GIFTS DIFFERING

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GIFTS DIFFERING
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COMMUNICATION..
THREE CORE ELEMENTS
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OBJECTIVES...

• To build on relationship skills already
  developed
• To understand and appreciate the differences
  between peoples communication styles
• To choose to Utilise these differences in a
  positive and constructive way both
  professionally and personally

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GIFTS DIFFERING
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ABOUT PEOPLE HUMAN NATURE

• People have comfort rooms in which they live
  Habits of thinking and acting.
• People see life through the windows of their
  comfort rooms.
• People get uncomfortable when pushed out of
  their comfort rooms.
• People do things motivated by the needs and
  feelings they experience in their comfort
  rooms.

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ABOUT PEOPLE HUMAN NATURE

• Peoples needs and feelings their
  self-interest WIIFM
• We think about ourselves 98 of the time
• People do the things they do for emotional
  reasons then justify it with logic after
• Nobody has ever made a truly logical decision
  to do anything
• People do things for their reasons - not
  yours...

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IS AND ISNT...

• Doesnt Explain Everything
• Doesnt tell if one is sick or healthy
• Does Address Preference - not ability
• Adults typically use all preferences in daily
  life

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IS AND ISNT...

• We continue to develop our type and learn
  to express different aspects of it
  throughout our lives
• It is General, more like a postal code
  than an address.
• It helps us to understand certain behaviours
  in ourselves and others that we may not have
  understood before.

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Philosophy...

• So much of our time
• is taken up with struggling for agreement...
• We do not have to agree with each other.
• Understanding each other is far more important
• than agreeing with each other...

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LETS BEGIN...
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PREFERENCES...
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• Communication STYLES...

WE COMMUNICATE WITH OTHERS THE WAY WE WOULD LIKE
TO BE COMMUNICATED TO ...
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Our peacock...

• STRONG VOICE
• UNSELFCONSCIOUS
• TALKS FAST
• OUTSPOKEN
• POOR LISTENER
• DRAMATIC
• EXPRESSIVE AND FAST GESTURES
• EXAGGERATES
• HUMOROUS
• TELLS JOKES
• HAPPY TO BE THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION
• CONVERSATION SKIPS ALL OVER THE PLACE
• THEY TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES

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Our OWL...

• SOFTLY SPOKEN
• SELFCONSCIOUS
• QUIET
• GOOD LISTENER
• DIPLOMATIC
• CAN BE DETACHED
• PREOCCUPIED WITH THOUGHTS
• SLOWER TO RESPOND
• THEY TALK IN DETAILS
• THEY TALK IN LOGICAL PATTERNS
• THEY DONT TALK ABOUT EMOTIONS
• THEY CAN SEEM LIKE A CLOSED BOOK
• THEY GIVE YOU ALL THE FINE DETAILS

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Our EAGLE...

• STRONG VOICE
• UNSELFCONSIOUS
• QUICK
• TO THE POINT
• POOR LISTENER
• NO NONENSE
• THEY DONT TALK ABOUT EMOTIONS
• CAN SEEM COOL
• NO SMALL TALK
• CAN SEEM UNDIPLOMATIC
• TALKS FOR A RESULT
• LISTENS FOR WHAT THEY CAN USE
• THEY STICK TO BUSINESS

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Our DOVE...

• SOFTLEY SPOKEN
• SELFCONSCIOUS
• BASHFUL
• MODEST
• QUIET
• GOODLISTENER
• SLOWER BODY LANGUAGE
• EXPRESSIVE FACIAL GESTURES
• INTERESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE
• WILL TALK ABOUT FEELINGS
• EASY TO TALK TO
• CAN BE EASILY OFFENDED
• THEY ASK ABOUT YOUR WELLBEING

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• STYLES UNDER PRESSURE...

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• STYLES UNDER PRESSURE...

PRESSURE OCCURS WHEN WE BECOME FRUSTRATED.
STRESS OCURS WHEN OUR NORMAL WAY OF COPING WITH
THE FRUSTRATION DOES NOT WORK
STRESS
PRESSURE
COMFORT ZONE
WE ALL HAVE IN-BUILT STRATEGIES FOR HANDLING
PRESSURE AND STRESS WE USE BOTH FIGHT AND FLIGHT
TACTICS IN ORDER TO GET BACK TO OUR COMFORT
ZONES...
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Our peacock...
BECOMES NOISY AND DRAMATIC... THEN BECOMES
FRIENDLY I WAS ONLY JOKING
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Our OWL...
BECOMES CRITICAL AND WITHDRAWN THEN BECOMES
HEADSTRONG IM RIGHT AND YOURE WRONG
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Our EAGLE...
BECOMES BOSSY AND SARCASTIC... THEN AVOIDS OR
IGNORES MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY
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Our DOVE...
BECOMES SUBMISSIVE THEN BECOMES QUIETLY
STUBBORN OK, DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
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WHEN YOU FEEL YOU ARE BEING THREATENED...

• Hold your temper
• Stop your first instinctive reaction
• Think - use your brain - ask yourself
  questions - Why am I feeling the way I am? -
  What am I feeling and why? - What alternative
  ways can I look at this? - What are my response
  choices? - Which one do I choose and why ?

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WHEN YOU FEEL YOU ARE BEING THREATENED...

• Listen
• Thank
• Breathe
• Apologise
• Empathise
• Ask Questions
• Agree a Solution

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GIFTS DIFFERING

• YOU CAN GET ALMOST
• ANYTHING YOU WANT
• BY GIVING PEPLE
• WHAT THEY WANT

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GIFTS DIFFERING

• My Action Planand Points I Wish To Look At
  Again...

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GIFTS DIFFERING

• REMEMBEREMPATHY IS THE ABILITY TO WALK IN
  ANOTHER PERSONSS SHOES, BUT REMEMBER TO TAKE
  YOUR OWN OFF FIRST...

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GIFTS DIFFERING