Loneliness

1
Loneliness

• -Feeling of being isolated from desired
  relationships
• -One of our fundamental needs is to relate to
  others

2
Types of Loneliness

• Social loneliness-from less interactions than
  desired
• Emotional loneliness-less intimate relationships
  than desired
• lack of intimacy leads to loneliness

3
Things Associated with loneliness

• Health problems
• Mahon, Yarcheski, and Yarcheski, 1993
• Feelings of worthlessness
• Feeling you just cant go on

4

• Constant worry and anxiety
• Irrational fears
• Trouble concentrating

5

• Feeling irritable and angry
• Feelings of guilt
• Crying spells

6

• Feeling tired
• Insomnia
• Pains in the heart
• heart disease

7

• Trouble breathing
• Poor appetite
• Headaches
• Digestive problems

8

• Loss of interest in sex
• Being overweight
• feeling fat

9

• Suffering from a serious disease
• Having a disabling accident

10
Questions to Ponder

• Which came first, the chicken or the egg the
  loneliness or the problems
• What is it about not being around people that
  seems to make us sick and have problems

11
Hug A DAY?

• Experiment
• Today, as you are walking to your next class or
  wherever, smile at some people and tell them
  hi.
• If and when they respond to you, notice how
  youre feeling inside, did you notice a
  difference?

12
Lonely people tend to be depressed. Why?

• Because they have isolated themselves from
  others?
• Do people not want to associate with them?

13
Sources of Loneliness
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1. Temporary Problems

• Break-up of a relationship

15
2. Failure of Integration

• Dont feel like a meaningful and significant part
  of any group

16

• Integration is a problem
• big cities versus smaller towns

17
3. Childhood characteristics and experiences

• Low self-esteem
• Death of a parent
• No warm or supportive parents
• Not enough time with parents as a child

18
How lonely are you?

• Loneliness inventory

19
Respond as honestly as you can to each of the
following items in the light of your typical
attitude over a period of time

• Use the following scores
• Almost always 4
• Often 3
• Sometimes 2
• Rarely 1
• Never 0

20
I am lonely

• When I am alone ___
• When I am without transportation for a long
  period of time ___
• When finances are not available to participate in
  activities

21

• When I dont feel appreciated by others ___
• When I can't seem to develop friendships ___
• When I feel left out or rejected by others ___

22

• When I am thinking about the past ___
• When I cant do things with others ___
• On my birthday ___
• When I think about my family ___

23
Scoring

• Add number of Almost always responses ___x 4
  ___
• Add number of Often responses ___ x 3
  ___
• Add number of Sometimes responses ___ x 2
  ___

24

• Add number of Rarely responses ___ x 1
  ___
• Add number of Never responses ___ x 0 __0__

25

• Loneliness score total
  ____ divided by 10 ___

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Your responses

• The higher your score, the lonelier you are.
• A score of 4 means you are almost always lonely
• A score of 3 means you are often lonely

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• A score of 2 means you are sometimes lonely.
• A score of 1 or 0 means that you are rarely or
  never lonely or that perhaps you were not
  completely honest with yourself in responding to
  the statements. Perhaps go back and look at it
  again.

28
Important points

• We have a need to be social
• Problems are related to loneliness

29
Characteristics of lonely people
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• Lack of social skills
• Lack of interest in other people
• Lack of empathy

31

• Fear of being rejected
• Failure to disclose
• Cynicism about human nature

32

• Demanding too much too soon
• Pessimism about life in general
• An external locus of control

33
Suggestions on how to deal with loneliness

• Rathus and Fichner-Rathus(1991)

34

• Challenge your feelings of pessimism
• Challenge your cynicism about human nature
• Challenge the idea that failure in social
  relationships is awful and is thus a valid reason
  for giving up on them

35

• Be assertive
• Become a good listener

36

• Give people the chance to know you
• Fight fair

37

• Fight fair
• Use your college counseling center