BULLY OR VICTIM

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BULLY OR VICTIM

• Bully or Victim is a multi-media presentation by
  Roger Jones. This work is based on the Be Cool
  videos created by James Stanfield, Ed.D

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BULLYING DEFINED

• Bullying refers to an older or physically
  stronger person telling a younger or weaker
  person to do something which she/he doesnt want
  to do, with the threat of injury for not
  complying.

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Bullying Survey
Washington Post.com
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WHY BULLY

• To get things for themselves
• To make themselves feel better by demonstrating
  their power over others
• They may have been bullied and learned this way
  of acting

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DISGUISE OF STRENGTH
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DANGEROUS BULLYING

• Dangerous bullying refers to bullying which is
  likely to result in serious injury or death.

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INDICATORS OF DANGER

• Presence of a weapon or potential weapon (knife,
  bat, chain)
• Extreme anger in the bully
• History of injuring others
• Threats to injure

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COLD (PASSIVE)

• Head down no eye contact
• Body bent over
• Sad, or blank expression
• Timid body movement

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THINKING COLD

• I deserve to be treated this way.
• Theres nothing I can do about this.
• If I dont do what they say, Ill get hurt.

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ACTING COLD

• Do what the bully says.
• Mutter or speak with low voice volume

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DRAWBACKS

• More bullying
• Negative thoughts about self
• Feelings of anger
• Frustration or sadness

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HOT (AGGRESSIVE)

• Head up, glaring stare, too much eye contact
• Tense posture, clenched fists, tight muscles
• Angry, challenging facial expressions

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HOT THINKING

• If Im calm he wont listen to me.
• If I dont get mad and fight back hell get what
  he wants.
• Others will think Im a sissy if I dont fight
  back.

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ACTING HOT

• Speaking with elevated voice volume, yelling
• Speaking with hostile voice tone
• Making derogatory or threatening statements
• Hitting and fighting

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DRAWBACKS OF HOT

• Injury from fighting
• Retaliation from bully
• Feelings of anger
• Punishment from authority figures

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COOL(ASSERTIVE)

• Calm down
• gain composure
• pausing
• look or step away
• take deep breaths
• settling behaviors

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COOL CONTINUED

• Assuming a nonaggressive but confident expression
  (no smiling, no looks of fear or sadness)
• Good eye contact if necessary
• Walking confidently and self-assured

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COOL THINKING

• Decide is bully dangerous(can I get hurt(
• Is bully alone
• I know the bully
• No history of physical violence
• Potential for serious injury is small
• No alcohol or drugs

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ACTING COOL

• None dangerous bully
• Anti-victim strategies and ignore
• Stay cool
• Dont look or talk to bully.

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NONE DANGEROUS CONTINUED

• Stand ground, talk if possible(4 steps and in
  private if possible)
• Tell what you dont like
• Tell how his behavior makes you feel
• Tell what you want
• State consequences

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Dangerous Bully

• Leave and get help

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COOL BENEFITS

• Maintaining your right to choose
• Stopping bullying behavior toward you
• Improving self-esteem
• Protecting your self from injury

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BULLYS
Bud Bully

• Dont like themselves
• Trying to feel bigger by making me look smaller
• Usually dont want to fight
• If confronted, usually leave you alone

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CREDITS AND REFERENCES

• Be Cool Coping With Difficult People by James
  Stanfield, Ed.D
• James Stanfield Company, Inc., Santa Barbara, CA
• WWW.Free-Clipart.Net
• The Washington Post Online

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What do you do at the end ?