Bullying Involves

1
Bullying Involves

• Conscious, willful and deliberate hostile
  activity
• Repeated exposure to negative actions
• An imbalance of power the victim has difficulty
  defending himself or herself
• Intent to harm with physical and/or emotional
  pain
• Unequal levels of affect the victim is upset,
  the bully isnt

2
Who Are the Victims?

• Characteristics
• Not randomly targeted
• Less likely to be targeted because of external
  deviations or disabilities, but more because of
  personality type
• Usually are anxious, insecure children
• Usually lack social skills and ability to defend
  themselves
• May have suffered previous trauma or loss
• Dont pick up on social cues well

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Two Types of Victims

• Passive Victims
• Most common, easy to identify
• Lack verbal and social skills
• Cry easily
• Lack the ability to use humor to diffuse conflict
• May be lonely and depressed
• May yield easily to bullying
• Likely to be anxious and insecure
• Unable to defend themselves
• Few friends, low level of popularity
• React negatively to losing

4
Two Types of Victims

• Proactive Victims
• Much smaller group
• Restless children who may irritate and tease
  others dont know when to stop
• Fight back in bullying situations, but are
  ineffectual aggressors and end up losing
• Easily emotionally aroused
• Tend to maintain conflict
• Tend to make people feel like they deserve it

5
Types of Bullying

• Physical Aggression
• Pushing, hitting, destroying of property,
  threatening with a weapon
• Social Aggression
• Spreading rumors, social slurs, excluding from
  groups
• Verbal Aggression
• Name calling, teasing, threatening, intimidating
  phone calls
• Intimidation
• Graffiti, a dirty trick, taking possessions,
  coercion

6
Myths and Facts Against Bullies

• Myth 1 Bullies have low self esteem and are
  anxious and/or insecure
• Fact Studies show that some bullies may have
  high self-esteem and strive to feel even more
  powerful
• Myth 2 Only boys are bullies
• Fact Both boys and girls bully. Their tactics
  may differ. Boys usually bully with physical
  aggression girls with social alienation or
  humiliation

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The Facts

• Bullies are not loners, they often have a small
  network of peers
• A bully values the rewards that aggression can
  bring
• A bully lacks empathy for his/her victim
• A bully tends to lack guilt he or she believes
  that the victim provoked the attack and deserved
  the consequences
• A bully likes to be in charge, to dominate, to
  assert power he or she likes to win
• A bully tends to think in unrealistic ways - I
  should always get what I want

8
Gender Differences

• Boys tend to bully with physical and/or nonverbal
  aggression
• Girls tend to taunt others about looks and
  clothing
• Girls tend to gossip in a malicious manner
• Girls tend to bully in a more insidious, cunning
  and indirect way
• Girls tend to target other girls who are the same
  age while boys tend to bully boys or girls who
  are 1 to 2 years younger
• Girls are more likely to involve both boys and
  girls in their bullying against a victim

9
What Can We Do?

• Strategies for Children Faced with Bullying
• Avoid bullies and places where bullying takes
  place
• Dont trade insults with bullies. This may give
  the bully a reason to attack you physically.
  Ignore them when possible
• When being bullied leave the situation whenever
  possible
• Tell an adult. Get help from adults as soon as
  possible teachers, counselors and
  administrators
• Use positive body language walk confidently,
  dont slump better posture, eye contact and
  self presentation in general

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More Strategies for Children Faced with Bullying

• Speak assertively using I statements be clear
  and direct. Make your voice firm. When in
  doubt- shout!
• Try not to embarrass the bully
• Make friends. Stay with friends. Bullies are
  less likely to act against a child when the child
  is in a group. Reach out join clubs
• Dont bully yourself use positive self talk
  Im a strong person, Im good.
• Teach conflict resolution skills, assertiveness,
  interpersonal skills (team work), problem solving

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All Grade Levels

• Create an open door policy
• Respond to reports of minor incidents take them
  seriously
• Take action as soon as possible
• Provide follow up support for students
• Provide character education lessons
• Proactive strategies
• Activities that promote good character and conduct

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Washington Drive

• Classroom Character Education Lessons
• Wally the Walrus
• Bus Safety Superstars

13
Thomas J. Lahey

• Arts in Education Program
• Character Education Assemblies
• Second Step Program P.E.E.
• Character Education Books
• List provided by the library
• Individual Discussions in the Classroom
• Peer Mediation
• Friendly Fridays
• Winning the Stuffed Lion in 3rd Grade for Good
  Behavior
• Being the First on Line for Good Behavior

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Oldfield Middle School

• Principals Assemblies
• Character Education
• Antiviolence Day Promoting tolerance, dealing
  with peer pressure, developing self-confidence,
  positive role modeling
• Project Excel
• Technology Program
• Suffolk County Police Presentation
• TLC (Tornados Listening Caring)
• Peer Mediation
• Thumbs Up Meetings
• Pupil Personnel Services Meeting
• Individual and/or Group Counseling Support
• Instructional Support Team (IST)
• Social Skills Groups
• Pragmatic Language Intervention

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What Not to Do
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What Can Parents Do?

• Listen to Children. Encourage them to talk about
  school, social events, other kids in the class.
  React but do not overreact
• Take childrens complaints of bullying seriously.
  Children are often afraid or ashamed to tell
  anyone that they have been bullied, so listen to
  their complaints
• Watch for signs that your child may be the victim
  of bullying, such as withdrawal from social
  events, a drop in grades, torn clothes

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What Can Parents Do?

• Tell the school immediately if you think your
  child is being bullied. Alerted caregivers can
  carefully monitor your childs actions and take
  steps to ensure his/her safety
• Help children learn social skills they need to
  make friends. A confident, resourceful child who
  has friends is less likely to be bullied
• Praise childrens kindness towards others
• Provide opportunities for children to talk about
  bullying