Principle Centered Surthrival Skills:

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Principle CenteredSurthrival Skills

• How to juggle without
• Losing your balance!
• Stevan J. Kukic, Ph.D.
• Vice President
• Sopris West Educational Services
• stevek_at_sopriswest.com

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THE THREE CONSTANTS

• CHANGE
• PRINCIPLES
• CHOICE

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Pictures of the year by NBC
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Palestine School
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Pictures of the year by NBC
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No child left behind
No teacher left unsupported!
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A pat on the back isnt necessarily a good thing.
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I know God wont give me anything I cant
handle. I just wish he didnt trust me so
much. Mother Teresa
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Life is inconvenient. Life is lumpy.
Learn to separate the inconveniences from the
real problems. You will live longer. And will not
annoy people like me so much. Good night.
A lump in the oatmeal, a lump in the throat, and
a lump in the breast are not the same lump. One
should learn the difference. Good night, Sig.
The Sigmund Wollman Reality Test-Robert Fulghum
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Life is difficult.
Once we truly know that life is difficult-once
we truly understand and accept it-then life is no
longer difficult. Because once it is accepted,
the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.
Life is a series of problems.
Do we want to moan about them or solve them? Do
we want to teach our children to solve them?
Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled
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I don't need time. What I need is a deadline.
-Duke Ellington, jazz pianist, composer, and
conductor (1899-1974)
 
 
 
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"I don't need deadlines, I need more time."
-- Steve Mitchell,  founder of the
"no-initiatives initiative", aka Dr. Bogey Bogey
and Mr. Sensitivity.  
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Rx for Self Esteem
Handling stress before it handles us.Bert
Simmons 3/90

• Work it out
• Accept those things we cannot change.
• Learn to deal with ambiguity.
• Admit that everyone needs help.
• Take one step at a time.
• Give in once in awhile.
• Remember how long you are dead!

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Stress Diet

• Breakfast
• ½ grapefruit
• 1 slice whole wheat toast
• 8 oz. Skim milk
• Lunch
• 4 oz. Lean broiled chicken breast
• 1 cup steamed zucchini
• 1 Oreo cookie
• herb tea
• Mid-Afternoon Snack
• rest of package of Oreos
• 1 qt. Rocky Road ice cream
• 1 jar hot fudge
• Dinner
• 2 loaves garlic bread
• 1 large pepperoni and mushroom pizza
• 3 Milky Way candy bars
• 1 entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly
  from freezer

• Diet Tips
• If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
• If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they
  cancel each other out.
• When eating with someone else, calories dont
  count if you both eat the same amount.
• Food used for medicinal purposes never counts,
  such as hot chocolate, toast, Boston Coolers, and
  Sara Lee Cheesecake.
• If you fatten up everyone else around you, you
  will look thinner.
• Movie-related foods dont count because they are
  simply part of the entire entertainment
  experience and not part of ones personal fuel
  intake. Such foods include, but no limited to,
  Milk Duds, hot buttered popcorn, Junior Mints,
  and red licorice.
• Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of
  breakage causes caloric leakage.

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Someone sent me an article that said the way to
achieve inner peace is to finish things you've
started. I am now making a point of always
finishing what I start and I think I am well on
my way toward finding inner peace. Because I
care for you, I am passing this wisdom on to
you. Here are the things that I have finished
today Two bags of potato chips, A strawberry
cheesecake, A package of Oreos, A bottle of
wine and a small box of chocolates. I think this
really works because I feel better already.
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No matter where you go, there you are.
Buckaroo Bonsai
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GET OVER IT!
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SURTHRIVAL
The fine art of growing, no matter what a
situation and/or other people throw at you.
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SEE
DO
GET
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Trustworthiness

• Character
• Integrity
• Maturity
• Abundance Mentality

• Competence
• Technical
• Conceptual
• Interdependency

Judgment
1993 Covey Leadership Center, Inc.
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Abraham Maslow,

• One of the fathers of modern psychology,
  developed a needs hierarchy in which he
  identified self-actualization as the highest
  human experience. But in his last years, he
  acknowledged that his peak experience was not
  self-actualization but self-transcendence, or
  living for a purpose higher than self.
  --Maslow 1968

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COVEYS 4 BASIC NEEDS
SURTHRIVAL 101
What are you doing to LIVE? LOVE? LEARN? LEAVE
A LEGACY?
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Ask Yourself
How do these needs coalesce into your personal
mission? What is your personal mission?
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WE ARE ALWAYS EQUAL TO WHAT WE UNDERTAKE WITH
RESOLUTIONIT IS PART OF THE AMERICAN CHARACTER
TO CONSIDER NOTHING AS DESPERATE TO SURMOUNT
EVERY DIFFICULTY BY RESOLUTION AND
CONTRIVANCE. THOMAS JEFFERSON TO HIS DAUGHTER
PATSY MARCH 28, 1787
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Balance is the Key to Resiliency

• SELF

Spiritual Center
COMMUNITY PROFESSION
FAMILY FRIENDS
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On Being a Tragic Optimist
SURTHRIVAL 101

• Prolonged unhappiness SUCKS and is not
  Productive!
• How are you working hard to be unhappy?
• How have you accessed joy in adversity?
• What is the funniest thing that has happened to
  you in a stressful situation?
• How are you working to grow deep and not just
  tall?
• What are you doing to be a tragic optimist?

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Tragic Optimism

• An optimism in the face of tragedy and in view of
  the human potential which, at its best, always
  allows for
• Turning suffering into human achievement and
  accomplishment
• Deriving from guilt, the opportunity to change
  oneself for the better and
• Deriving from lifes transitoriness, an incentive
  to take responsible action.
• Viktor E.
  Frankl, Mans Search For Meaning page 162

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When Life Gives You Scraps
MAKE QUILTS!
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The Capacity for paradox is the measure
of spiritual strength and the surest sign of
maturity.
Owning Your Own Shadow Robert A. Johnson 1991
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The 4 Agreements
Ruiz, 1997

• Be impeccable with your word.
• Dont take anything personally.
• Dont make assumptions.
• Always do your best.

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When you are being run out of town, make it
look like a parade.
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Brendtro, et al., 1990
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Applying Brendtro's ValuestoYour Own Resilience
SURTHRIVAL 101

• Belonging
• What are you doing to improve your sense of
  belonging?
• Mastery
• What can you do to achieve at higher levels?
• Independence
• What ways do you feel a sense of autonomy?
• Generosity
• How are you being altruistic?

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ODYSSEY, Pepsi to Applea Journey of Adventure,
Ideas, and the Future
The Best way to predict the future is to invent
it. John Sculley, 1987
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The complex difficulties of education for a
learning society
have no chance whatsoever of being
addressed in
the absence of alliances.
Fullan, 1993
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INTERAGENCY COOPERATION- is a process of working
together informally to achieve the day-to-day
goals of the organizations.
INTERAGENCY COORDINATION- is a formalized process
of adjustment or utilization of existing
resourcesto accommodate the procedures an
activities of other agencies.
INTERAGENCY COLLABORATION- is an intensive and
jointly planned effort by organizations over a
mutual concern that results in a mutually desired
outcome.
Black Kase, 1963
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The Laws of the Fifth Discipline

• Todays problems come from yesterdays
  solutions.
• The harder you push, the harder the system pushes
  back.
• Behavior grows better before it grows worse.
• The easy way out usually leads back in.
• The cure can be worse than the disease.
• Faster is slower.
• Cause and effect are not closely related in time
  and space.
• Small changes can produce big resultsbut the
  areas of highest leverage are often the least
  obvious.
• You can have your cake and eat it toobut not at
  once.
• Dividing an elephant in half does not produce two
  small elephants.
• There is no blame.
  Senge, 1990

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15 Top Take-Home Lesson from Great Groups

• Greatness starts with superb people.
• Every Great Group has a strong leader.
• Great groups and great leaders create each other.
• The leaders of Great Groups love talent and know
  where to find it.
• Great Groups are full of talented people who can
  work together.
• Great Groups think they are on a mission from
  God.
• Every Great Group is an island with a bridge to
  the mainland.
• Great Groups see themselves as winning underdogs.
• Great Groups always have an enemy.
• People in Great Groups have blinders on.
• Great groups are optimistic, not realistic.
• In Great groups the right person has the right
  job.
• The leaders give people what they need and free
  them from the rest.
• Great Groups ship.
• Great work is its own reward. Great Groups are
  engaged in solving hard, meaningful problems.
  
• Warren Bennis Patricia Biederman, 1997

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FACT Service ModelALL TO SUPPORT FAMILIES
State Hospital Residential Placement Group Homes
Local Interagency Councils
Coordinating Council for People with
Disabilities
Intensive Treatment
Foster Care, Respite Care, Special Ed, Childrens
Special Health Services, Childrens Mental Health
Juvenile Court Services
Treatment Resource Assistance
COMMUNITY-BASED COLLABORATIVE SERVICE DELIVERY
SYSTEMS
FACT Site-Based projects Success by Six
WIC, Family Support Centers Baby your Baby
Prevention Early
Intervention
Physical, Educational,
Social Development
Schools, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Churches, Civic
Groups, Well Child Care
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FACT DOs DONTsTop 10 List

• DONT
• DONT view collaboration as a project.
• DONT focus too long on pilot projects.
• DONT mistake these for outcome measures.
• DONT use service volume data as your outcome
  measure.
• DONT allow collaboration to be an excuse to cut
  funds or reorganize agencies.
• DONT prescribe models of service delivery.
• DONT settle for token involvement.
• DONT let them define your limits.
• DONT mistake lack of vision for chaos.
• DONT take yourselves too seriously.

• DO
• 10. DO view collaboration as a way of doing
  business.
• 9. DO take big risks.
• 8. DO establish and monitor core principles of
  service delivery.
• 7. DO measure progress by frequently assessing
  desired outcomes for children and families.
• 6. DO keep the pressure on decision makers.
• 5. DO let communities define the how.
• 4. DO involve families at every level.
• 3. DO involve budget and data staff.
• 2. DO expect and facilitate chaos.
• 1. DO find sex or rock n roll in everything.

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Tend the CHAOS, Dont Manage it!
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Groupthink and Balkanization are the nemesis of
hyper-Collaboration. Fullan, 1993
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The problem
Building the plane while its flying.
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Orbiting is responsible creativity Exploring and
operating beyond the Hairball of corporate
mindset, beyond accepted models, patterns, or
standards all while remaining connected to the
spirit of the corporate mission. MacKenzie, 1996
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To be fully free to create, we must first find
the courage and willingness to let go Let go of
the strategies that have worked for us in the
past Let go of our biases, the foundation of our
illusions Let go of our grievances, the root
source of our victimhood Let go of our so often
denied fear of being found unlovable. If you stop
letting go, your creative spirit will pass
out. MacKenzie, 1996
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The Paradoxical Commandments of Leadership

by Kent Keith

• People are illogical, unreasonable, and
  self-centered love them anyway.
• If you do good, people will accuse you of
  selfish, ulterior motives do good anyway.
• If you are successful, you win false friends and
  true enemies succeed anyway.
• The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow
  do good anyway.
• Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable be
  honest and frank anyway.
• The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas
  can be shot down by the smallest minds think big
  anyway.
• People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs
  fight for a few underdogs anyway.
• What you spend years building may be destroyed
  overnight build anyway.
• Give the world the best you have and youll get
  kicked in the teeth give the world the best you
  have anyway.

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Leadership (and training) is like herding cats.
Warren Bennis
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One day the family dog wakes up and thinks, You
know, these people feed me, pet me, play with me,
give me everything I need
These people must be gods! The same
day the family cat wakes up and
thinks, You know, these people feed me, pet me,
play with me, give me everything I needI must be
god!
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Teamwork
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Pictures of the year by NBC
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Wasatch Princess Magnolia
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Things We Can Learn from a Dog Never pass up the
opportunity to go for a joy ride. Allow the
experience of fresh air and the wind in your face
to be pure ecstasy. When loved ones come home,
always run to meet them. When it is in your best
interest, practice obedience. Let others know
when they invades your territory. Take naps and
stretch before rising. Run, romp, and play
daily. Be loyal Never pretend to be something you
are not. If you want lies buried, dig till you
find it. When someone is having a bad day, be
silent, sit closely, and nuzzle them
gently. Thrive on attention and let people touch
you.
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Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. On hot
days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady
tree. When you are happy, dance around and wag
your entire body. No matter how often you are
scolded, dont buy into the guilt thing and
pout. Bond with your pack. Delight in the simple
joy of a long walk. --Ruth Carter, 1998
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Grow Deep
NOT JUST TALL
By Karen Kaiser Clark
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Like wind rustling my leaves and bending by
boughs, life flows from season to season. Even in
the darkness it moves on, straining for the
light. Unfailingly, the night gives in to
dawn. Life is ever changing, always new. Many
yesterdays slip into today. Yet, each sunrise
offers a fresh new day. Tomorrow can never be now
and for one of usmay never be known. Make the
most of your moments and remember, change is not
merely necessary for life, Life is
change Growth is optional
Choose wisely.
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The Secret O Life by James Taylor    The secret
o life is enjoying the passage of time. Any fool
can do it. There aint nothin to it.   Nobody
knows how we got to the top of the hill. Since
were on our way down, we might as well enjoy the
ride.   The secret o love is in opening up your
heart. Its okay to feel afraid. Dont let that
stand in your way. Cause anyone knows that love
is the only road.   Since were only here for a
while, might as well show some style. Give us a
smile.   Isnt it a lovely ride? Slidin down,
glidin down. Try not to try too hard. Its just
a lovely ride.    
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Now, the thing about time is that time isnt
really real. Its just your point of view. How
does it feel for you? Einstein said he could
never understand it all. Planets are spinning
through space. Smile upon your face. Welcome to
the human race.   Some kind of lovely ride. Ill
be slidin down, Ill be glidin down. Try not to
try too hard. Its just a lovely ride.  Isnt it
a lovely ride? See me slidin down, glidin
down. Try not to try too hard. Its just a
lovely ride.   The secret o life is enjoying the
passage of time.