PARENTING STYLES

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PARENTING STYLES
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PARENTING STYLES...
What influences a parents choice of parenting
style?
99 of all parents want to be good parents, and
avoid doing what they consider to be a bad
parent. Regardless of their parenting abilities,
they love their child.

• The way their parents raised them.
• The family structure, whether its a nuclear
  family, step-family, single-parent family,
  extended family, one or both parents work outside
  the home, etc.
• Ethnic background
• Individual parenting skills and knowledge

All parents incorporate both love and limits in
their style of parenting, with the balance of
love and limits determining a particular style.
There are 4 parenting styles, and most parents
use some combination of the 4. Each style has
strengths and/or weaknesses, but only the
authoritative parenting style combines both high
love and high limits. It is considered the best
style in todays society.
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AUTHORITARIAN PARENTING STYLE
Authoritarian parents value obedience, structure,
and respect. And they believe in a family
hierarchy, with dad usually at the top, mom next
in line, and children last.They use external
control to teach right from wrong, such as
spanking, and are quick to act on a discipline
problem. Children in these families would not
describe the relationship with their parents as
close, warm, and loving. The underlying
assumption in this style is that parents know
best. The parents make the rules, and the
children obey them without question or
negotiation. If the young child asks why should
I?, the parent responds because I said so
(often a legitimate answer).
Low love and high limits. Giving orders

This is the most traditional parenting style
historically, and is based on the use of power.
The 1950s sitcom called Leave It To Beaver
showed a perfect family scenario operating under
an authoritarian parenting style. The children
were eager to please the parents, and there were
few displays of affection for the children.
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PERMISSIVE PARENTING STYLE...
High Love and Low Limits.
Dr. Benjamin Spock was a leading child care
authority of the late 1940s -80s. He
encouraged a fairly permissive parenting style,
excusing all manners of misbehavior in children
as somehow perfectly normal. In his later years,
he expressed misgivings about some of the advice
he had given.
Giving in
Parents have difficulty setting firm limits
and are inconsistent. It works pretty well in
some cases because children generally want to
please their parents. Parents view themselves
as their childrens friend, and have concerns
that their children will not like them if they
set too many rules. Over time, children often
become selfish, self-centered, and manipulative
to get their own waybecause they know they
can. Parents take a "hands-off" approach,
allowing children to learn from the consequences
of their actions.
Permissive parents often will eventually become
bitter and resentful of their children. They
place their childrens needs above their own, and
tire of the lack of respect or appreciation for
all they do. The children tend to have troubles
with responsibility, relationships, and
understanding the rights of others.
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NEGLECTING PARENTING STYLE...
Sometimes called an indifferent parenting style
due to its lack of emotional involvement and
supervision of the child. Generally considered as
uncaring and inadequate to meet the needs of
children. These parents usually do not consider
themselves to be bad parents, but are operating
under a mistaken set of beliefs about what a good
parent does. Their attempts to do what they think
needs to be done to raise their children ends up
being neglectful or abusive. They might be
indifferent, distant, unengaged,
non-communicative, self-absorbed, unstructured,
detached, and sometimes cruel.
Low Love and Low Limits
Giving up
Many individuals or couples are simply not
prepared for the demands of good parenting.
Children take time, money, energy, effort, and
good parenting skills.
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AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING STYLE...
High Love and High Limits.
Children raised by this style learn to accept
responsibility, make wiser choices, cope with
change, and are better equipped to succeed in a
work-force which relies on cooperative
problem-solving.
Giving choices
A balance of freedom and responsibility. Sometimes
called the democratic or balanced parenting
style, it relies on the principles of equality
and trust. Parents and children are equal in
terms of their need for dignity and worth but not
in terms of responsibility and decision
making. Parents model right and wrong by their
words and deeds, and give reasons for limits
discipline is used to teach and guide, not punish
or control. Parents present expectations to gain
a childs cooperation and respect, including
demands of maturity.
Although this 1950s sitcom was entitled Father
Knows Best, is portrayed an authoritative
parenting style rather than authoritarian.
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FAMILY STRUCTURE...
68 of children live with both parents 28 live
with one parent 4 live with someone other than
a parent
Over the last 35 years, there has been an
increase in the number of people choosing not to
marry and living alone in households, and a
decrease in the number of married people living
with their children in households.
Although statistically the traditional nuclear
family grouping is the most successful one for
raising children, it has not existed in the
majority of homes. It once reached 46 for an all
time high. Many factors have influenced the
family picture historically, including life
expectancy/mortality, child labor trends, women
in the workforce, divorce rates, births to unwed
mothers, etc.
The traditional nuclear family, with a
husband wage-earner, wife homemaker and dependent
children, now accounts for less than 10 percent
of all American households.
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FAMILY UNIT...
The family is the most fundamental of society's
institutions, for it is within the family setting
that character, morality, responsibility,
ability, and wisdom are nurtured best in
children. There is a direct correlation between a
family founded on a lifelong marriage and low
incidences of crime, addiction, abuse, illness,
and underachievement.
There is not doubt, statistically, that the
children raised in a household with both
biological parents is at an advantage. Fathers
and mothers, men and women, interact differently
with children
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PARENT CONTRIBUTIONS...
Fathers
Mothers
Roughhouses with children plays louder Encourage
competition Do not modify language for the
childs sake Talk is brief, direct, and to the
point, with subtle body language and facial
expressions Help children prepare for harshness
and reality of the real world Model traits of men
and how to treat women Encourage children to take
chances, push limits Stress justice, fairness,
and duty Encourages independence from
family Teaches a sense of right and wrong with
discipline
Gentle with children plays quieter Encourage
equity Simplifies words and talks on childs
level Talk is more descriptive, personal,
expressive of feelings, and verbally
encouraging Help protect children from the
harshness and reality of real world Model traits
of women and how to treat men Encourages caution
and protection of self Stress sympathy, care, and
help Encourages security in the family Teaches a
sense of hopefulness with discipline
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FAMILY TIME...
A high amount of conversation and level of
interaction between parents and children has an
enormous, positive impact on a child's
development. Even in intact families, however,
children suffer from a lack of intimate time with
their parents.
On average, Dads spend 8 minutes, working
mothers spend 11 minutes, and stay-at-home moms
spend less than 30 minutes talking to their
children each day. Nearly 20 percent of
students in grades 6 through 12 report that they
have not had a 10-minute conversation with at
least one of their parents in more than a month.
According to latest research, children enrolled
in early childhood programs and day care centers
on the whole actually have an edge in school over
those who stay at home with a parent.
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THE FAMILY AS A PRIORITY...
Responsible adults make the decision to have
childrenthey are not just accidents. In
making that decision, a couple must decide that
the children will be a priority in their lives.
They must be willing to place their familys
needs in the proper perspective in relation to
job, career, friends, personal interests,
finances, demands on time, increased energy
needed, and their marriage. The focus of the
family must shift from I want and we want to
they need.
When its been a long, hard day, are you still
going to make the effort to read a bedtime story?
When your child wakes up in the morning too sick
to go to school, are you going to leave them home
alone so you can go to work? Are you going to
live without new shoes so they can get a cavity
filled?
FAMILY MUST BE 1
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DIVORCE IN THE FAMILY...
There was a period in history where, even though
divorce was fairly common, many families stayed
together for the sake of their children. This
trend changed in the 1970s, as researchers
indicated that it was probably more damaging to
the child to hear their parents argue and fight
than it was to accept their divorce.
Unfortunately, those findings were later
reversed. In the long run, children apparently
are better off in homes with unhappy parents than
in homes after parents divorced and moved apart.

Children from divorce have feelings of guilt,
helplessness, anger, and sadness. They may suffer
from depression, troubles with relationships or
school achievement, eating, sleeping, etc.
Current U.S. divorce rate is just about 50, with
Nebraska being ranked 15th from the bottom at
40 55 of those divorces involved couples with
children Custody of those children was given to
the mother 68 of the time 1,000,000 children in
the U.S. per year from divorced homes
Children often feel they are to blame, or that
they can somehow get their parents back together.
They frequently have more difficulty with
intimate relationships.
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THE FATHERLESS HOME...
Over 25 of all children are living without the
biological father in the home, due to divorce,
unwed mothers, abandonment, death, etc. What are
the results?
The children are Eight times more likely to go
to prison. Twenty times more likely to become
rapists. Ten times more likely to abuse chemical
substances. 33 times more likely to be seriously
abused. 73 times more likely to be fatally
abused. One-tenth as likely to get A's in
school. On average have a 44 higher mortality
rate. On average have a 72 lower standard of
living.
85 of all children that exhibit behavioral
disorders, 90 of all homeless and runaway
children, 71 of all high school dropouts, 75
of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse
centers, 63 of children committing suicide,
70 of juveniles in state-operated institutions,
and 85 of all youths sitting in prisons grew up
in fatherless homes.
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SINGLE PARENT FAMILIES...
A key characteristic of single-parent families is
the limited resources, including time, energy,
and money available to them. (less than ½ of all
ordered child support is paid in full)
Nearly 60 of children in single parent families
are living in poverty.

• Lower incomes relate to
• Lack of health insurance
• Improper medical and dental care
• Lack of immunizations
• Hunger/malnutrition
• Inadequate shelter.

Children in single-parent families are twice as
likely to drop out of high school as children
living full time in two-parent families.
Children in single-parent homes are more likely
to have their own marriages end in separation or
divorce. Children in single-parent homes are at
the highest risk for unmarried parenthood.
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Step Families...
Husband with children marries , no-kids wife (the
step-momster). Wife with children marries no-kids
husband.Divorced mom with kids marries divorced
dad with kids. Widow or widower with kids
remarries. Divorced or widowed parents of adult
children marry. And many other
possibilities.

Step families, often called blended families,
have unique characteristics, which pose unique
problems for the couple as well as the new family
unit 1. At least some members of the family
have experienced loss, an emotional crisis. 2.
The biological parent and child have a longer
history and stronger ties to each other than the
couple does. 3. The childrens other
biological parent does not belong to this
familyand may belong to another family 4.
Children from a previous marriage now have 2
families to deal with and schedule time with,
including holidays and childrens birthdays,
etc. 5. Stepparents dont fill biological
parents roles, including no legal rights 6.
Over 1/3 of all children born now will live in a
stepfamily household by the time they are 18
years old. 7. 75 of all remarriages end in
divorce.
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PARENTING STYLES
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• Preparing individuals for life and work
• Strengthening families
• Empowering communities
• Created by Barbara L. Swarthout, Family
  Consumer Sciences teacher at Elkhorn High School