We Must Accept Ourselves As We Are

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We Must Accept Ourselves As We Are

• Part II

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Goals

• To gain a greater understanding of the necessity
  of affirmation as an important ingredient for
  growing in high self-esteem
• To become more aware of inner resistance to the
  giving and receiving of affirmation

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Who We Are

• We are the product of those who have loved us and
  who have refused to love us
• Rapunzels self-image
• Affirmation from others will help increase our
  self-esteem.
• Practice the 10 Requisites for Affirmation

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I. Have Fully and Express All Your Emotions

• Only then will you have a sense that others
  really know you
• Feelings are the paramount essence of
  communication
• If you speak out your feelings, people will
  really get to know you

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Feelings and Emotions

• Which emotion do you feel least free to
  experience? Why?
• Which emotion do you feel least free to express?
  Why?

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II. Be Yourself

• Let your criteria of conduct and communication be
  who you really are, what you really think and
  feel and want
• We have to share what we mean, mean what we say

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Be Yourself

• In what circumstance do you find it most
  difficult to be honest and open about what you
  think and feel? Why?

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III. Be Assertive

• Practice self-esteem
• Insist on your right to be taken seriously and
  respected as a person
• Balance your efforts to fulfill your own needs
  with your efforts to fulfill the needs of others
• Dont be a compulsive pleaser or voluntary
  underdog

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Be assertive

• When and with whom do you find it hardest to be
  assertive (to demand respect for your person and
  rights)? Why?

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IV. Desist From Self-Affirmation

• Self-affirmation bragging, acquiring things to
  impress, competing, gamesmanship, dealing in
  status symbols, name-dropping, gouging and
  clawing for fame or power in order to prove self
• People will put you in your place if you resort
  to self-affirmation

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Dont Affirm yourself in public

• Which self-affirmation are you most tempted to
  practice? Why?

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V. Think of Yourself in Positive Terms

• Be more aware of your strengths than your
  weaknesses, of your accomplishments than your
  failures
• If you have a positive image, you will project it
  to others
• Believe in yourself

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Think of self in positive terms

• In what circumstance do you tend to be blinded to
  all that is good in you?
• Why?

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Individual Reflection

• Read over each requisite
• Answer each of the questions honestly
• Feel free to use Common Vision Distortions as you
  attempt to answer the Why? questions

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VI. Be Gentle With Yourself

• Be more ready to understand than to judge
• We are not accurate judges of our own
  responsibility
• Do not see yourself as a problem, but as a person

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Be Gentle with Yourself

• What weakness in yourself most often results in
  severe and harsh self-criticism? Why?

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VII. Dont Let Fear and Crippling Inhibitions
Control You Stretch

• Act against your fears
• Dont stay in your comfort zone
• Playing it safe will only evoke sympathy and pity
• Stretch (Ch. 11)

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Stretch

• By what fear or crippling inhibition do you feel
  most limited? Why?

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VIII. Do Not Judge Others

• Do not make assumptions about others intentions
• Ask, do not assume
• When in doubt, ask about their intentions

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Dont judge or make assumptions

• With what type of person or in what circumstance
  do you feel most inclined to make judgments
  and/or assumptions? Why?

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IX. Look For What Is Good In Others

• Express your appreciation
• Offer evaluative and appreciative feedback
• Be a chronic affirmer
• Affirmation is magic
• Be a Man/Woman of La Mancha

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Be a chronic affirmer

• What qualities in others do you find it most
  difficult to appreciate and praise? Why?

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X. Love Others

• Seek to find happiness in theirs
• Begin with empathy
• Love is a commitment and a decision for the good
  and happiness of another

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Love others

• With what type of person or behavior do you find
  it most difficult to be understanding and loving?
  Why?

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Individual Reflection

• Read over each requisite
• Answer each of the questions honestly
• Feel free to use Common Vision Distortions as you
  attempt to answer the Why? Questions
• Intra-personal Sharing Choose another person and
  share any two of the reflections.
• Use vision therapy worksheets to work on one of
  the requisites.

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Assignment

• Read Chapter 9, We Must Accept Responsibility for
  Our Lives