Managing Conflict

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Personal Relationships

• Voluntary commitments between individuals
  influenced by rules, relational dialectics and
  the surrounding contexts.
• A social relationship is interaction within
  social roles, rather than as unique individuals.

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Committed Romantic Relationships

• Dimensions of romantic relationships
• Intimacy
• Commitment
• Passion

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Dialectical Theory
Autonomy
Connection
Novelty
Predictability
Openness
Closedness
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Relational Dialectics
Autonomy/Connection I need my own space. I
want to be close.
Novelty /Predictability We need to do I like
the familiar something new. rhythms we have.

Openness/Closedness I like sharing so
There are some much with you.
things I dont want to
talk about.
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Responding to Dialectics

• Neutralization negotiates a balance between the
  two poles.
• Give priority to one need and neglect the other.
• Separate by assigning one need to certain
  interactions and opposing needs to another aspect
  of interaction.
• Reframe by redefining contradictory needs so they
  are not in opposition.
• The least effective way to manage dialectics is
  to honor one need and repress the opposing need.

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Styles of Love
Agape generous selfless
Eros passionate sudden
Storge friendship stable
Mania unsure others love them
Pragma practical
Ludus playful
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Western Perceptions of the Evolution of a
Romantic Relationship -Growth
Individuals are not interacting.
Individuals signal they are interested in
communication.
Exploration exchanges information to explore the
possibilities for a relationship.
Intensifying increases the depth of the
relationship.
Revising looks at the relationship more
realistically.

Commitment is a decision to stay with a
relationship permanently.
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Western Perceptions of the Evolution of a
Romantic Relationship -Deterioration
Dyadic breakdown--degeneration of patterns,
understandings, and routines.
Intrapsychic--brooding about problems and
partner--beginning to think about alternatives.
Dyadic--discussion of problems (doesnt always
occur).
Social phase--figuring out how to tell outsiders
about the parting and seeking their support.

• Grave dressing--burying the relationship and
  accepting its end.

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Relationship Maintenance

• The relational culture originally created will be
  refined and transformed.
• Partners must understand change and adapt to it.
• Daily routines are the lifeblood of
  relationships.
• Everyday routines, shared concerns, ways of
  interacting, conversation, and reflection

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Developmental Stages in Romantic Relationships
Navigation

• Intimate bonding
• Revising communication
• Intensifying communication
• Explorational communication
• Invitational communication

• Dyadic breakdown
• Intrapsychic phase
• Dyadic phase
• Social support
• Grave dressing

Individuals
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Surviving Distance

• Build climates that are trusting, open and
  honest.
• Focus on what is positive and good.
• About the relationship
• About the separation
• Remember that each partner can concentrate more
  fully on work, school or other priorities.

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CNN, Interpersonal Communication, Volume 3
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Challenges to Romantic Relationships

• Creating equitable relationships
• Women usually assume psychological responsibility
  which involves remembering, planning, and
  coordinating domestic activities.
• Resisting violence
• 28 of women in the US report at least one
  episode of physical violence.
• Negotiating safer sex
• People find it more embarrassing to talk about
  sex than participate in it.
• Rational thought and control are debilitated by
  alcohol or drugs.

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The Cycle of Abuse
Stage 1 Tension
Stage 2 Explosion
Stage 4 Honeymoon
Stage 3 Remorse
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Relationships
Build
Stabilize
Deteriorate
Based on the communication involved!
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Experiencing Communication in our Lives . . .

• View the following video clip and then answer
  the questions that follow based on material
  presented in this chapter.

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Communication Scenarios, Wadsworth/Thomson
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• 1. What love style do you think Meg and Trevor
  have? What cues in the dialogue lead you to
  identify each persons love style?
• 2. Based on the dialogue how would you judge
  Trevor and Megs level of commitment to the
  relationship?
• 3. What aspects of context seem to influence
  Megs and Trevors preferences for how the
  relationship should proceed?

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