low cognitive skills

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TRUST

• ACCEPTANCE
• Reliable
• Honest
• Loyal

• REJECTION
• Betrayal
• Aggression
• Dishonest

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INFLUENCE IN WAYS I LIKE

• ACCEPTANCE
• Cooperative
• Responsive

• REJECTION
• Mean or aggressive
• Bossy
• Rigid or resistant

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GOALS

• ACCEPTANCE
• Helpful
• Cooperative

• REJECTION
• Disruptive
• Impulsive

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FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF

• ACCEPTANCE
• Supportive
• Kind
• Responsive
• Likes me

• REJECTION
• Insulting
• Non-responsive
• Dislikes me

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SIMILAR

• ACCEPTANCE
• Grade
• Race
• Age
• Values and interests
• Respects peer conventions

• REJECTION
• Superior manner
• Different values and interests
• Handicapped

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Social Tasks

• Coping with success
• Dealing with conflict
• Defending self
• Coping with failure
• Staying involved
• Making a friend

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Social Tasks

• Sharing / cooperating
• Sticking up for a friend
• Coping with rejection
• Responding to requests
• Making requests

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Social Tasks

• Helping others
• Maintaining a conversation
• Coping with teasing
• Being supportive of others

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There is something in staying close to men and
women, and looking on them, and in contact and
odor of them, that pleases the soul well
- Walt
WhitmanThat part of what makes life worth
living is being close to others.
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THANK YOU