Preparing Your Child for College Life

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Preparing Your Child for College Life

• Presentation given to prospective parents during
  Illuminate Highlight Preview Day Events

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Raise Your Hand if Youre a
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You might relate to these parents sentiments
expressed after they left their son at college
for the first time
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We left our son Nick alone in his dorm room far
from home after nurturing and loving him for 18
years. Our little boy is now a tall, responsible
young man facing life on his own.
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Yes, its what good parents everywhere dream of
and want for their kidsto become independent
adults who fly from our arms into a world where
they can make their own mark.
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But still, the tears come -- for me, mainly
because I now know from painful personal
experience that there is a certain brevity to
childhood. Those wild and wonderful days have
vanished forever.
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When Did You Experience the Greatest Amount of
Separation Anxiety?

• First time you left your baby with a babysitter?
• First day of kindergarten?
• First time your child spent night at friends
  house?
• First time your child went out of town without
  you, for example, to a camp?

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These are not OUR children.
They belong to God.
Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a
reward from Him.
Psalm 1273
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Who knows best what is best for your child?

• You
• The school system

• Your in-laws
• God

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For I know the plans I have for you," declares
the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm
you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 2911
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This presentation includes some suggestions to
prepare your child to succeed in college.
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Parenting is one of those rare jobs in which one
of the primary goals is to work yourself out of a
job. One way this is done is by teaching
adolescents how to be more and more in charge of
themselves.
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Resist the baby boomer temptation to be a
HELICOPTER PARENT
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What is a Helicopter Parent?

• Helicopter parents hover.
• They are always on the lookout for threats to
  their children's success and happiness.
• If a problem does surface, these parents are
  ready to swoop in and save the day.

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HELICOPTER PARENTS A Huge Cultural Phenomenon
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The college years are a bridge between
adolescence and adulthood.
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I Corinthians 1311 When I was a child, I talked
like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned
like a child. When I became a man, I put childish
ways behind me.
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What can you do to help your child come out on
the other side of that bridge well-equipped to be
a responsible, independent adult?
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What is one of the keys to student success in
college?

• Managing time
• Being the life of the party

• Sleeping in class
• Being an expert at Halo

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Time Management Skills are Critical to College
Success

• Its no small task for students to learn how to
  get around campus, do their homework, make new
  friends, find new fun stuff to do, and get their
  laundry done, too.
• Many students found that managing their time was
  the toughest college assignment of all.

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Key(s) to getting along with roommates are?

• Communication
• Space

• Responsibility
• All of the above

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Roommate Pointers

• This is a point when kids must GROW UP. When it
  comes to responsibility, theyre pretty much on
  their own here.
• FREEDOM is nice but it needs to be balanced with
  learning to be CONSIDERATE of others needs.

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What was one of the biggest surprises students
said they had after their first year in college?

• How long a person could stay awake
• Homesickness

• Roommates are FUN!
• How much harder college work is

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Be Prepared to Adjust Your Study Habits

• Student response to this survey question What
  one thing do you wish someone would have told you
  about before going to college?
• Nearly half of all students talked about the new
  academic level they encountered their first
  semester and the effort required to reach this
  new level.

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One of the things students should do before they
leave their room is?

• Yell at their roommate
• Lock their door

• Leave the water running
• Do a happy dance

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Teach Your Students to

• Recognize the security differences between living
  at home and living in a community environment.
• Think about security How can I protect my
  stuff?
• Be aware of insurance coverage issues for those
  who have a car on campus.

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How often does your child do his or her own
laundry?
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Laundry Pointers in a College Environment

• Dont leave clothes in the washing machine or
  dryer after cycle is complete.
• Multi-task bring a book or laptop, study, write
  a letter.

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In order for students to get a handle on their
spending habits, they should?

• Sell their blood/plasma
• Write down where their money goes

• Spend all of their money as soon as possible
• Borrow a lot of money from friends

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Teaching Your Child to Manage Their Spending

• Sit down and talk to your child about spending
  guidelines.
• Together, you have to work out and agree to some
  initial guidelines that seem reasonable.
• Managing credit/debit cards, bank accounts, and
  learning to live on a budget all require practice
  and experience BEFORE going off to college.

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One of the best ways for students to fit in
socially in college is to?

• Start dating immediately
• Go to every activity they can
• Just hang out with different people
• Spend their evenings at Huddle House

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Social Life

• Everyone is looking for security.
• Its real tempting for students to jump into a
  big serious relationship when they first get to
  college.
• Its best not to limit themselves to only one
  best friend.
• Best advice you can give them Make as many
  close friends as they can.

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The worst thing that students can do to try to
get over homesickness is?

• Write a letter to someone
• Play cards with friends in the dorm

• Talk about their feelings with their parents
• Go home every weekend

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Dealing with Homesickness

• Encourage your child not to come home the first
  month. It only makes it harder when they come
  back.
• Give your child space to
• build relationships.
• learn to stand on his or her own feet.
• establish a routine.
• gain confidence in his or her independence.
• Make dates to communicate.

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What Students Should Bring

• Use packing lists to help guide them in the
  process. ?
• Pack summer and transitional clothes
• Swap out clothing at breaks.
• Bring clearly MARKED storage bins/boxes for
  storing seasonal clothing.
• Find out who their roommate will be and
  coordinate who will bring what.

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College Student Sleeping Habits

• Students say they sleep six to
  eight hours a night.
• When they sleep seems to vary and is not very
  predictable
• midnight to 7 a.m.
• 3 a.m. to 10 a.m.
• 3 a.m. to 8 a.m. and afternoon nap

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The number one way germs spread in a college
community environment is through not washing
hands properly

• A quick rinse with water wont cut it.
• It doesnt have to be antibacterial soap any
  soap will do.
• Other health/medical concerns
• Let your child call to make his or her own
  medical appointments.
• Teach your child how to properly self-dose
  medication, such as cold and headache medicines.

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Finish the quoteCollege is like a box of
chocolates

• Its got CAFFEINE and SUGAR!!
• You never know what youre gonna get

• It makes you gain weight
• It is sometimes full of nuts

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Its easy to put on the FRESHMAN 15

• Snacking often seems to replace regular meals.
• Students tend to eat in order to
• avoid studying
• help them stay awake while studying
• reward themselves for studying

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College Life Irregular Eating

• Ordering out for pizza or making the ever-popular
  border run (Taco Bell) can get expensive in a
  hurry.
• Since class schedules vary widely and many
  students participate in extra-curricular
  activities, most people keep food in their rooms.

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Conclusion

• Gradually turn over the reigns while your child
  is still at home.
• Accept the fact that your child will make
  mistakes its part of the learning process.
• Enjoy seeing the fruit of your labors as your
  child continues to grow and mature and blossom
  into adulthood.
• Let go and let God.

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Check Out Parent Resourceswww.bryan.edu/parent
s
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Office of Student Life423.775.7209www.bryan.edu/
student_life

• Dr. Peter Held, VP Student Life
• Dr. Liz Moseley, Counselor
• Mr. Matt Benson, Dean of Spiritual Formation
• Mr. Ben Norquist, Asst. Director of Spiritual
  Formation

• Mrs. Judy Olsen, Administrative Asst.
• Mr. Bruce Morgan, Dean of Students
• Amanda Allquist, RD
• Kristina Anderson, RD
• Myra Goza, RD
• Tim Shetter, RD
• Matt Williams, RD