Interpersonal

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• Interpersonal
• Communication
• (a presentation by Sally A. Bishai, Ph.D.)

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What ARE Interpersonal Relationships, Anyway?

• 2 peeps
• Dyadic
• Interdependent
• Consistent
• Over time

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Importance of IR 3 Needs (Schutz, 1976)

• Inclusion involvement
• Affection tenderness
• Control influencing stuff

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Two Types of Interpersonal Relationships

• Complementary
• Math EnglishThe Perfect Person (?!)
• Symmetrical
• Math gurus all!

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Self-Disclosure Uncle Johari

• I. Open (you and me)
• II. Blind (I am)
• III. Hidden (skeletons in my closet?)
• IV. Unknown (you and me)

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Why Begin a Relationship, Then?

• Proximity
• Neighbour, co-worker
• Attractiveness
• Wow, what a babe!
• Responsiveness
• Yay, they like me!
• Similarity
• We both love RPGS, goody!
• Complementarity
• Ill help you with your term paper if you do my
  algebra..!

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Things are Hunky DoryRight?

• Motivations for TERMINATING relationships (boo
  hoo)
• Hurtful (and BEASTLY) messages
• Deception (liar, liar, pants on fire)
• Aggressiveness (me shoe, you doormat)
• Argumentativeness (beyetkhani2 ma3 debban
  weshhoo!)
• Defensiveness (imagine a cornered beast)
• That would be the DENOTATIVE meaning of beast

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Personal Idioms

• A culture of two
• Unique nicknames
• Unique language
• Come up with THREE of these that youve seen,
  heard, and/or imagined!

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Androgyny

• Rocks (?!)
• Is when a person has (or uses) elements of the
  MALE and the FEMALE
• Can result in the MOST SUCCESSFUL relationships
  (if youre androgynous, I mean)

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Intercultural Communication

• another presentation by
• Sally A. Bishai, Ph.D.

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Activity Culture ShockED

• Think of a time when you found yourself in an
  unfamiliar situation, such as a new
• Job
• Relationship
• Educational situation
• Country (long-term)
• Briefly analyse that time in your life and
• Identify the differences between previous
  situations and the one in question
• Explain what the biggest conflicts seemed to be
• Briefly describe HOW the conflict was resolved
  (if it was).

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What is Culture, then?

• Is there a culture of brunettes ?
• Do Gamers have their own culture?
• Do Mothers, dog-owners, tennis-players have their
  own cultures?
• CULTURE vs. CO-CULTURE

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Goals of Co-Cultural Communication

• Assimilation Goal
• Hmm, what can I do to fit in with them?
• Accommodation Goal
• My culture rocks, but they have a right to
  their own culture, too! We can all get along,
  right?
• Separation Goal
• Begone, you hellish beasts! We aint talking to
  anyone outside of our group!

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IC Problems

• Ethnocentrism
• Mini-skirts
• Tents (neqab)
• Cultural Relativism
• Saddam Hussein?
• Yanomamo Indians

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More IC Problems (or are they?)

• Stereotyping
• All _____s are good at ______
• Prejudice
• Someone just like me
• Discrimination
• Tomatoes, oranges, and gourmet food

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Additional Barriers (BONUS)
General Problem Specific Obstructions
Communication Dont know what theyre saying at all (language) Dont know what they mean (jargon, regionalisms)
Offense Making a gesture thats OK back home, but vulgar here Making an overture (or joke) thats out of line here Failing to follow a ritual or convention of theirs
Legality Fear of doing something illegal (unwittingly) Possibility of not doing something required
Isolation Fear of making mistakes (language) Apprehension of drawing laughs (at mistakes) Worry over offending people
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Cultural Orientation (Hofstede, 1980)
Individualism Me mentality Whats best for me Independence Adults dont generally need approval Clarity valued Context, back-story, details clinginess (TMI) fluff No dice. Collectivism We mentality Common good Interdependence Youre not an adult if youre not married! Ambiguity treasured Context, back-story, details helpful inclusive Exceptions, case-by-case, personal appeals
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Chronemics (Hall, 1959, 1983)
Monochronic Polychronic
One thing at a time. Time is compartmentalised Late bad Work wrules! To-Do List mentality Stress not completing tasks Focused Multitasking Time is fluid Ill get there when I get there. Relationships rock! ADHD mentality Stress over offending someone Distractible
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Communication Context (Hall, 1976 Hofstede,
1980)
Low-Context High-Context
Depends on what is SAID Take words at face value, for the words said are the only things that count Words trump demeanour Depends on a shared code The code often seems arbitrary Work backward, however, and you might get it! Nonverbals often count Seemingly-tiny details might be the key
Those not in the know might suspect HC communicators of Paranoia (Ill bet the other person didnt even notice!) Obsession (Give it a rest, already!) Psychosis (That doesnt make senseillogical much?!)
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Directness Indirectness
Direct Indirect
Emphasis clarity and being understood Taking the bull by the horns No deduction needed, coz they said it! Emphasis saving face of everyone involved Dancing around the issue Can be deduced by hints in the message
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They Think WHAT?!
Direct think that Indirect are Indirect think that Direct are
Evasive Dishonest Wishy-washy Indecisive Increase tension by hiding from the issue Insensitive Tactless Boorish Harsh Increase tension by dealing too directly with the issue at hand