Revision Strategies

1
Revision Strategies

• How can we make our writing stronger and more
  polished?

2
What are we aiming for here?

• We want language that is
• Clean
• Clear
• Direct
• The language used should be appropriate to the
  narratoryou!

3
Common Mistake 1

• Redundant words or phrases
• He (five times in three sentences)
• With his own two eyes
• Sneaky and suspicious

4
Common Mistake 2

• Unnecessary words, especially adverbs
• He tiptoed quietly
• He couldnt really believe it
• He thought wonderingly

5
Common Mistake 3

• Passive, ineffective verbs
• He thought maybe he was actually crazy.
• It looked like a body . . .
• Seemed to be acting . . .
• Maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him.

6
Revision Strategies

• Replace redundant words and phrases
• Underline and scrutinize adverbs
• Delete unnecessary words, altering sentences as
  required
• Read aloud and listen for awkwardness
• Put verbs to work

7
How did I do this?

• Kelly waited in the smelly station for the
  local, which as usual took forever to arrive. She
  stepped into the closest car and sat down. At 3
  a.m. the train was empty. Probably shed get off
  at 34th Street and look at the Christmas
  decorations at Macys. Her mother would never
  find her there. Kelly had left a goodbye note in
  the middle of the dining room table in it she
  said she was visiting a friend in Van Cortland
  Park.