Birth Order

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Birth Order

• By Emily Levitan

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In this presentation...

• Origin of the study of birth order
• Basics about oldest, middle, youngest, and only
  children
• Birth order pairings in relationships

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Origins of the Study of Birth Order

• Alfred Adler (1870-1937), an Austrian
  psychiatrist was one of the first theorists to
  suggest that birth order influences personality.
• He argued that birth order often can leave an
  impression on the individual's style of life and
  their way of dealing with the tasks of
  friendship, love, and work.
• This information is based on Adlers work.

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First-Born Children

• It has been shown that first borns talk and walk
  before children who are born later. As first
  borns grow up, these abilities remain they are
  the ones who go on to succeed in the world. They
  get higher grades in school and have higher
  leadership and achievement traits.
• They are conscientious, organized, dependable,
  accommodating, and persistent. While some first
  borns have a strong need for approval, so that
  they grow up pleasing people and taking care of
  others (often being taken advantage of in the
  process), other first borns are high achievers,
  hard driven and ruthless.
• One common characteristic of many first borns is
  that they tend to be perfectionists. They strive
  for unrealistic goals, dont deal well with
  criticism, are devastated by failure, are
  frequently pessimistic, and take on so many
  responsibilities that things can go out of
  control.

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Middle Children ( twins)

• Middle-born children have a diverse range of
  personalities. The habits of many middle-borns
  are motivated by the fact that they have never
  been truly in the spotlight.
• The middle or second born child or children often
  have the sense of not belonging. They fight to
  receive attention from parents and others because
  they feel many times they are being ignored or
  dubbed off as being the same as another sibling.
  Being in the middle a child can feel insecure.
• Middle-born children are often believed to be
  natural mediators. Middle-born children may avoid
  conflict. They may also be highly loyal to their
  peer group and have many friends.
• The middle born child may develop good social
  skills and have an easier time growing up. It has
  been suggested that middle-born children are more
  likely to be entrepreneurs.

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Youngest Children

• The youngest child of the family is viewed as the
  baby of the family, an outgoing charmer, or an
  entertainer who is unafraid to test his or her
  luck. Thus, the youngest of the family is usually
  an endearing, and delightful friend.
• The youngest child is often babied or "pampered"
  more than the other siblings. This "pampering is
  one of the worst behaviors a parent can bestow on
  a child. "Pampering" can lead to dependence, and
  selfishness as well as irresponsibility when the
  youngest enters adulthood.
• Youngest children may become manipulative and
  control-seeking if their sibling(s), parents, or
  other peers are overbearing or bossy.
• The last born child is often described as
  sociable, charming, loving, and open, but also as
  temperamental, irresponsible, and self-centered.

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Only Children

• Only children can carry the characteristics of
  both first borns and last borns. They are
  referred to as "lonely onlies" because, while
  they receive substantial attention from their
  parents, they frequently find themselves with
  fewer social skills for dealing with their peers.
  
• Because they identify so closely with the values
  of their parents, they relate better as they grow
  up with people far older or younger.
• Only children grow up with a great deal of
  recognition from their parents and they tend to
  be responsible, ambitious and perfectionistic,
  but they also set high standards for themselves
  and others so that they may be perceived as
  critical or even controlling.

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Best Birth Order Combinations

• Only and Youngest
• First-born and Youngest
• Middle Child and Youngest

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Oldest and Youngest

• This relationship is an excellent combination.
  First-born can teach last-born how to be better
  organized and that there are times when life must
  be taken seriously. The last-born teaches the
  first-born that it's okay to have fun once in a
  while.

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Not so good combinations...

• Youngest and Youngest
• Oldest and Oldest
• Middle and Middle
• Oldest and Middle

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Oldest and Oldest, Only and Only

• Two first borns or two only children may find
  themselves in a volatile and competitive
  relationship, especially when both have
  tendencies to be perfectionists. They hold high
  standards for themselves and are determined
  people who find it difficult to back down. First
  borns, unlike second borns, often never had to
  learn the art of compromise.

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Oldest and Middle

• The danger here is that the middle-born may alter
  his or her own behavior to please the first-born.
  While the middle one makes a good match for
  anyone (except, perhaps, for another middle), she
  may find the first-born to be somewhat
  intimidating and thus will need drawing out.

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Middle and Middle

• While two middle children in a relationship may
  be good mediators,, they may avoid talking
  through the problems which come up in any
  relationship. Middle children want things to be
  smooth and they are generally loyal to a fault.
  They learned how to avoid conflict growing up and
  this meant keeping things to themselves. Their
  relationships, therefore, may be characterized by
  a lack of communication.

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Youngest Youngest

• Two last borns together can make for a
  wonderfully playful relationship, but eventually
  each partner may look to the other to take
  control of things. Last borns grew up with older
  siblings who took responsibility for decisions
  and chores, so they may still expect in adulthood
  that someone else will take care of things. Last
  born partners frequently have money problems.