Show, Dont Tell

1
Show, Dont Tell!

• Or How to write narratives in a more vivid and
  interesting way.

2
The Basics

• Showing will use sensory information.
• Showing will use active, specific verbs.
• Showing will usually incorporate dialogue.
• Showing will utilize imagery (word pictures).
• Showing will have a close psychic distance (well
  explain this one later).

3
Using Sensory Information

• Telling sensory information usually consists of
  simplistic statements, such as it smelled, he
  coughed, or she looked pretty. See what
  happens when we SHOW these things instead
• My nostrils constricted in an effort to keep the
  noxious vapor from assaulting my lungs.
• His throat made a sound like a blocked toilet as
  he hacked into his hanky.
• It was as if all the light in the room centered
  on her, luminous and incandescent the sun of a
  small galaxy.

4
Using Active Verbs

• Verbs can be incredibly specificso why not pick
  the one that best applies to your situation?
• Think, for instance, about walking. You could
  stride, meander, ramble, amble, gambol, sashay,
  strut, stumble, skip, misstep, glide, stroll,
  hike, wander, float, or mosey. Most verbs have
  variations in meaning, so spend a little time
  looking for the right one!

5
Using Dialogue

• You jerk! she screamed. Take all of this
  garbage and leave! I never want to see you again!
  Look out below!
• But, baby, listen, he pleaded. It was all a
  mistakewait! Wait! Dont throw the stereo!
• Dont you baby me! she shrieked. So, what
  do you think? Think your Cardinals Commemorative
  Bier stein can bounce? Bonsai!

• They had an awful fight. She threw all of his
  stuff out the window.

6

• Dialogue can also be useful in less dramatic
  circumstances.
• How was school?
• Fine.
• And how was practice?
• Fine.
• How are your grades?
• Fine.
• And that nice girl--?
• Shes fine.
• Is that all you have to say about everything
  that happened today?
• Yeah.
• Could you please tell me something with a little
  detail?
• I dunno.
• For Petes sake! I could have a better
  conversation with the dog!
• Isnt that much more effective than his vague
  answers irritated her?

7
Using Imagery

• This is the fancy, poetic wording (hence the
  phrase word picture) that will really help fill
  in the scenery and other sensory information. For
  example
• Comprehension arrived like the spring. After a
  semester of winter, the formulas suddenly bloomed
  forth in vivid detail. She understood
  trigonometry at last!

8
More imagery

• The mountains rushed into the sky, sheer and
  immoveable. Her lungs filled with air so
  crystalline it revitalized her weary, aching
  muscles, and she longed to climb higher, to reach
  the peak above the clouds where the world was
  carpeted with ghosts of rain and bathed in
  blazing sunlight.

9
Psychic Distance, or How close the reader is to
whats happening

• For personal essays, it is important that the
  reader feel connected to the writer. How
  connected do you feel to this?
• A man stepped out into the storm.
• Pretty vague, right? The psychic distance is,
  well, distant. Its hard to care about whats
  happening.

10
Lets try this

• Chris squinted his eyes against the driving rain.
• Thats much closer, right? We have a name and a
  little sensory detail. What about this?
• I was soaked within seconds. Splashing across the
  parking lot in my soggy jeans and swamped
  sneakers, eyes squinched against the onslaught of
  needle-like drops, pores contracting lest they,
  too, become waterlogged, I silently cursed myself
  for being too cool to carry an umbrella.

11
Get it?

• SHOWING lets your reader into your experienceso
  work with the prompts provided and see what you
  can do!