NCMA World Congress 2006

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(No Transcript)
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The Art of Mentoring
Breakout Session 1006 Tom Reid Chief Problem
Solver Certified Contracting Solutions,
LLC Wednesday, April 11, 2006 245 PM to 345
PM
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What is Mentoring?

• We cannot exist without mutual help. All,
  therefore, that need aid have a right to ask it
  from their fellow men, and no one who has the
  power of granting can refuse it without guilt.
• Walter Scott (1771-1832)Writer

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What is Mentoring?

• "A coach is someone who tells you what you don't
  want to hear, who has you see what you don't want
  to see, so you can be who you have always known
  you could be." Tom Landry

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What is Mentoring?

• "If you could find out what the most successful
  people did in any area and then you did the same
  thing over and over, you'd eventually get the
  same results they do."
• Brian Tracy

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What is Mentoring?

• "If you want to be successful, find someone who
  has achieved the results you want and copy what
  they do and you'll achieve the same results."
• Anthony Robbins

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What is Mentoring?

• "The more you teach positive ideas to others, the
  better you learn them yourself."
• Brian Tracy

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Coaching, Counseling, Mentoring

• Coaching helps all employees do jobs better
  prepares them to do more in the future. Often 1
  on 1 and structured.
• Counseling bad performers good performers with
  an unusual crisis tries to fix bad habits.
• Mentoring Uniquely structured by the
  participants goal is to develop leaders ignore
  them and like hearts they will go where they are
  appreciated.

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Why Mentor?

• A leaders primary responsibility is to grow more
  leaders
• Mentoring is the process that has been shown to
  be most effective

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Mentors Show Genuine Concern

• I have learned that if leaders are going to make
  permanent, important changes to the organization,
  they must exhibit a genuine concern for the
  well-being of the employee. It is one thing to be
  appointed the leader, it is another to be truly
  the leader. People will follow effective
  leadership. People will tolerate for some time
  the ineffective appointed leader. While you
  should not pamper employees or be passive to the
  work force, great leaders will genuinely presume
  that their decisions are predicated on what is
  good for the individual. The synergy that comes
  about when the work force senses a leader is
  concerned about them is extremely valuable.
• A Generals Insight Into Leadership and
  Management, by Maj. Gen. Charles R. Henry (ret)
  Batelle Press, (1996). p. 37.

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What is a leader?

• Character and integrity
• Decision Making
• Expertise in at least one subject
• Ability to accept responsibility
• Be open to persuasion
• Charisma
• Coalition builder
• Negotiator
• Communicator/presenter

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Mentoring Creates your Team

• The bottom line and the essential message of
  this book is that you cant do it alone. If you
  really want to be a successful leader, you must
  develop other leaders around you. You must
  establish a team. You must find a way to get your
  vision seen, implemented, and contributed to by
  others. The leader sees the big picture, but he
  needs other leaders to help make his mental
  picture a reality.
• Maxwell, John C., Developing the Leaders Around
  You, (Nashville Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1995
  Omnibus edition, 2000) p. 2.

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What is Mentoring?

• A structured, professional relationship between a
  more experienced, well established professional
  and a less-experienced professional that provides
  growth opportunities to both participants.

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The Benefits?

• The organization benefits from the sharing of
  knowledge, insight, and experience.
• Shortens a new employees learning curve
• Broadens a veterans perspective

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Being a Mentee is an Active Role

• Seek out and converse with a successful role
  model and mentor. Learning from others success
  and setbacks will inevitably improve production
  of any kind. Truly listen really find out how
  your role models do it right.
• Waitley, Dennis, Empires of the Mind, (New York
  William Morrow and Company, Inc., 1995),
  pp.214-16.

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What Might a Mentor Teach You?

• Computers
• Web literacy
• Public speaking
• Understanding Financial Statements
• Decision making
• Character development
• Corporate politics
• Appreciating Diversity

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What Might a Mentor Teach You?

• Mental/physical health
• Diversity in thought and action what motivates
  different people to be or act the way they do
• How to behave in unfamiliar social situations
• Insights to cultural differences
• Understanding the historical origins and
  significance or events and the meaning of trends

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Creating a Balanced Life Important Rituals

• Sleep
• Exercise
• Nutrition
• Family
• Spirituality
• Planning
• Travel (jet-lag)
• Travel (commute)

• Telephone (stand up block out time)
• Office take breaks
• Creative time (hobbies)
• Going home (leave the office at the office)
• Time alone with NO inputs

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What Else Might a Mentor Teach You?

• Gender Issues
• Generational Issues
• Searching out new mentors
• Developing values
• Finding a good first mentee

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What makes a good Mentor?

• Not every smart, articulate, experienced person
  makes for a perfect mentor
• The Portable Mentor by Cy Charney. American
  Management Association (AMACOM) New York (2004)p.
  200.

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How to identify a good Mentor

• Look for someone who is
• Outside your immediate circle outside your
  department
• Has more experience than you more varied
  experience
• Is generally senior to you in order to provide
  the broader perspective
• Understands humility and has it
• Facilitates problem solving
• Can use the Socratic method to teach you to think
  for yourself
• Genuinely cares about your success

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Traits of a good mentor

• Is a role model has achieved something you seek
  to achieve
• A person of character and integrity
• Is willing to serve as a mentor
• Can listen more than they talk
• Thinks before speaking
• Enjoys learning
• Enjoys learning from the protégé

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Traits of a good mentor

• Cares about and values the relationship
• Has a positive attitude
• Cares about honesty
• Has integrity
• Is patient
• Is tolerant
• Is well read

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What the Best Mentors Also Have

• Active Listening Skills
• Effective Feedback Skills
• Broad Knowledge of the Sought-After Improvement
  Area
• Ability to Help Others develop better
  Decision-Making Skills
• A Broad Arsenal of Thinkers Tools

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What the Best Mentors Also Have

• Ability to Shift Context using metaphor and
  allegory
• Effective Confrontation Skills Able to deliver
  constructive Criticism respectfully
• Ability to Provide Permission Encouragement to
  assist in overcoming psychological resistance to
  change

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What the Best Mentors Also Have

• An Open Mind for Exploring Options
  brainstorming, playful, creative, no limits
• Ability to Effectively use Socratic Method
• Ability to serve as Cheerleader

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Making the Most from the Relationship

• Start well
• Be honest about the relationship
• if it isnt working make that a subject of
  discussion
• if it still isnt working, end it.
• Communicate clearly
• Know how you learn to trust

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Making the Most from the Relationship

• Come prepared with objectives and goals
• What do you need? (be open sincere)
• What are your expectations?
• How often and for how long should you meet
• Boundaries expectations for confidentiality
• Length of relationship

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Making the Most from the Relationship

• Meet your commitments be actively involved
• Respect time constraints of mentor
• Show appreciation to mentor
• Give receive polite and honest (assertive if
  necessary) feedback
• Learn and practice self-empowering behaviors

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Making the Most from the Relationship

• Do not hold mentor in awe
• Do not Fear making mistakes having it on your
  permanent record
• Know how to network and how not to abuse your
  mentors contacts
• Know how you learn (reading, doing, pictures,
  words, etc.)

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Making the Most from the Relationship

• Dont misunderstand the power equation
• You both have it
• Not a parent-child relationship
• Dont shop around for the opinion you want
• Know precisely what you hope to learn from THIS
  mentor

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Making the Most from the Relationship

• Learn Practice active listening
• Have a sense of humor know how to have fun
• Learn and practice conflict resolution
• Appreciate diversity in all of its glorious
  facets

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How Many Mentors Do I Need?

• How many areas in your life are you seeking to
  improve?
• Public Speaking?
• Financial Understanding?
• Corporate politics?
• It is the extremely rare successful person who
  can claim to have achieved it all on their own.
• Also consider forming a Brain Trust

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Determining The Mix

• The right mix of technical advisers, cultural
  interpreters, and political counselors.
• The right mix of internal and external
  advice-givers. You want honest feedback from
  insiders and the dispassionate perspective of
  outside observers.

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Assessment of Your Mentoring Network
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Formal versus Informal Mentoring

• Formal programs tend to become fill the
  check-boxes
• Very few (if any) companies can manage a formal
  program
• Volunteer arrangements tend to have greater
  success

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Traits of a Mentor

• Respect for the mentee
• Encouragement, build on strengths, dont force
  round pegs in square holes
• Keep appointments. If you cant devote the time
  and energy necessary, dont make the commitment.

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Traits of a Mentor

• Follow through on commitments
• Stay in touch help the relationship develop
  communicate often even if to just say hello
• Make a conscious effort to build the relationship
• At the same time, dont force it

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Traits of a Mentor

• Be available, especially in times of need.
  Emergencies happen. Provide emotional support.
• Set ground rules and limits
• Respect confidentiality

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Traits of a Mentor

• Set realistic expectations for the relationship,
  for mentee achievement, and for your own
  involvement
• Listen with empathy (Active Listening)
• Be open-minded to mentees needs and opinions

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Traits of a Mentor

• Provide encouragement
• Alert the mentee to existing or developing
  opportunities that will help the mentee explore
  options
• Share information on ones own successes and
  failures as appropriate
• Give and receiving constructive feedback when
  needed

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In Summary A Mentor will

• Listen
• Lend Support
• Challenge you
• Motivate you
• Guide
• Collaborate
• Evolve his or her mentees
• Ask powerful questions
• Understand
• Strategize

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Traits of a Mentee

• Dont waste mentors time
• Keep appointments
• Come prepared
• Respect confidentiality
• Dont expect to be given the answers. This is a
  process of self discovery

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Traits of a Mentee

• Learn and practice self-empowering behaviors
• Do expect to be given options
• Set realistic expectations
• Be open to feedback. Dont be too sensitive. You
  may have to deal with some harsh realities.
  Expect to have your character flaws exposed. This
  can be a very sobering experience

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Traits of a Mentee

• Can fit into the Mentors schedule for time and
  place of meetings
• Can accomplish homework assignments
• Will devote the time necessary to research and
  study
• Can become a prolific reader

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Traits of a Mentee

• If you want to be mentored, you must place
  yourself in a position to be mentored by the
  right person.
• You must demonstrate the abilities and the
  potential that a mentor would seek. And sometimes
  you just have to ask.
• If the answer is no, then you have to ask what
  would make the answer yes?

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Healthy Mentoring Relationships

• Freedom from fear leeway to be creative make
  mistakes without retribution
• Two-way communication active listening same
  frame of reference same level same language
  consider Gen-x, Gen-y, etc.
• Interaction real face time quality time
• Acceptance of the person open mind out of the
  box thinking.

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Healthy Mentoring Relationships

• Personal Involvement 8/24 syndrome interest in
  the person value of diversity
• Trust mutual respect honesty
• Honesty always! free to speak fearlessly
• Self esteem respect for self confidence
  something of value to offer.

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Healthy Mentoring Relationships

• Personal and professional Development right
  assignments appropriate feedback understanding
  goals (setting appropriate goals) identifying
  weaknesses finding training setting a career
  path
• Specific to personality type not all
  personalities blend well

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Mentor Rules

• Only work with positive people who are ready to
  take responsibility for their own growth and
  development.
• Only work with people who are sincere in wanting
  to engage in self improvement. Being mentored is
  not a magic bullet or just a ticket to get
  punched.
• Understand that they are not yours they can
  have other mentors.

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Mentor Rules

• Goal must be to make them the best they can be,
  not create clones of yourself.
• Never, ever, ever, have a personal relationship
  with a mentee.
• Establish boundaries both personal and
  professional.

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Mentor Rules

• Under promise and over produce.
• Dont award inappropriately.
• Dont withhold deserved or promised rewards.
• Remain objective, understand the mentees
  limitations be frank about them.

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Mentor Rules

• Do not be afraid to address sensitive issues but
  learn to be tactful and considerate of others
  feelings
• Be an example. Your actions will always speak
  louder than your words.
• Your mentee will be a reflection of you, but so
  are your children. Dont let what they do reflect
  badly on you if you can help it. Be cautious who
  you select. If the relationship is not working,
  end it.

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Mentor Rules

• Be open and transparent enough to be humble about
  your role. Share past struggles when appropriate,
  but dont let the discussion be about you.
• As a teacher, be prepared to explain why
  something is important and to demonstrate
  practically how to put it to good use. Do not
  preach or live exclusively within theory.

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Mentor Rules

• Believe in your mentees ability to succeed. If
  you do not have confidence in them, do not mentor
  them.
• Help the mentee develop their dream. Some people
  are afraid to dream. Help them set their creative
  spirit free.
• Be successful in the protégés eyes. Always be
  the person they want to become.

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Mentor Rules

• Be teachable show that you can learn from anyone
  including the mentee. This is a corollary to the
  be an example rule.

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Mentoring Traps

• Hiring/mentoring wrong people
• Implying awards you cant deliver (raises,
  bonuses, promotions)
• Becoming autocratic (causes loss of trust)
• Being impatient (sends message you believe
  employee is stupid)
• Focusing on attitude (should focus on behavior)
• Ignoring real problems

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Mentoring Traps

• Dominating the discussion
• Not seeing the individual
• Shifting the attention from employees
  performance problems to your problems or
  feelings.
• Trying to solve problems without addressing the
  nature (admitting there even is a problem)
• Dictating the action plan without buy-in

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Mentoring Traps

• Getting too involved
• Getting personally/emotionally involved
• Not dealing with the problem at all.
• Not Respecting Diversity
• Not Respecting Gender issues
• Not Respecting Generational issues

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Does Age Matter?

• Mentors need not be older, just more experienced
• If you are over 40, odds are that someone younger
  than you has taught you to use a computer.

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What Mentoring is NOT

• Solely focused on career enhancement, (should be
  focused on personal development career
  enhancement will follow)
• Being a protector and sponsor (if you develop a
  proper character, people will automatically
  protect and sponsor)
• Clone-making (common vision mission is
  important even more so for values, but cookie
  cutter employees are a detriment. Leads to
  group-think)

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What Mentoring is NOT

• Just for high-pots (cant be elitist need to
  develop varied talents. Think of analogy of chain
  with weakest link)
• Just another programme de jour
• Used to transfer skills before a big layoff
• Used to create a forced relationship must be
  voluntary

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What Mentoring is NOT

• Ignorant of the broader organizational issues
• Highly structured cookie cutter sessions
• Designed to pigeon-hole employees
• Passive (must be active, adaptable, custom
  tailored)
• Limited to good ole boys (must respect
  diversity)

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Power Mentoring Questions

• Can you walk me through the problem-how it
  started and how it got to this point?
• Outline for me what you have done to deal with
  the problem so far? How has that worked?
• Have you ever seen or dealt with a similar
  problem? What happened in that case?

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Power Mentoring Questions

• Can you prioritize the main obstacles you seem to
  be facing?
• Which options have you considered? What are the
  advantages and disadvantages of each?
• Describe how your thoughts and feelings would
  change if you were on the opposite side in this
  problem. Does that suggest any steps you might
  consider?

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Results?

• The resulting discussion will often lead the
  mentee to solve his or her own problem, and the
  solution will be one he or she will own-having
  helped to create it independently.
• Leeds, Dorothy. The 7 Powers of Questions
  Secrets to Successful Communication in Life and
  at Work. Perigee Books (New York, 2000).
  Pg-204-6.

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Mentoring Never Stops

• As the developers of leaders, we must keep our
  people growing. We must model growth, encourage
  it, and reward it. We must show our people how to
  keep growing for the long haul. They are to be
  like trees which grow their entire lives. There
  is no such thing as a full-grown tree. The day a
  tree stops growing is the day it dies.
• Maxwell, John C., Developing the Leaders Around
  You, (Nashville Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1995
  Omnibus edition, 2000) p. 120.

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• "The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher
  explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The
  great teacher inspires." William Ward Texas
  Wesleyan University Administrator

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• "If your actions inspire others to dream more,
  learn more, do more and become more, you are a
  leader." John Quincy Adams, 6th US president

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The Brain Trust

• Gathering like-minded people around you
• Mental stimulation
• Brainstorming
• Varied skills
• Also called Masterminding groups Life Coaching
  Team Personal Think Tank

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The Brain Trust

• If you can find a mentor that meets all of your
  criteria, should you involve them?
• If they are not disruptive or negative.
• If they have at least some value-added (other
  than being a bad example)
• If you never forget their limitations.
• If they have good character.
• No one is perfect no one is totally useless. It
  is always a matter of degrees.

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The Brain Trust

• Symbiotic if becomes parasitic, it must end
• Positive in attitude, punctuality, and feedback
• Some level of proven success
• Broad cross section of life experiences
• Similar character focus
• Ability to brainstorm

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• "You can discover more about a person in an hour
  of play than in a year of conversation."
  Plato, Philosopher

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The Brain Trust

• Take good notes compare notes further foster
  ideas
• Use as a source of contacts/networking
• Mix or personality types Meyers Briggs Discover
  your strengths
• Place to share goals refine goals develop BHAGs
  so no dream killers
• Study group

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The Brain Trust

• Sum is greater than the parts
• Regularly scheduled meetings keep notes/minutes
• Invite guest speakers
• Concentrate buying power

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Who Have you Mentored for NCMA?

• Have you invited someone to pursue a career in
  Contract Management?
• Have you facilitated the professional development
  of you companys Contract Management
  Professionals?
• Charles Kettering, the inventor of the electric
  starter for automobiles said, We ought to be
  interested in the future because that is where we
  will spend the rest of our lives.

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Closing Thoughts

• Theres no such thing as the perfect Mentor
• There is no such thing as the perfect Mentee
• If given a palette of colors and asked to paint a
  mentor every one would be different
• Selecting, serving, and excelling as a mentor or
  a mentee is an art a dance a grand theatrical
  performance.
• PERFORM WELL