Empathic Listening

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Empathic Listening
Lisa J. Downs

• American Society for Training and Development

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Empathic Listening Defined

• Listening empathically means to listen with the
  intent to understand how the speaker feels in
  addition to understanding his or her ideas
• Showing empathy involves identifying with a
  persons emotions and situation, even if not in
  agreement with them

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Empathic Listening Defined

• Empathic listening is typically an effective
  technique to use in emotional situations, when
  there is a problem that needs resolving, or if
  there is conflict present
• The goal is to enable the listener to share
  emotions free from judgment or criticism

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Empathic Listening Formula

• Acknowledge Reflect Describe
• Speaker Feelings Facts/Situation

You got upset
when you didnt get promoted at
work.
Adapted from Burley-Allen, Madelyn. Listening
The Forgotten Skill (2nd edition). New York, NY
John Wiley Sons, Inc., 1995.
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Empathic Listening Formula

• Phrases to help get started
• You feel
• It seems like
• As I understand it, you sound
• It appears as if
• If I hear you correctly, youd like

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Empathic Listening Example

• Speaker I cant believe what poor shape our
  finances are in. I think Karen is really
  mismanaging the budget and Im worried.
• Listener If I hear you correctly, you feel
  distressed about whats happening with the
  companys money.

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Steps for Empathic Listening

• 1. Listen carefully to the speakers messages,
  both verbal and nonverbal
• 2. Display an open, caring posture
• 3. Consider the speakers emotional state
• 4. Calmly reflect back what you perceive the
  speakers feelings and meaning to be

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Behaviors to Avoid

• Questioning or Probing
• Judging
• Criticizing
• Lecturing
• Advising
• Interrupting
• Giving autobiographical responses (e.g. when I
  was on that team)

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Empathic Listening Tips

• Be interested in the speaker
• Have good eye contact and body language
• Minimize distractions
• Invite the speaker to expand on his or her
  thoughts
• Respond in a tone that is appropriate for the
  situation

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Points to Remember

• Empathic listening is about the speaker, not the
  listener
• It is not necessary to use empathic listening
  during an entire conversation it is primarily a
  way to understand another persons point of view