Academic Summary of In Search of My Jewish Mother

1
Academic Summary ofIn Search of My Jewish Mother

• The Educational Value
• Educational Points

2
Assignment (20 Points)

• Please answer all the following
• Write your own behavior-analytic autobiography.
• Search for your own Jewish mother.
• And grandmother.
• Do you have them?
• Who were they?
• Talk to your folks about it (semi-optional).
• Talk to your friends.
• How successful was your Jewish mother?
• What did you get?
• What didnt you get?
• You happy with what you got?
• Why or why not?

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The Jewish Mother Syndrome Is a Metaphor

• Much of the important work, time management, and
  self-management we do is not directly controlled
  by the natural contingencies.
• Its not controlled very much by self-praise.
• It is controlled by escape from aversive
  conditions (thoughts and feelings) that are a
  result of our upbringing.

4
Preschool Fatalism

• These thoughts and feelings were programmed by
  our parents, usually unintentionally.
• If our parents did not have these aversive
  thoughts and feelings, they will probably not be
  able to instill them in us.
• If our parents were hard working, super-reliable,
  super-conscientious, proactive,
  non-procrastinating successes, then probably we
  will be.
• If they were not, then probably we will not be.

5
Even Jewish Mothers Need Jewish Mothers

• So, to have a Jewish mother, you need a Jewish
  grandmother and great grandmother, back and back
  and back.

6
Subtle Jewish Mothers

• Jewish mothers can be effective by criticizing
  themselves and others, without directly
  criticizing you.

7
Grade-school Fatalism

• Even trivial little self-management techniques
  such as the kitchen timer can stick with us for
  life.

8
Best performance management

• often puts contingencies on accomplishments, not
  effortproduct, not process.

9
Jewish-Mother Goals

• Unintentionally, our parents will even set
  unrealistic performance standards for us, like
  working for 50 years, or a life-long marriage.
• And they will program values in us that we cant
  overcome, even though rationally we know they are
  silly, like
• Be a real man.
• Dont be neurotic.
• Dont be a dumb ass.
• Dont be trailer trash.
• Dont be a loser.

10
Sabotaging the Jewish Mother

• But even if one parent is a fairly effective
  Jewish mother, that effectiveness can be
  sabotaged by the other parent, unintentionally or
  otherwise.
• Guilt or a performance contract may be enough to
  get us out of bed early
• but not enough to keep us on task, for example
• the waylaid drum practice
• the waylaid writing tasks.

11
Substitute Jewish Mothers

• But Jewish mother surrogates can continue setting
  unrealistic performance standards for us, the
  rest of our lives, for example
• Whaleys daily 6-mile runs,
• His daily 3-hour writing session,
• Michaels teaching to the age of 77
• Books saying you should grow your own food.

12
What do you do, if your Jewish mother wasnt too
effective?

• Use performance-management contingencies.

13
Thank You

• And may your Jewish mother be with you.