Coping with Loss

1
Coping with Loss Death

• Lecture Workshop 5
• PSY 350 Adult Development

2
5 Stages of Grief in Loss Event

• Denial-Shock
• Bargaining
• Anger
• Despair
• Acceptance

3
Characteristics of Stages of Grief

• Occur in any variety of sequence
• Stages can recur during another loss event
• One stage can last long uninterrupted time
• Loss process can last anywhere from 3 months to 3
  years
• Stages are normal to be expected
• It is healthier to accept these stages
  recognize them for what they are rather than to
  fight them off or to ignore them
• Working out each stage of loss response ensures
  return to emotional health adaptive functioning
• Outside support during grieving process assists
  gaining objectivity understanding.

4
Faces of Denial in Loss

• Magical thinking  believing by magic loss will
  go away
• Excessive fantasy believing nothing is
  wrong-loss is just imagined-when wake up
  everything will be OK
• Regression act childlike want others to
  reassure that nothing is wrong
• Withdrawal avoid facing loss avoid those
  people who confront with truth
• Rejection reject truth those who bring news of
  loss to avoid facing loss

5
Faces of Bargaining in Loss

• Shop around looking for right agent with
  cure for loss
• Gamble take chances on cures for loss
• Risk Taking put self in jeopardy financially,
  emotionally physically to get to an answer or
  cure for loss
• Sacrifice in our pursuit of a cureto change
  loss ignore real personal needs

6
Faces of Anger in Loss

• Self-blaming blame self for loss
• Switching blame blame others for this loss
• Blaming the victim blame the victim for leaving
  us
• Aggressive anger believing have right to vent
  blame rage aggressively on closest target
• Resentment believing our hurt pain is
  justified to turn into resentment towards those
  involved in loss event including victim

7
Faces of Despair in Loss

• Guilt believing personally responsible for loss
• Remorse feel sorry for real or perceived bad
  past deeds for which this loss is some form of
  retribution or punishment
• Loss of hope so overwhelmed that have no hope of
  being able to return to calm order our life
  held prior to loss
• Loss of faith trust can no longer trust belief
  in goodness mercy of God mankind

8
Faces of Acceptance in Loss

• Rational thinking refute irrational beliefs or
  fantasy thinking in order to address loss from
  rational perspective
• Adaptive behavior adjust lives to incorporate
  changes necessary after loss
• Appropriate emotions express emotional responses
  freely are better able to verbalize pain, hurt
  suffering experienced
• Patience and self-understanding recognize it
  takes time to adjust to loss give selves time
  to deal with it by setting realistic time frame
  in which to learn to cope with changes
• Self-confidence see stages of loss as natural
  expected gain confidence needed for growth

9
What is Death?

• End of temporal life
• Last act of life on earth for all living things
• Terminal point to which all lives are directed
• Finality of existence on earth for all living
  creatures
• Passing on to a new state spiritual, mystical,
  or a void
• New beginning for organisms that die for living
  organisms left on earth
• Finality of pain suffering on earth-attainment
  of peace, quiet respite for all eternity
• Letting go of spirit of life will to live in
  order to exit life

10
Common Responses to Discussions about Death

• "How morbid! Why would I want to talk about
  death? What do I have to gain by such a
  discussion?''
• "I avoid talking about life insurance it reminds
  me of my mortality.''
• " I have not made a will because it would make
  the fact of my eventual death real to me.''
• "I can handle just about anything in life except
  death!''
• "I find it hard to go to wakes and funerals.''
• "People avoid me now. How can I express my
  feelings about my loved one's death?''

11
Healthy Coping with Death

• Fully grieve resulting loss
• Deal with denial of reality of death reality of
  loss it brings
• Cease bargaining behavior being used to deny
  reality of death reality of resulting loss.
• Work out anger over death resulting loss
• Handle despair depression resulting from death
  resulting loss

12
Healthy Coping with Death

• Let go of person, event or object in death face
  resulting loss
• Handle fears about death resulting loss
• Look at death in an open-honest way-not hide
  from, avoid or ignore it
• Accept its inevitability in your life lives of
  others
• Accept changes that are consequence of death