Week Three

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Week Three

• Writing a Story
• The 5 Ws and 1 H
• What? Who? When? Where? Why? And How?

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The Inverted Pyramid
The typical news story is written in what is
called the inverted pyramid format, or an
upside down triangle.
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The broad base at the top of the triangle
represents the most newsworthy information in the
news story, and the narrow tip represents the
least newsworthy information information in the
news story. When you write a story in the
inverted pyramid format, you put the most
newsworthy information at the beginning of the
story and the least newsworthy information at the
end. When you have put everything that is
newsworthy into the story, you can stop writing.
The story is finished.
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Example An accident occurred. It happened
yesterday. Today is Monday. The accident was a
car accident. It happened in Central where
Queens Road and Pedder Street intersect. One
person was killed. The person was John Wong. He
was 20 years old and lived in Taikoo Shing. He
was driving a blue 1998 Ford Mustang. He was
driving east on Queens Road at about 5 p.m. He
lost control of the car. It was raining, and the
road was slick. He was also driving about 20 kph
over the speed limit. He was the only one in the
car. The car smashed into a lamppost on Pedder
Street. The impact crushed the whole front of the
car. Wong was thrown through the cars
windshield. He landed on the pavement some 20
feet away. He wasnt wearing a seat belt. He was
killed instantly.
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To write an inverted-pyramid story from the
facts, you first would write a lead that
summarizes the most important information. Heres
one possibility A Taikoo Shing man died Sunday
afternoon when his car spun out of control on
rain-slickened Queens Road Central, crashed into
a lamp-post and threw him through the
windshield. Like all good straight news leads,
this one summarizes the what, where, when,
who, why, and how of the story. The next
graf of the story should pick up some element of
the lead and elaborate on it. In this example,
the next graf gives more information about the
victim
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The man, 20-year-old John Wong, lost control of
his blue 1998 Ford Mustang around 5 p.m. while
heading west on Broad Street at about 20 kph over
the speed limit. (The next graf will present
more details about the crash.) Skidding on the
wet pavement, the car struck a lamp-post on
Pedder Street. The impact threw Wong through the
windshield and onto the pavement some 20 feet
away.
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(The storys final graf wraps up the remaining
details) Wong, who was not wearing his seat belt
at the time of the crash, died instantly. The
pole crushed the front of the Mustang. (As you
can see, the story would still contain all the
essential information if an editor had to chop
off the final graf. If an editor cut the
next-t-last graf as well, the story would lose
important information. But people would still
know the name of the victim and a few details
about how he died. That is what is meant by the
inverted pyramid format.
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Inverted Pyramid Exercise

• These are the facts of a case involving a driver
  and a pedestrian. Please write an inverted
  pyramid lead for the story.
• Jonathan Huang was hit by a car outside the Happy
  Valley race course.
• The driver of the car ran a red light.
• Huang is a 45-year-old resident of Happy Valley.
• The accident happened on Wednesday evening.
• The driver, Michael Lee, is a 46-year-old
  resident of Clear Water Bay.
• Lee was jailed on suspicion of aggravated assault
  with a deadly weapon.
• Police believe alcohol was a factor in the crash.

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• Huang and his wife, Diane, have attended every
  race for the past two years.
• Huang was crossing Wongneichong Road with about
  20 other people after Wednesdays race.
• Huang ws in the lead while crossing the street,
  when he saw a white car heading his way.
• Police believe Lee was headed east on
  Wongneichong Road when he drove past a vehicle
  stopped for a red light and shot through the
  pedestrian crossing.
• Lee was driving a 1986 Ford Mustang.
• The impact flipper Huang over the car.
• Huang suffered painful bumps and bruises.
• Huang was released from Queen Mary Hospital
  Thursday afternoon.

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• Lee said that a passenger in his car distracted
  him and he didnt see the red light.
• Police believe Lee was drunk at the time of the
  accident.
• Lee said that he only had two beers at the races.
• Blood-alcohol test results were not available
  Thursday.
• Court records show Lee served five years in
  prison previously for sale of dangerous drugs.

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How a Reporter Works
Heres something that shows how a reporter
works Sarah is covering a talk given by a
Harvard sociologist on teen-age pregnancy. He
said that the bill for social services, special
schools,lost work hours and hospital care for
infants, often born prematurely, adds up to
several billion dollars a year. Last year, he
said, about 500,000 teenagers gave birth, and
almost as many teenagers had abortions. About
two-thirds of these teenagers were unmarried. The
dollar costs have been enormous, to say nothing
of the social costs.
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Well, whats her lead? She has to start writing
for the campus newspaper, and she does. A
Harvard sociologist studying teenage pregnancy
gave a speech last night to more than 200
students and faculty members in the Hall
Auditorium. Notice that she begins by providing
the subject. She also has the time element in her
lead. The place of the action is also
included. But, trouble. All this tells the
reader, she realizes, is that the speaker spoke
to an audience, which in itself is not
newsworthy. She makes another attempt
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A Harvard sociologist said last night that
teenage pregnancy is costing the country billions
of dollars a year. Gerald Cantor told 200
students and faculty members in Hall Auditorium
that the costs associated with the pregnancies of
500,000 young women under the age of 20 are
vastly greater than we had thought. He
attributed the costs to social services. She
looks over what she has written and is not happy
wit h the word said in the lead. Not very
exciting. Should she make it warned? Or is that
too strong? This is what reporters do all the
time. They write and they rewrite. This is
something that you will have to do too. Notice
that the basic construction of the lead should be
subject-verb-object, S-V-O.
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Good Reporting Equals Good Leads and Good Writing
When a fire struck a high-rise apartment in
Queens, New York, the AP put this lead on its
story A late-morning fire in the upper floors
of an 18-story apartment building in the Lefrak
city project in Elmhurst, Queens, killed three
people Thursday, the Fire Department said. But
the Daily News began its story about the fire
this way Strong winds combined lethally with a
fire in a Queens high-rise building yesterday,
creating a blowtorch that roared through an
apartment building and into a hallway, killing
three people and injuring 22.
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The image of a blowtorch searing its way through
the building is powerful. A battalion fire chief
used that word in an interview and the reporter
had the good sense to put it in the lead. Good
reporting makes for good writing. The more people
you talk to, the more likely it is that you will
find interesting information and good quotes that
you can put into your story.
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Direct Leads and Delayed Leads
So far, all the leads we have studied are what
are known as direct leads. These are the
commonest leads for news stories. However, there
is another type of lead, known as delayed leads,
where the first paragraph doesnt try to give you
a summary of the story. Delayed leads typically
are used for feature stories but, from time to
time, they may also work for news stories.
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Example of Delayed Lead
When the U.S. House of Representatives voted to
extend daylight savings time by two months, UPI,
instead of putting a straight news lead on the
story, wrote WASHINGTONThe House wants to add
a little daylight to the dark and dreary days of
March and April.
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Personalizing a Story
Very often, reporters make a story interesting by
personalizing it. Putting a human interest angle
into a story frequently helps make the story more
readable, since readers always like to read about
other people, real people. The following is a
good example In less than three miles, Joseph
L. Jody 3d ran six stop signs, changed lanes
improperly four times, ran one red light, and
drove 60 mph in a 30 mph zoneall without a
drivers license. Two days later, he again drove
withou a drivers license. This time he rana stop
sign and drove 80 mph in a 45 mph zone. For his
16 moving violationsthe first 13 committed on
Sept. 20, 1982Jody was fined 1,795.
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He never paid. Police say that Jody has moved to
Houston. Of the estimated 30,000 to 40,000
outstanding traffic warrants in police files,
Jody owes the largest single amount. Still,
Jodys fines account for a small part of at least
500,000 owed to the city in unpaid traffic
warrants. In February, Mayor Jonathan Rogers
began a crackdown on scofflaws in order to
retrieve some 828,000 in unpaid warrants. As of
mid-March, some 368,465 had been
paid. Actually, the heart of the story is in the
final graf, and a lead could have been written
this way Mayor Jonathan Rogers has begun a
crackdown on scofflaws, who have piled up
828,000 in unpaid traffic warrants. But this
would certainly lack the impact of the
personalized delayed lead.
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Direct or Delayed Lead?
There are no absolute rules as to when to use a
direct or a delayed lead, and even professionals
may differ. Below is an instance where The New
York Times used a direct lead and the Wall Street
Journal used a delayed lead for the same story.
The Times wrote WASHINGTON, Oct 21The Most
comprehensive report on mortgage lending
nationwide ever issued by the Government shows
that even within the same income group whites are
nearly twice as likely as blacks to get loans.
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Whereas the Journal wrote BOSTONWhen Sterling
Saunders needed a home-repair loan, he turned to
two of New Englands largest banks, Shawmut Bank
and Bank of Boston. He had a steady job, equity
in the house and little debt, but they turned him
down. In desperation, he arranged a 35,000,
two-year loan from a small Massachusetts mortgage
lender, Resource Equity Inc., at a stratospheric
34.09 interest rate. When Resource wouldnt
refinance Mr. Saunders loan he fell even deeper
into debt through refinancing with other
high-rate lenders. Now the 42-year-old city
employee, his wife and three daughters face
eviction from their home of 16 years by a third
lender.
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This might never have happened if wed been
able to find a bank loan in the first place, Mr.
Saunders says. The banks decline to address
specifics of his case, but judging by recent
studies of lending patterns, one reason he
couldnt get bank loans may have had to do with
his address He lives in a low-income, mostly
black Boston neighborhood with few bank branches.
A big survey by the Federal Reserve and analyses
by others show these areas get a
disproportionately small share of mortgage money
from banks. You have to decide for yourself
which lead you prefer. For me, the direct lead
works well and, later in the story, I am sure
there were specific examples. The Journal story
took a long time to get to the point of the story.
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Same Story, Different Leads
Professional writers handling the same story may
decide to write quite different leads, depending
on whether they are writing for a wire service,
national newspaper and a local paper. Here is how
three different people described a robbery The
first is by the Associated Press under the
headline Gunmen Make Get away on City Bus. NEW
YORKHeavily armed gunmen ambushed a payroll
delivery and got away with 50,000 after spraying
a quiet street with bullets, critically wounding
a moonlighting off-duty detective and a retired
police officer. 30 words.
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Whereas The New York Times reported NEW YORKA
frenzied crossfire broke the morning calm of a
quiet Queens neighborhood Friday as masked
robbers ambushed the two guards of a payroll
shipment, leaving the security mena retired
police officer and an off-duty detectivebleeding
on the sidewalk with more than a dozen bullet
wounds, the authorities said. 50
words And Newsday Masked gunmen spraying a hail
of bullets from submachine guns ambushed and
seriously wounded a moon lighting detective and a
retired police officer in a brazen morning
payroll robbery in Flushing Friday. 31 words
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Shortening the Lead

• Wire services in particular believe in short,
  punchy leads. The AP, for example, tells its
  people that when a lead moves beyond 20-25 words
  it is time to start trimming.
• Some of the extra baggage that can be jettisoned
• Unnecessary attribution.
• - compound sentences joined by but and and
• - Exact dates and times unless essential
• Now, look at the New York Times lead and see how
  you and trim it down, from 50 words to fewer than
  35 or, if you can, fewer than 30.

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• How a Student Sharpens His Lead
• This is a lead to story about a fire Tuesday
  night that caused 2,500 in damage. Here is how a
  new reporter polishes his lead
• A fire started by a careless smoker caused an
  estimated 2,500 in damage to home.
• (missing information when? Where? Who says this?
• 2. A Tuesday night fire started by a careless
  smoker caused an estimated 2,500 in damage to a
  home at 1705 W. Haven St.

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(Missing information Source? Also, too much
emphasis on the damage. The reporter checks his
notes and finds this The owner of the home,
Henry Smith, 29, said he fell asleep in bed while
smoking a cigarette. When he awoke about 30
minutes later, the room was filled with smoke.
According to Fire Chief Bill Malone, this is the
third fire caused by careless smokers.) 3. The
final version Fire that damaged a home at 1705
W. Haven St. Tuesday night started when the
occupant fell asleep while smoking in bed, Fire
Chief Bill Malone said. This short lead
succinctly tells the story, addressing all the 5
Ws and 1 H.