MYTHS THAT ENDANGER OUR CHILDREN

1
MYTHS THATENDANGER OUR CHILDREN

• Presented by Janice E. Gabe
• New Perspectives of Indiana, Inc.
• 6308-B Rucker Road
• Indianapolis, IN 46220
• [phone]
• [phone] (Facsimile)
• www.newperspectives-indy.com
• barb6308_at_earthlink.net

2
Parenting Myths ThatEndanger Our Children

• Myth One They are going to do it anyway.
• Myth Two The stricter we are on them in high
  school, the more they will rebel.
• Myth Three The more freedom they have in high
  school, the more prepared they will be in
  college.
• Myth Four Once they start driving you have no
  control over their choices.

3

• Myth Five I need to have unconditional trust or
• unconditional distrust.
• Myth Six My child is wise enough and mature
  enough to consistently make good choices
• even when overwhelmed by opportunities
• to make bad choices without
  accountability.
• Myth Seven The biggest problem with the
  internet
• is potential predators.
• Myth Eight Talking to my child takes the place
  of
• consequences.

4

• Myth Nine Maintaining a positive relationship
  with my child is more important than
  maintaining a parent relationship with my
  child.
• Myth Ten Grades are the ultimate measure of
  responsibility, maturity, character, mental
  health and future success.
• Myth Eleven Its okay if my child experiments
  with drugs or uses alcohol as long as they
  are safe and smart about it.
• (i.e., dont get caught.)
• Myth Twelve The more teens are allowed to drink
  in high school, the more responsible they
  will drink in college.

5

• A ADOLESCENT DRUG/ALCOHOL USE IS THE NORM
• T NO ONE CARES IF WE USE DRUGS/ALCOHOL
• T POT USE DOES NOT COUNT
• I NON USERS/NON DRINKERS FEEL ALONE
• T VERY FEW ANITI-USE/ANTI-DRINKERS
  ATTITUDES
• U
• D THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PEER PRESSURE
• E ADULTS CONDONE IT
• S

6

• A EXPOSED TO ALCOHOL AND DRUG USE MORE
  OFTEN
• C EXPOSED AT AN EARLIER AGE
• C PARENTS RELUCTANT TO SET FIRM LIMITS
• E ADULTS CONDONE IT
• S EASY ACCESS TO PLACES TO USE
• S PART OF THE YOUTH CULTURE

7
ACCESS AND ATTITUDE GOALS

• DELAY ONSET
• REDUCE FREQUENCY
• REDUCE AMOUNTS
• ACCOMPLISH THIS BY
• MONITOR CLOSE
• CATCH IT EARLY
• MAKE A BIG DEAL WHEN IT HAPPENS

8
CHANGING ACCESS

• Limit unsupervised unstructured hang time
• Do not allow teens to hang out in homes where
  parents are not present
• Limit overnights
• Eyeball teens when they come home at night
• Limit exposure of young teens to older teens
• Make expectations clear to the teens who visit
  your house frequently
• Network with other parents
• Stay present and involved when teens are at your
  house

9
CHANGING ACCESS - CONTINUED

• Closely monitor what teens bring into your house
• Monitor for late night visitors and late night
  escapades (i.e. sneaking out)
• Make it clear that if adults serve your child
  alcohol, you will hold them accountable
• Your stance about alcohol and drug use needs to
  be consistent and not change just because you are
  somewhere that there is no drinking age
• Let your child know they will be held completely
  responsible for anything they have in their
  possession and their friends behavior at your
  home

10
WHAT ADULTS NEED TO KNOW

• Teens do go through withdrawal from marijuana.
  Withdrawal symptoms include headache, sleep
  disturbances, irritability and agitation.
• There is a direct correlation between teens
  perception that their parents approve of alcohol
  and drug use and seriousness of the adolescents
  use.
• Research indicates that teens who know their
  parents have used marijuana were significantly
  more (40) likely to use marijuana.
• If adults do not explicitly disapprove of
  adolescent drinking and drug use, teens interpret
  this as approval.

11
WHAT ADULTS NEED TO KNOW (Continued)

• Talking to teens about what you think about drug
  and alcohol use is good, but more effective if
  this discussion includes an enforcement
  component.
• It is not hypocritical to tell your teen that
  they will not be allowed to use or drink, even if
  you yourself did use or drink as a teen.
• The dare program does not shape their attitudes
  about
• drug/alcohol use.
• Young teens that use or drink are typically
  introduced to this by an older teen, usually a
  friends older sibling.
• Adolescent use patterns tend to be influenced by
  same gender older siblings.
• We need to talk to our kids about drug and
  alcohol use whenever the situation presents
  itself.