Anger and Hostility

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Anger and Hostility

• Presented by
• Cascade Centers, Inc.
• Your Employee Assistance Program

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The ABCs of Anger

• A Activator Activators trigger, but do not
  cause, anger.
• B Beliefs These are what you think about the
  activator.
• C Consequences These are the emotions (anger
  or irritation) you experience, the behaviors you
  engage in, and the physical responses you
  experience when you have certain beliefs about
  the activator.

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The ABCs of Anger (continued)

• D Disputation This involves arguing against
  your anger producing beliefs.
• E Effective Beliefs Effective beliefs are
  preferential beliefs.
• F New Feelings Here you re-rate the original
  consequences after substituting effective beliefs
  for anger producing beliefs.

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Anger Styles

• Stuffing This style tends to avoid direct
  confrontation. They deny angerthey may not
  admit to themselves or to others that they are
  angry.
• Escalating This style tries to control, but
  loses control themselves. Escalators blame and
  shame the provoker.
• Managing This style allows anger to mobilize
  them in positive directions. Open, honest,
  direct expression is the most effective way of
  managing anger.

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Anger is Defined as a Emotion That

• Humans experience when they do not get what they
  think they should or must get, or when they are
  denied what they believe they are entitled to.
• Humans experience when they are starkly
  confronted by the realization that they cannot
  control others.
• That activates the sympathetic nervous system,
  results in significantly increased likelihood of
  aggressive behavior, and results in seriously
  diminished problem solving, parenting and
  relationship skills.

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Irrational Beliefs

• Irrational Belief I must be loved by everyone,
  and all of my actions and ideas must be liked, or
  I am no good.
• Rational Belief Id like for people to love me
  and like my ideas and actions, but Im a
  worthwhile person even if people disagree with
  me.
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•  
•  

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Irrational Beliefs (continued)

• Irrational Belief I must do everything
  perfectly or else I am a failure.
• Rational Belief I want to do things well, but
  Im a valuable human being even when I make
  mistakes.

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Irrational Beliefs (continued)

• Irrational Belief I cant help feeling angry,
  thats the way she makes me feel.
• Rational Belief Situations and people will
  trigger angry feelings in me, but I have a choice
  as to how intense my anger will be, and how long
  my anger will last, and what Im going to do with
  it.

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When You are the Target of Someones Anger

• Reduce the Arousal
• Monitor How you are feeling
• Tell the individual that you want to hear what
  they are saying and how they feel
• If the person says, You dont understand, state
  that you want to and thats why youre here, and
  ask them to continue explaining their feelings or
  the situation
•  

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When You are the Target of Someones Anger
(continued)

• Ask what they would suggest can be done to
  resolve the situation
•  
• Always monitor for safety
•  
• Use time-outs if necessary
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• Follow-up the next day

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Things to Remember

• There is nothing wrong with anger. It is the
  inappropriate expression of it that is the
  problem.
• Events have not emotional meaning per se. It is
  our interpretation of events.
• Acting from anger is a choice.
• An individual must be motivated to manage and
  express his/her anger effectively.
•  

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Things to Remember (continued)

• Anger expressed properly will increase your
  energy level, self worth and productivity, our
  capacity to love and be open to others.
• Self awareness, the capacity for personal
  responsibility, the ability to monitor and change
  thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, are essential
  to being an effective manager of anger.

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Thank You!
Cascade Centers, Inc. Your Employee Assistance
Program For Assistance Call 1-800-433-2320