Strategies for Raising Gifted Children who are Healthy

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Strategies for Raising Gifted Children who are
Healthy Well-Adjusted

• Maxine Kilcrease, Ph.D.
• April 9, 2007

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Tonights Agenda

• Principles, Values Beliefs
• The Parent
• The Parenting
• The Child
• Resources
• Conversation

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Principles, Values Beliefs

• All children need parenting-gifted children need
  it too.
• A firm foundation of values and beliefs is
  essential to raising a successful well adjusted
  child.
• Children who are gifted are not better than
  other children. They are different.

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• Parenting gifted children is complex, challenging
  and rewarding.
• Parents who think of their gifted children as
  status symbols are objectifying their children.
  The children will act accordingly.
• Gifted children are not superior human beings.
  They just have greater intelligence.

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The Parent

• Know yourself.
• Accept your childs giftedness.
• Be intentional and reflective.
• Use your energy wisely.

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The Parenting

• Be a parent, not a friend.
• Balance expectations and support.
• Develop patience and more patience.
• Cultivate being low key and matter-of-fact.

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• Take responsibility for providing interesting and
  stimulating experiences for your children.
• Ensure participation in a broad range of
  activities.
• Change is inevitable and constant.
• Predicting the future is not a good use of your
  time.
• Expectations v. Reality

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The Child

• Keep learning about yourself.
• Be honest with yourself. (Dont lie to yourself.)
• Identify your strengths.

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Live Your Own Life

• One of the barriers is pleasing others all the
  time.
• You only live once.
• Use your life energy wisely.
• If you dont live your own life, you will be
  miserable.

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Identify who what you need for support

• Who do you need? Who can you count on?
• Friends
• Families
• Teachers
• What?
• Journal
• Exercise
• Quiet time/space
• Vitamins

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Create discipline rhythm in your life

• Habits of living.
• What works for you?
• Make perseverance and flexibility part of your
  life.
• Balance isnt all its cracked up to be.

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Your social responsibility

• We have a lot.
• Some folks have none or little.
• We need to do our part to ensure that others have
  the same access and opportunity that we do.
• Look for opportunities-sometimes they will come
  to you.

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Do whats good right, no matter what

• This may cost you something-power, prestige,
  privilege.
• Forget about ever getting anything out of it
  other that a great feeling and satisfaction.

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Be the one to push the envelope

• Look at things from multiple perspectives.
• Color outside the lines.
• Dont start with the status quo.
• Start with the questions about the work.

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Finish your education

• Expensive
• Difficult
• Infuriating
• Exhilarating
• Theres no substitute
• Keep on learning

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Pursue your passion

• Decide what matters more than anything to you.
• Choose your goals.
• Never give up.
• No one ever gets everything they want.

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Eleanor Roosevelt

• You gain strength, courage, and confidence by
  every experience in which you really stop to look
  fear in the face. You must do the thing you
  cannot do.

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Questions

• Is forgetfulness a common trait in gifted
  children? How do we help our son remember his
  assignments without him becoming dependent on us?
• How do high achieving students that struggle with
  picking up on those subtle social skills, survive
  high school?

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Questions

• How can you help siblings of gifted students,
  when the sibling may or may not be gifted?
• What advice do you have for parents of gifted
  kids on coping with intense emotions?

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Questions

• How do parents deal with perfectionism in their
  gifted child?
• It seems that many gifted kids have one
  particular all-consuming interest or passion. Our
  child is very strong in several areas but no one
  area is all-consuming. We wonder how to guide our
  child in making college/career decisions when
  there appear to be many possible options?

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Questions

• Our child prefers to hang out with a great group
  of older kids with similar interests and has
  little time for kids in the same grade. How
  typical is this of gifted kids?