Do Now: What doesn

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Do Now What doesnt work well in this
paragraph?

• I love to fish, even if it means getting up at 5
  oclock in the morning. I went fishing with my
  Uncle Ted last Saturday on the Great South Bay. I
  had a huge breakfast of steak and eggs at the
  diner. I even got to steer my uncles boat out of
  the harbor. I was surprised at how many people
  were boating so early in the morning. I baited my
  hook and cast out after we set the anchor. I felt
  a strong tug on my rod. I thought bluefish!

I love to fish, even if it means getting up at 5
oclock in the morning. Last Saturday Uncle Ted
took me fishing on the Great South Bay. We went
to a diner, and he let me order a huge breakfast
of steak and eggs. He even let me steer his boat
out of the harbor. I was surprised at how many
people were boating so early in the morning.
After we set the anchor I baited my hook and cast
out. I felt a strong tug on my rod. Bluefish! I
thought.
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Good writing
Sounds good!
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(No Transcript)
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Aim How can you introduce variety into your
draft by using various sentence openings?
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Aim How can you introduce variety into your
draft by using various sentence openings?

• The mark of neophyte writers is redundant
  openings.
• Put too many of the same opening in a row and
  writing becomes monotonous.
• Like a song with ONE NOTE!

I love to fish, even if it means getting up at 5
oclock in the morning. I went fishing with my
Uncle Ted
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Aim How can you introduce variety into your
draft by using various sentence openings?

• 1. Use adjectives.
• Ripe, juicy peaches made my Grandmothers pie
  the best.
• 2. Use a gerund.
• Skiing, a favorite winter sport, is being
  overtaken by snowboarding.
• 3. Use an appositive.
• Sheila, the smartest girl in the class, received
  an award.
• 4. Use an infinitive (to run, to sit, to play,
  etc.).
• To win an award was a proud achievement for
  Natasha.
• 5. Use a prepositional phrase.
• In the high tower, the princess waits for her
  prince to arrive. 
• 6. Use parallel structure (a conjunction between
  adjectives).
• Handsome and fearless, the prince climbed the
  tower to his princess. 
• 7. Use a Participle or Participial Phrase (ing
  or ed)
• Slithering down the trunk of the tree, I ripped
  my best pants.
• Impressed by the ceremony, we left the room in
  silence.

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Aim How can you introduce variety into your
draft by using various sentence openings?

• Many students have a hard time studying.

1. Use adjectives.
2. Use a gerund.
3. Use an appositive.
4. Use an infinitive.
5. Use a prepositional phrase.
6. Use parallel structure.
7. Use a Participle or Participial Phrase.

Studying gives many students a hard time.
Difficult and tedious, many students have a hard
time studying.
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Aim How can you introduce variety into your
draft by using various sentence openings?

• When you reread your writing, where are the
  places youve got a string of consecutive
  sentences that all begin the same way?
• How could you begin some of those sentences in a
  different way?

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Aim How can you introduce variety into your
draft by using various sentence openings?

• Many students have a hard time studying. Many
  students really dont know what to do in order to
  take notes. Many need to learn the skills to
  become better students. Many students want to
  be better students, but are not sure how to study
  better in order for their grades to improve.

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Aim How can you introduce variety into your
draft by using various sentence openings?

• 1Underdeveloped
• Creates some variety by using one or two types of
  openings
• 2Proficient
• Creates basic variety by using at least two types
  of openings, some fluency
• 3Well developed
• Creates sophisticated variety by using several
  types of openings with fluency

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Aim How can you introduce variety into your
draft by using various sentence openings?

• Many students have a hard time studying. Many
  students really dont know what to do in order to
  take notes. Many need to learn the skills to
  become better students. Many students want to
  be better students, but are not sure how to study
  better in order for their grades to improve.

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Aim How can you introduce variety into your
draft by using various sentence openings?

• 1. Use adjectives.
• Ripe, juicy peaches made my Grandmothers pie
  the best.
• 2. Use a gerund.
• Skiing, a favorite winter sport, is being
  overtaken by snowboarding.
• 3. Use an appositive.
• Sheila, the smartest girl in the class, received
  an award.
• 4. Use an infinitive (to run, to sit, to play,
  etc.).
• To win an award was a proud achievement for
  Natasha.
• 5. Use a prepositional phrase.
• In the high tower, the princess waits for her
  prince to arrive. 
• 6. Use parallel structure (a conjunction between
  adjectives).
• Handsome and fearless, the prince climbed the
  tower to his princess. 
• 7. Use a Participle or Participial Phrase (ing
  or ed)
• Slithering down the trunk of the tree, I ripped
  my best pants.
• Impressed by the ceremony, we left the room in
  silence.

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Aim How can you introduce variety into your
draft by using various sentence openings?

• If too many sentences start with the same word,
  especially "The," "It," "This," or "I," prose can
  grow tedious for readers, so changing opening
  words and phrases can be refreshing.

Varying your sentence openings is ONE way to
introduce variety into your writing!
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Aim How can you introduce variety into your
draft by using various sentence openings?

• Underline or write out the first three words of
  every sentence
• Watch out for starting more than two sentences in
  a paragraph with the same word or part of speech.
  

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Aim How can you introduce variety into your
draft by using various sentence openings?

• HW Incorporate at least three new sentence
  openings from our list to eliminate redundancy
  and increase the variety in your description.
• Submit Revision to turnitin.com