Families in Social Systems Families as Systems 44

1
Families in Social Systems Families as Systems
(4/4)

• Macro-systems What are the Forces Changing the
  Traditional Family?
• What are the Virtues and Vices of the Traditional
  Family?
• Micro-systems Co-dependency -- What Is the
  Dynamic of a Sick Family?

2
Strain on the American Family (review)

• An indicator divorce
• Divorce rates the WWII spike the 1970s
  1980s bulge the 1990s decline.
• Disappearance of the Homemaker-breadwinner family
• The 2nd shift ambivalent and dysfunctional
  families.
• Conservative and liberal explanations
• Cultural change feminism, change of norms.
• Culture lag structure has changed, and norms
  (often male-dominant) have not.

3
Conservative Accounts of weakening of the family

• E.g. the Family Research Council
• The sexual revolution
• Feminism
• Breakdown of moral values
• Sociologically, to anomie.
• Politically, they believe there has been too much
  change in gender norms.

4
e.g. Charles Murray

• If we eliminate all welfare or other aid from the
  state, and all paternity obligations (unless the
  father is married to the mother), then women will
  stop having fatherless children.
• Note the thrust of much of the analysis is to
  re-establish the double standard.
• If we allow each community to enforce its norms
  as they like,
• The family will become strong, and
• everyone will be better off.

5
Liberal Accounts of weakening of the family

• Other theorists view the diversity of family
  forms as adaptation to (often intolerable)
  circumstances. They stress
• The traditional family had problems.
• Cumulating effects of slavery and of poverty.
• Difficulty supporting a family at or near the
  minimum wage,
• Their basic diagnosis unmet needs and lack of
  opportunities Its jobs, stupid.
• Sociologically, strain results from alienation.
• Politically, they believe there has been too
  little change in gender norms.

6
e.g.1 S. Coontz The Way We Never Were (1992)
The Way We Really Are (1997)

• There is no one size fits all family willows
  have different needs and parasites than elms.
• Ozzie and Harriet was like a beer commercial.
• We need to work with what we have got.
• People usually dont take on responsibilities
  they know they cannot meet.
• Pro-family should mean pro-child.
• How little we do for children (compared, say to
  W. Europe) is a disgrace.

7
e.g. 2 The Gores

• Joined at the Heart
• Emphasizes that the divorce rate has been
  declining since 1980.
• Argues that the best thing we can do for the
  family is to celebrate differences,
• such as blended or gay families.
• Emphasizes the economic stresses on families
• Failure to address structural problems such as
  minimum wage, while privileging the middle class
  family, merely adds stigma to strain.

8
2 giant systemic forces

• Probably irreversibly change the family
• Structural differentiation
• Functions that used to be performed by
  undifferentiated kin groups are better performed
  by specialized organizations
• Hospitals, football teams
• Capitalist Labor markets
• Men left the family farm for the paid labor
  market in the 19th c.
• Women entered the paid labor market in the
  mid-20th c.

9
The B-H family is gone

• Neither structural differentiation nor the
  capitalist labor market are going to go away.
• And they involved powerful forces that continue
  to operate. We cant go home again

10
Both the traditionalists and liberals may be right

• Both modern and traditional families may be
  stable and functional.
• Recall that this is what Hochschild found.
• Other aspects of the society may be key to which
  ones work best.
• The transition from one to the other may be very
  turbulent and difficult.

11
Does stigma work? Do liberal child allowances
promote divorce?

• I do not know. I doubt it.
• Spain, Italy, Greece and Turkey have very low
  divorce rates,
• but compared to the US they often have high,
  unconditional child allowances,
• and the Netherlands and Scandinavian countries
  also have much lower divorce rates than the US.

12
Norms and structure

Behavior
Norms

• Norms always constitute a positive feedback loop
  What many people do becomes normal what is
  normal becomes normative.
• But that explanation just changes the question to
  why what many people did changed.
• What is the effect of increasing stigma without
  changing the conditions of the behavior?
• Why do norms change?

13
Stigma and norms

Secondary Deviance
Stigma

• A disadvantage of normative controls is that
  stigma often leads to secondary deviance.
• Reinforced by
• Unintended consequences
• Self-fulfilling prophecies
• Stratification, privilege and power.

14
Other social trends changing Gender roles

• Life Expectancy
• Sexual revolution
• Social equality (organic solidarity, companionate
  marriage)
• Education
• In the last 20 years, economic forces (combined
  with parents desire not to give their children
  less than they got) have probably been the main
  driving force.

15
Political disagreements about family policy

• Often the liberal view of pro-family policy
  involves things like wage policies that seem
  utterly irrelevant to those who view the problem
  as normative.
• However, in all times economic forces and changes
  have driven many of the changes in the family.
• Failing to address these forces, while
  privileging certain forms of family may be
  counter-productive.

16
Recent forces on women working

• The driving economic forces of the recent
  transformation
• Many women had to work because nonsupervisory
  real wages declined.
• There has been increased contribution of spouses
• Increased labor force participation  has
  counterbalanced declining wages.
• Thee changes have been a major force producing
  dysfunctional families there is rapid change
  which is constrained by the whip of poverty.
• Probably the effect of womens working depends
  not only on the family response, but also on
  whether it is constrained push or opportunity
  pull motivated.

17
Family Systems

• The Family is an institution which is
  systemically interconnected with the rest of
  society.
• A family is a system with its own internal
  self-maintaining and self-reinforcing dynamics.
• Looking at family pathologies at both levels is
  an interesting case.

18
The Family as a micro-system e.g. John Bradshaw

• Theorist of family systems
• Guru of the self-help movement e.g.
• The Family (1988)
• Homecoming Reclaiming the Inner Child (1990)
• The Dark Side of the Inner Child (1994)
• Family Secrets Path to Self-Acceptance (1995)
• The Core of Spirituality (1996)
• The Price of Nice (1997)

19
The concept of co-dependency

• If one person in a family is sick (e.g. is an
  addict) then the roles and hence the thinking and
  personality of everyone in the family will be
  distorted.
• It is often argued that the distortion is
• Self-maintaining and self-reinforcing
• So that children who grow up in sick families
  have sick families,
• Even if they are not themselves addicted.

20
Expansion of the concept of Addiction

• A self-reinforcing, mood-altering, destructive
  experience
• Besides alcohol, heroin, crack etc.
• Rage and violence
• Gambling
• Many kinds of food experiences
• Many kinds of sex experiences
• Many kinds of work experiences
• Many kind of religious experiences.

21
Distortions from addictions

• Is it possible for dad to be an alcoholic without
  serious effects on his performance of the role of
  dad?
• The same goes for mom or junior
• The same goes for Heroin, crack, gambling or any
  other addiction.
• Probably not.
• Examples unreliability, honesty, absence,
  violence, earnings, consistency

22
Distortions from co-dependency

• Dad
• Unreliable
• Dishonest
• Absent
• Violent
• Spendthrift
• Inconsistent

• Mom
• Over-extended
• Suspicious
• Controlling
• Timid
• Miserly
• Rigid

23
Personality traits often associated with Growing
up with addictions

• Fear of abandonment
• Controlling
• Trouble maintaining boundaries
• Dissociated from feelings
• Reactive
• Trust problems
• Compulsive/addictive traits.

24
The concept of enabling

• Adaptations to a crazy situation will usually
  help maintain that situation. E.g.
• Often, until the co-dependent can let the addict
  hit bottom the addict cannot get well.

Dad is a bum
Mom gets a job

25
The concept of dysfunctional adaptation

• Adaptations to a crazy situation will often
  reinforce the situation. E.g.
• Often, the co-dependent may have many traits that
  are dysfunctional and that help generate the
  behavior.
• Many role traits are central character traits
  that are capable of complementary schismogenesis.

Mom walks on eggshells and avoids anger
Dad goes into violent rages

26
The concept of a Dysfunctional family

• It is a considerable and problematic extension to
  suppose that many dysfunctional adaptations to
  many addictions are similar
• and reinforce each other.
• But it is probably a useful set of working
  hypotheses.
• Note that what is functional in one circumstance
  may be dysfunctional in others.

27
Prospect

• For next week
• Review ch. 11-14
• Read Pettigrew Thinking in systems terms
  (electronic reserve)
• Quiz