IMAGES IN MEDIATION

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IMAGES IN MEDIATION

• The Power of the Metaphor

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Preview

• What is a metaphor?
• How do metaphors work?
• Functions mediators perform
• What metaphors might relate to each?

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What is a metaphor?

• A likeness
• Viewing one thing in terms of another
• Graspable, can capture complexity in a word
• Examples
• Mike Tyson is an ox.
• The torch has been passed to. . .
• We have come to Washington to cash a check. . .
• Some become quite common
• Im fed up
• Hes on an emotional roller coaster

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How do metaphors work?

• Clarity, Vividness
• Basic to how we think
• Can set a tone for cooperation
• Can separate people from the conflict
• Can visualize new reality through extensions
• Focus on some aspects, minimize others

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O.K. Page, Wheres the Beef
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31 functions mediators might perform

• Metaphors that might relate
• to each

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Function Mediators persuade parties to enter
mediation

• Lets sidestep the long arm of the law.
• Counting on a favorable decision by the judge
  is, at best, a roll of the dice.

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Function Mediators explain mediation

• Mediation is a garden
• Safe
• Generate new life
• Mediation is a boat in rough waters
• Mediation is a bridge
• Used in both directionsits neutral
• Must support those using itits safe
• Keeper cant force persons to use the bridgeits
  optional

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Mediator may ask parties to generate their
interaction rules

• I want you to create a palate of rules toward
  each other you will follow in this mediation.

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Mediator vilifies the conflict

• We want this conflict to quit pulling the rug
  out from under you.

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Mediators explain basics of negotiation

• Tell the truth
• You must speak with a straight tongue
• No smoke screens allowed
• Make concessions
• Nothing is in concrete
• Each must contribute pieces to this puzzle

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(cont)

• Supply proof
• You need to buttress your points
• Right to caucus
• Anyone can call a time out
• Demonstrate respect for one another
• Lets refrain from any fire-eating language

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Mediators state their fairness and neutrality

• Im on a balance beam. If I lean to one side or
  the other, I fall.

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Mediators empower both parties

• No one is expected to throw in the towel
• No one is going to roll over dead.

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Mediators urge toward an agreement

• Were beginning to see some light at the end of
  the tunnel.
• Im expecting you to hammer out an agreement.
• Lets turn the corner to an agreement and not
  look back.
• Lets get the fly out of the bottle.
• Whats barring the door to a settlement?
• Lets see if we can get on the same page.

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Digressio Guidelines for using metaphors

• Only two or three metaphors per session
• Avoid war contest metaphors
• Use culturally appropriate metaphors
• Use familiar metaphors
• Avoid risky metaphors
• Avoid mixing metaphors

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Mediators provide a vision

• Youre here to write some new music you can both
  sing to.
• Imagine a box of worries disappearing over the
  horizon.

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Mediators urge creative thinking

• I want both of you to think outside of the box.
• The door is wide open to new ideas.

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Mediators encourage a climate of cooperation

• Now that you are in this hole, you both need to
  build a ladder to climb out.

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Mediators listen to each partys story

• Whats your outlook on the situation?
• Have you left any stone unturned? (A. Starr)
• Jane, Whats your view of the landscape?
• Im beginning to get the pulse of the
  situation.

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Mediators probe for key issues

• Whats the lightning rod in this dispute?

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Mediators implore parties to be patient with the
process

• In mediation, the road will have some dips,
  bumps and turns, but it will get us there.

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Mediators compliment the parties on their
cooperation

• You are painting a picture you both can admire
• Now youve got your oars going in the same
  direction
• I feel the ground shifting toward an agreement

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Mediators recognize a pending impasse

• Im sensing a logjam.

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Mediators make suggestions to a party while in
caucus

• The ball is in your court.
• Remember, a bird in the hand is worth two in the
  bush.
• Whats below the waterline?

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Mediators separate issues

• Lets hang this issue on the line for right
  now.
• Lets put this a back burner for the time being.

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Your Turn!

• What metaphors are you thinking of that might
  pertain to your work?

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Mediators try to frame the larger picture

• Lets try to get your concerns into one field of
  vision.

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Mediators facilitate face-saving

• Lets not push each others backs against the
  wall. from S. Ting-Toomey

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Mediators promote empathy

• John, put yourself in Marys shoes for a minute.
  How does she feel?
• Mary, put yourself in Johns shoes. . .

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Mediators regulate turn-taking

• Each of you will get an equal piece of the
  speaking pie.
• Mary, its your turn a bat.

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Mediators will interrupt interaction for the
benefit of progress

• Excuse me, things seem to be all over the board,
  let me ask this. . .

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Mediators conduct perception checking

• Let me see if I have a handle on your point.
• Are you painting the picture that ____________?

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Mediators regulate the emotional climate

• Lets still the water. G. Pollitt

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Mediators restate issues in neutrally-toned
language

• Let me guide us into calmer water, you were
  saying __________?

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Mediators seek clarity

• Im looking at some murky water here.
• Whats the bottom-line?

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Mediators suggest trade-offs

• Can you do a little horse-trading based on what
  weve discussed?
• Paul might take _____ from the table, while
  James might take _______ from the table.

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Mediators show respect for each of the parties

• You are both royalty for opting for mediation.

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Mediators urge parties to not repeat blame
statements

• Lets not spin our wheels on this point.
• Lets not cycle around again on that point.
  from A. Starr
• No need to extract a pound of flesh.

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Finally, mediators articulate the agreement

• Let me write up your collective smile.
• Let me run an iron over your ideas and come up
  with a statement you might agree to.

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Mediators urge parties to follow up on their
signed agreement

• Abide by your agreement and youll soon be out
  of the woods.
• Abide by your agreement and youll clean the
  slate.

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Again, a metaphor is

• Expressing one thing in terms of another
• Adds vividness clarity
• Provides a new way of looking at something
• Note Mediator should be alert to parties
  metaphors and amplify on them if helpful
• e.g., I feel like Im being
  punished in
• 3rd grade math.

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SLUT

• The End in Swedish