Conversation

1
Conversation

• Conversation is an exercise of the mind. Gossip
  is merely an exercise of the tongue.
• -Anonymous

2
Conversations (Chapter 9)

• Informal social interaction
• Roles of hearer and speaker are exchanged
• Non-automatic
• Collaborative management

3
Conversation Quiz

• What qualities make a conversation satisfying to
  you?
• What interpersonal qualities are most important
  in conversation?

4
Five-Stage Model of Conversation

• Opening
• Feedforward
• Business
• Feedback
• Closing

5
Opening

• Phatic Communication
• establishes a connection
• Verbal or non-verbal

6
Feedforward

• Focus
• Tone

7
Business

• Substance
• Goal directed

8
Feedback

• Reflect back
• Disagreement go back a step

9
Closing

• Goodbye
• Reveals satisfaction/dissatisfaction

10
Initiating Conversations

• Try to be unthreatening, clear
• Self References
• Other References
• Relational References
• Context References

11
Conversations

• Cooperation using four maxims
• Quantity just enough info, relevant
• Quality true instead of false
• Relation relevant
• Manner organized, clear

12
Turn Taking

• Speaker Cues
• Listener Cues
• Back Channeling
• Agreement/Disagreement
• Degree of Involvement
• Pace of the Speaker
• Clarification

13
Closing Conversations

• Reflect Back
• State Directly
• Future
• Ask for closure
• Enjoyment

14
Disclaimers

• Ensuring your message will be understood
• Credentialing
• Sin Licenses
• Cognitive disclaimers
• Suspension of judgment

15
Excuses

• Explanations that attempt to lessen negative
  implications
• Maintaining self esteem

16
Excuses

• Ineffective
• I didnt do it
• It wasnt so bad
• Yes, but
• Effective
• I see
• I did it
• Im sorry
• Forgive me
• Ill do better

17
What affects the five stage model?

• Personalities of the sender and receiver (self
  and perception)
• Culture
• Context
• Purpose

18
14 Unsatisfying Conversation Partners

• MICD
• SIDE
• SAT AP

19
Unsatisfying Conversation Partners

• MICD
• Moralist evaluates and judges everyone and
  everything
• Inactive Responder gives no reaction, regardless
  of what you say
• Complainer rarely tires of listing each
  complaint
• Detour Taker always going off on tangents

20
Unsatisfying Conversation Partners

• SIDE
• Story Teller substitutes them for two way
  conversation
• Interrogator asks questions about everything
• Doomsayer everything is a problem
• Egotist self-related topics

21
Unsatisfying Conversation Partners

• SAT AP
• Self Discloser more than you need to know
• Advisor too much advice
• Thought Completer knows what youre going to say
• Arguer takes issue
• Psychiatrist analyzes everything

22

• What can you do to avoid becoming one of these
  problem conversationalists?

23
MICD Solutions

• MICD
• Moralist avoid evaluation and judgment
• Inactive Responder overt verbal and non-verbal
• Complainer good, before bad
• Detour Taker logical pattern

24
SIDE Solutions

• SIDE
• Story Teller be other oriented
• Interrogator questions in moderation
• Doomsayer be positive
• Egotist listen as much as you speak

25
SAT AP Solutions

• Self Discloser be selective
• Advisor expression of problem doesnt always
  require a solution
• Thought Completer dont interrupt
• Arguer disagree when appropriate
• Psychiatrist avoid therapist role