Bullyingwhat it is and how to prevent it

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Bullyingwhat it is and how to prevent it?

• Presenter Dr. Midge Mougey
• Jefferson Elementary
• North Platte, Nebraska 69101

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What is bullying?

• How does it look?
• How does it sound?
• How does it make you feel?

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Bullying is aggressive behavior that is
intentional and involves an imbalance of power or
strength.
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Bullying is aggressive behavior that is
intentional and involves an (intends to
intimidate, hurt, manipulate) imbalance of
power/strength. (Can be social statuscan be
real or imagined)
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Not everything is bullying! The three criteria
must be in place aggressive intentional
imbalance of power
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Some behavior is inappropriatebut not
bullying. Some behavior is meanbut not
bullying. Some behavior is nastybut not
bullying.
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Facts about bullying Most common form of
violence in our society Bullying is often a
factor in school related deaths. Direct
physical bullying increases in elementary
school, peaks in middle school and declines in
high school.
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More facts Verbal abuse remains constant
across age and grade levels. 15 of all school
absenteeism at school is directly related to
fear of attack or intimidation. Mean behavior
among kids is a universal problem.
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Early Signs of Bullying
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• Victims have trouble sleeping
• Try to avoid school
• Claim illness when nothing seems wrong
• Want you to drive them places when they could
  walk
• School work slides
• Avoid clubs, after school activities

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• Come home from school unhappy and wont say why
• Possessions frequently get lost or damaged
• Become moody, anxious, withdrawn
• Lose their appetitie
• Become more aggressive and start bullying others

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Not everything is bullying.
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Understanding children who bully

• Impulsive
• Dominant
• Lack empathy
• Have difficulty with rules
• Usually have a small group of fans.

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Pair/share The support group or FANS look
different for boys and girls. BOYS GIRLS
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Boy bullies count on superior physical strength
and size Girl bullies count on quick/clever wit
and a sharp tongue.
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• Understanding children who are bullied
• Usually timid
• Lack confidence
• Are easily manipulated by peers
• Have difficulty with eye contact

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Bullies COUNT ON the inaction of peers/adults.
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Pair/Share What does inaction look like on the
part of peers? .on the part of adults?
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What can WE DO to support our children?
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There is PARENTAL responsibility in the bullying
arena. Dont wait for someone else to do
somethingit is your responsibility to protect
your child!!
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Teach self-advocacy skills before they will need
them.
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Preventively teach specific skills.
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Teach them what to say and how to say it!!
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Body Basics Voice volume Eye contact Posture Proxi
mity Body Language (It is not really about
realityit is about perception!!
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Role-play with the child until he/she is
comfortable and can speak clearly and
confidently.
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What to do Instead of Tattling 1. Look at the
person. 2. Use a loud voice. 3. Say, I dont
like it when you.. 4. Say, Stop it! or
Knock it off!. 5. Walk/turn away.
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Increase adult supervision in hot spots
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Focus class time on addressing prevention efforts
and in training whole groups to ACT against
bullies. EMPOWER the MAJORITY!!
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• Teach children
• Use AuthorityAdults can help! Report all
  bullying situations
• Use DistractionIf you see a bullying situation,
  try distracting either the bully or the
  victimask them to get involved in another
  activity with you.
• Vote with your legsWalk away/Dont
  participatedont be part of the audience. If you
  are not in a position to help, dont watch. Walk
  away and get help.
• (Bully BWare Productions)www.bullybeware.com

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Bullying is an evolutionary reality. We used to
say Boys will be boys, or Oh, thats just kids
being kids! If you dont make the
distinctionthe LAW might.
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Shifting GEARS
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ARE YOU a victim of adult bullying? http//www.ny
times.com/2009/05/10/business/10women.html?_r1em

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Horizontal violence Female-to-female bullying,
especially of successful women, which is often a
hidden barrier to womens success.
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• What adult bullying IS NOT
• Receiving a direction or mandate from a boss is
  NOT BULLYING
• Having expectations communicated by the boss is
  NOT BULLYING
• Having to complete tasks in order to receive a
  paycheck is NOT BULLYING

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• I thought I was the only one. I definitely
  thought I was the only one because no one ever
  talked about horizontal violence to me. I
  thought it was just me. I thought I was just bad.
  This is an incredibly important piece of work.
  Women need to know! Women need to know that
  theyre not helping. Peg
•  

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• Were just like a bucket of crabs. When one of
  us gets ahead, the rest of us grab hold and try
  to pull her back into the bucket.
• Robin

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Behaviors identified

• Publicly questioning her authority
• Noncompliance
• Gossip
• Sabotage
• Talking behind her back
• Eye rolling
• Poor eye contact
• Snubbing or overt exclusion

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Behaviors continued

• Name-calling
• Belittling
• Withholding information
• Taking credit or stealing ideas
• Sarcasm
• Pouting
• Rumors about men
• Keeping a notebook on the administrator

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Truths uncovered

• Horizontal violence is a reality for women.
• Female leaders are victimized by horizontal
  violence.
• Horizontal violence can be devastating in the
  development process of female leaders.
• Power is a motivating factor .      

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Truths continued..

• Jealousy by subordinates toward female superiors
  is a motivating factor for horizontal
• violence.
• Socialization of women contributes to the
  perpetuation of horizontal violence.
• A female leaders own socialization patterns may
  affect her leadership style thus affecting
  reality of horizontal violence.
• There are specific strategies women can employ
  to minimize the effects of horizontal violence.
•      

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Truths Continued.

• There are varying degrees of success with any
  specific strategy.
• A female leaders competence and confidence can
  be an indicator of future success with female
  subordinates.
• Horizontal violence continues to be womens
  dirty little secret in that there continues to
  be a high degree of secretiveness among victims
  of horizontal violence and a reluctance to talk
  about experiences of horizontal violence.

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In summary There are all kinds of bullyingand
there are only four jobs Bully Victim Audien
ce Person of action Which Position Will You
Fill?
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Thank YOU!!