Marriage Has A Down Side

1
Marriage Has A Down Side

• Dr. Kowaleski Jones and
• Carrie LeFevre Sillito

2
What do low income women say about marriage?

• What issues do single mothers mention when asked
  what affects their marriage attitudes?
• Affordabilityget as much you give? 59
• Controlcan do bad on my own terms 56
• Trusteroded by pay and stay 64
• Domestic violence 34

3
Conflicts Within Marriage

• Crohans study of marriages found that conflict
  can make things better, but it depends on the
  kind of conflict
• 133 African American
• 149 white newly-weds
• Those who believed in avoiding marital conflict
  were less happy 2 yrs. later

4
Anger Insteads

• Some anger is o.k. How we handle it may not be
• Passive aggression
• Sabotage
• Displacement of Anger
• Suppression of anger devitalized Marriage

5
Gottmans 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse

• Contempt Spouse is inferior/ undesirable
• Criticism
• Defensiveness
• Stonewalling refuse to listen
• These 4 processes can predict divorce with 90
  accuracy

6

• For tips on how to have a bonding fight see
  page 309 in the book
• Film Lets Get Married