Authentic Relationships

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Authentic Relationships
Chapters 7 8
Adapted from

• discover the lost art of One Anothering

By Wayne Jacobsen and Clay Jacobsen
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Part 3 - Sharing the Journey

• Having a friend to share your journey in
  uncertain moments and dark stretches will
  multiply your wisdom and courage greatly. We are
  not asked to go it alone but to enjoy the
  resources of others God has placed around us.

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Part 3 - Sharing the JourneyChapter 7 -
Lightening the Load

• NIV Galatians 513b serve one another

NIV Galatians 62 Carry each other's burdens
NIV 1 Thessalonians 511 build each other up
I dont know what your destiny will be, but one
thing I know the only ones among you who will be
really happy are those who will have sought and
found to serve. Albert Schweitzer
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Serve One Another

• Love will cause us to put the needs of others
  above our own and to do so joyfully

• Finding ways to practically help others face the
  demands of life is a significant means of
  lightening their loads
• Often we say, If theres anything I can do to
  help, dont hesitate to call.
• However, the last thing on somebodys mind during
  a crisis is an organized list of what others can
  do
• Their usual response is a smile and thank you,
  but nothing gets done to lighten their burden

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Serve One Another (cont.)

• When a friend is in trouble, dont annoy him by
  asking if there is anything you can do. Think up
  something appropriate and do it.
• E.W. Howe

• Mow their yard
• Bring them a meal
• Pick up their children from school (security
  issues may prevent this)
• Leave them an anonymous gift
• Wash their cars

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Serving from a Heart of Love

• Serving one another isnt always easy

• Again, we can not meet every need that crosses
  our path as that would be an overwhelming burden
• Service to others is not to be a weighty
  obligation but rather a natural result of walking
  in the Spirit
• Serving those we know will happen more naturally
• However, an act of service to a stranger may
  start a new relationship. One that might open a
  life to Gods love

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Serving from a Heart of Love (cont.)

• Whats important is that we let love motivate us
  as the Spirit makes us aware of opportunities to
  serve

• As we keep our eyes open for the opportunities
  the Lord brings our way, we will know where we
  can serve others and do so in love
• Serving out of obedience alone is slavery
• Serving with love is a joy

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Carry Each Others Burdens

• Some things are just too awkward to carry alone

• This fallen world is full of ups and downs,
  trials, and tribulations for everybody
• God does not intend for us to go through it alone
• We do not have to have the right words or
  right prayer to make a difference
• People in difficult straits rarely need someone
  that can fix their problem
• They need someone who will walk with them through
  it

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Build Each Other Up

• If we focus only on helping one another through
  the difficult moments, we soon will be consumed
  with problems and worn out trying to address them
  all

• Building up or edifying one another is simply
  a way of putting our focus back on Jesus
• It is not designed to fix a particular problem
  but to nourish others in the life of Jesus
• It helps us grow closer to Him and look beyond
  any current crisis to give attention to spiritual
  growth that will yield great rewards in days
  ahead
• It is to be the prime objective when believers
  meet

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Build Each Other Up (cont.)

• Nourishing one anothers spiritual life is simply
  serving spiritual food and drink to those that
  cross our paths

• It is giving their spiritual battery a jump start!

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Build Each Other Up (cont.)

• Build each other up by sharing

• What God is teaching you and doing in your life
• What you are learning about Gods nature that
  leaves you in awe of Him
• What you have been reading in Scripture that has
  spoken to your heart
• How God has made His love know to you or through
  you to someone else

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Build Each Other Up (cont.)

• Your sharing will often result in their sharing

• Your own journey will then be enriched
• The depth of fellowship will grow
• This kind of mutual sharing is the bread and
  butter of of Body Life
• This may not always provide immediately
  noticeable help but will bear fruit in them for
  years to come
• Therefore, we must always remember to share
  practical things, too

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Serving one another (Galatians 513)
Carrying one anothers burdens (Galatians
62) Building up one another (1 Thessalonians
511) Encouraging one another daily (Hebrews
313) Comforting one another (1 Thessalonians
418) Stimulating one another to love and good
deeds (Heb1024) Instructing one another (Romans
1514) Admonishing one another (Colossians
316) Praying for one another (James
516) Confessing your sins to one another (James
516) Being of the same mind toward one another
(Romans 1216) Submitting to one another
(Ephesians 521)
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Discussion Questions

• Turn to pages 86, 87

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Chapter 8 - Cheerleading

• NIV Hebrews 313a Encourage one another daily

NAU 1 Thessalonians 418 Comfort one
another NAU Hebrews 1024 Stimulate one another
to love and good deeds There is nothing better
that the encouragement of a good
friend. Katharine Butler Hathaway
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Encourage One Another Daily

• We encourage other by saying or doing things that
  make God more visible to them

• We can encourage others by
• e-mailing a card or letter
• sending a card or letter
• giving a gift
• calling on the phone
• visiting them personally

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Encourage One Another Daily (cont.)

• The journey to Christ-likeness is often
  difficult, sometimes painful, and almost always
  filled with distractions

• Being encouraged daily is not a luxury - it is a
  necessity
• The encouragement from our corporate gatherings
  is not enough
• We need further encouragement through personal
  relationships
• We need to weave encouragement into the fabric of
  our lives and our interactions with others

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Encourage One Another Daily (cont.)

• A question we need to ask ourselves every day is
  -
• Whom can I encourage today?

• When you know you are going to spend some time
  with someone, ask God what you might say or do
  that would help that person experience a touch of
  Gods grace

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Encourage One Another Daily (cont.)

• Encouragement is not advice, platitudes, or empty
  words

• For example, when someone is grieving a death
  saying, Well we know shes in a better place
  now or I know how you feel provides little
  comfort
• Godly encouragement says, I am sorry this
  happened. This must be really hard. Let me take
  care of the kids this afternoon. Ill be right
  there

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Comfort One Another

• This is not the comfort of someone with his or
  her arm around a troubled friend saying There,
  there! Everything will be okay.

• The original word comfort could be also
  translated as to enable
• Godly comfort gets our eyes off of our efforts
  and our limited resources and puts them back on
  God
• Godly comfort restores our vision of what should
  be and could be if we would just trust God
• Godly comfort restores our hope

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Comfort One Another (cont.)

• NKJ 1 Thessalonians 413 But I do not want you to
  be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have
  fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have
  no hope.

14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose
again, even so God will bring with Him those who
sleep in Jesus. 15 For this we say to you by
the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and
remain until the coming of the Lord will by no
means precede those who are asleep.
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Comfort One Another (cont.)

• 16 For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven
  with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and
  with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ
  will rise first.

17 Then we who are alive and remain shall be
caught up together with them in the clouds to
meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall
always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore comfort
one another with these words.
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Comfort One Another (cont.)

• Traveling at the speed of light, in a vacuum 186,
  282 miles per second, it would require the
  following amount of time to reach these heavenly
  bodies

• Moon 1.3 seconds
• Sun 8 minutes 20 seconds (21 years by plane,
  200 years by car)
• Pluto 5.33 hours
• Proxima Centauri (nearest star after Sun) 4.3
  years (51 billion years by plane)
• Andromeda Galaxy (nearest galaxy) 2.31 Million
  Years
• Edge of Universe 13.2 Billion Years

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Comfort One Another (cont.)

• If the Sun were 3 inches in diameter then the
  following would be the scaled diameter, distance
• Earth 0.02749 inches, 26.94 feet
• Proxima Centauri 1377.59 miles
• Andromeda Galaxy 734,300,167.6 miles
• 0.01 inches is about the size of a grain of sand
• 0.1 inches is the thickness of a pencil point

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Comfort One Another (cont.)

• NKJ Isaiah 4012 Who has measured the waters in
  the hollow of His hand, Measured heaven with a
  span And calculated the dust of the earth in a
  measure? Weighed the mountains in scales And the
  hills in a balance?

13 Who has directed the Spirit of the LORD, Or as
His counselor has taught Him? 14 With whom did
He take counsel, and who instructed Him, And
taught Him in the path of justice? Who taught Him
knowledge, And showed Him the way of
understanding? 15 Behold, the nations are as a
drop in a bucket, And are counted as the small
dust on the scales Look, He lifts up the isles
as a very little thing.
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Comfort One Another (cont.)

• The maker of the universe must necessarily be
  greater than the universe He made

• Do you think God is great enough to handle your
  problems?

• Whatever you focus on appears bigger to you
• God or Satan
• Promises or Problems
• Word or World

• NKJ Psalm 343 Oh, magnify the LORD with me, And
  let us exalt His name together.
• Magnify (make appear larger) the Lord by praise
  (thanking Him for who He is)!

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Stimulate One Another to Love and Good Deeds

• Telling people what they should be doing does
  more to discourage than it does to invite them
  into a greater revelation of Gods grace

• Stimulating others to love and good deeds draws
  the best out of others by helping them see Gods
  purpose in their lives
• Our demeanor, thoughts, simple affection can
  rescue people from their own anger, ego, or
  selfishness and free them to live on a higher
  plane in the life of Jesus
• Remember to be obedient to the gentle nudging of
  the Holy Spirit asking you to speak to others

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Kingdom Cheers

• We can cheer one another along by

• Honestly sharing the times when we came to the
  end of our rope and found that God was doing even
  greater things than we could imagine
• Remind them of how Scripture speaks to their
  circumstances
• Tell people how much they much they have touched
  our lives (do not wait until their funeral!)

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Kingdom Cheers (cont.)

• You do not have to agree with everything a person
  believes or does to encourage them to draw close
  to Jesus

• When people are struggling, they are usually not
  in the mood to respond to criticism - even if it
  is constructive
• There is a time and place for corrective words
  but it is not when people are struggling
• Pointing them to Jesus will most help them grow
  closer to Him
• Only Jesus knows how to make adjustments without
  increasing their pain

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The Cheer that does not Work

• One of the most common statements that people use
  to encourage one another is, You just need to
  trust God more!

• This rarely works because trust only grows as our
  security in Gods love for us grows
• Trust is not something we can increase on demand
• Stimulating people to love and good deeds does
  not happen by picking at their failures or by
  pushing them to try harder
• People are stimulated by helping them draw closer
  to Jesus!

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The Cheer that does not Work (cont.)

• NKJ Romans 141 Receive one who is weak in the
  faith, but not to disputes over doubtful things.

• NKJ Romans 1215 Rejoice with those who rejoice,
  and weep with those who weep.
• NKJ 1 Corinthians 1226 And if one member
  suffers, all the members suffer with it or if
  one member is honored, all the members rejoice
  with it.
• Dont tell them what they are doing wrong, or try
  harder when they are already doing their best
• Show them how to see God in the midst of their
  pain

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Becoming More Like Jesus

• Gods priority for you may not be the best
  career path, but the best way for God to make you
  more like Jesus
• Clay Jacobsen

• Do you really want the perfect job if it does
  not help transform you more into the image of
  Christ?
• Do not worry about having taken the wrong path or
  made the wrong decision along the way
• This type of worry shows that we are trusting in
  our own performance instead of a God that is
  bigger than our mistakes! What kind of trust is
  that?

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Becoming More Like Jesus (cont.)

• Take your eyes off of your career frustrations
  and put them on Gods purpose for your life

• NKJ Ezekiel 144 "Therefore speak to them, and
  say to them, 'Thus says the Lord GOD "Everyone
  of the house of Israel who sets up his idols in
  his heart, and puts before him what causes him to
  stumble into iniquity, and then comes to the
  prophet, I the LORD will answer him who comes,
  according to the multitude of his idols,
• NKJ Colossians 35 Therefore put to death your
  members which are on the earth fornication,
  uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and
  covetousness, which is idolatry.

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Becoming More Like Jesus (cont.)

• If we come before God with a heart full of our
  desires (idols) then we will be deceived into
  thinking our will is Gods will

• NAU Ezekiel 145 in order to lay hold of the
  hearts of the house of Israel who are estranged
  from Me
• God does this so that we will grow weary of our
  ways and realize that surrendering control of our
  lives to Him is the only option that leads to
  life
• Remember Balaam who wanted profit more than to
  obey God? (Numbers Chapter 22)

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Becoming More Like Jesus (cont.)

• God gave him permission to go with Balak (his
  will) even though judgment awaited in the form of
  an Angel blocking his path

• NKJ Acts 1322b 'I have found David the son of
  Jesse, a man after My own heart, who will do all
  My will.'
• We must have our hearts set on doing all of Gods
  will
• Partial obedience is not obedience at all!

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Becoming More Like Jesus (cont.)

• NKJ Luke 175 And the apostles said to the Lord,
  "Increase our faith."

• 6 So the Lord said, "If you have faith as a
  mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree,
  'Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the
  sea,' and it would obey you.
• 7 "And which of you, having a servant plowing or
  tending sheep, will say to him when he has come
  in from the field, 'Come at once and sit down to
  eat'?
• 8 "But will he not rather say to him, 'Prepare
  something for my supper, and gird yourself and
  serve me till I have eaten and drunk, and
  afterward you will eat and drink'?
• The servants job was to put food on the masters
  plate which began in the field but was completed
  in the dining room
• The message here is that our faith will grow when
  we are obedient all the way to task completion

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Becoming More Like Jesus (cont.)

• NKJ Psalm 374 Delight yourself also in the LORD,
  And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

• NKJ John 157 "If you abide in Me, and My words
  abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and
  it shall be done for you.
• We must spend time with God with a neutral
  (submitted) heart seeking His will for lives
• Then God will put His desires in our hearts and
  cause them to come to pass as we trust (keep our
  eyes on) Him
• So what is Gods primary purpose for our life?

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Becoming More Like Jesus (cont.)

• NKJ Romans 828 And we know that all things work
  together for good
• to those who love God,
• to those who are the called according to His
  purpose.

• If you are head over heels in love with God
  then you will trust Him to always do what is best
  no matter what the circumstances
• The winds and waves will not distract, for you
  are are not walking on them, but rather on the
  C
• That is the C-o-m-e WORD as you keep your eyes
  fixed on Jesus whom you trust with all your heart!

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Becoming More Like Jesus (cont.)

• NKJ Romans 829 For whom He foreknew, He also
  predestined to be conformed to the image of His
  Son, that He might be the firstborn among many
  brethren.

• We are called according to one major purpose
• to be conformed to the image of Jesus!
• Trusting God to cause everything to conform you
  to Jesus will result in everything working to
  your good
• The good that is being referred to is the
  hastening of the process of Christ conformation
  in our lives!

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Serving one another (Galatians 513)
Carrying one anothers burdens (Galatians
62) Building up one another (1 Thessalonians
511) Encouraging one another daily (Hebrews
313) Comforting one another (1 Thessalonians
418) Stimulating one another to love and good
deeds (Heb1024) Instructing one another (Romans
1514) Admonishing one another (Colossians
316) Praying for one another (James
516) Confessing your sins to one another (James
516) Being of the same mind toward one another
(Romans 1216) Submitting to one another
(Ephesians 521)
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Homework

• Read Part 3, Chapter 9
• Pooling our Wisdom
• Meet next week Wednesday at 600 PM in Room A124
• Pray the Word Daily

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Pray the Word(Philippians 310, 11 Colossians
127,28)

• Heavenly Father cause me to know Jesus and the
  power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of
  His sufferings, being conformed to His death to
  self, if, by any means, I may attain to the
  resurrection from the dead. So that the hope of
  Glory, Christ in me, will be revealed to the lost
  world through your causing me to live perfect in
  Christ Jesus. So that He might be honored and You
  glorified by the power of the Holy Spirit.

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Discussion Questions

• Turn to page 99