The LOVE LAB

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The LOVE LAB

• Creating Healthy Lives, Marriages Families

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What Makes Marriages Work?

• Overcome Gridlock
• Solve Your Solvable Problems
• Accept Influence
• Turn Toward Your Spouse
• Enhance Your Love Maps
• Nurture Your Fondness Admiration
• Create Shared Meaning

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PRINCIPLE 1

• Overcome Gridlock

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Ephesians 426-32

• 26 "In your anger do not sin" Do not let the
  sun go down while you are still angry,
• 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
• 28 He who has been stealing must steal no
  longer, but must work, doing something useful
  with his own hands, that he may have something to
  share with those in need.
• 29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of
  your mouths, but only what is helpful for
  building others up according to their needs, that
  it may benefit those who listen.
• 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God,
  with whom you were sealed for the day of
  redemption.
• 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger,
  brawling and slander, along with every form of
  malice.
• 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another,
  forgiving each other, just as in Christ God
  forgave you.

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PRINCIPLE 2

• Solve Your Solvable Problems

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Step 1

• SOFTEN YOUR STARTUP

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Suggestions for Soft Startups

• Make an appointment.
• Consider a preview.
• Se a time limit.
• Dont store things up.
• Stay focused on the issue at hand.
• Complain but dont blame or judge.
• Describe what is happening.
• Make I statements instead of You.

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Step 2

• Learn to Make and Receive Repair Attempts

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Step 3

• Soothe Yourself
• and Each Other

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Step 4

• Compromise

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Step 5

• Be Tolerant of Each Others Faults

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Philippians 48

• 8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever
  is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure,
  whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-- if
  anything is excellent or praiseworthy-- think
  about such things.

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PRINCIPLE 3

• Let Your Partner Influence You

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Ephesians 533

• 33 However, each one of you also must love his
  wife as he loves himself, and the wife must
  respect her husband.

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1 Peter 37-11

• 7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as
  you live with your wives, and treat them with
  respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with
  you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing
  will hinder your prayers.
• 8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one
  another be sympathetic, love as brothers, be
  compassionate and humble.
• 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with
  insult, but with blessing, because to this you
  were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
• 10 For, "Whoever would love life and see good
  days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips
  from deceitful speech.
• 11 He must turn from evil and do good he must
  seek peace and pursue it.

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Emotionally Intelligent Husbands

• (and Fathers)