Delayed Motherhood : A Case Study

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Delayed Motherhood A Case Study

• Sharon Bryant

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Introduction

• But I still believe that the unexamined life is
  not worth living (Balwin, 1954). Using
  case-study as a method, allows the researcher the
  opportunity to analyze an individuals life in
  order to make generalizations to cases of the
  same type (Reinharz, 1992). In this case study,
  the author interviews a forty-one year woman to
  discover the pathways that led her to postpone
  motherhood.

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Introduction

• Women, especially those who pursue professional
  careers in which graduate education is a
  requirement, delayed the age at which they may
  become a mother. The number of first time
  mothers aged 40 and older are rapidly increasing
  (National Vital Statistics Report vol. 50, no. 5,
  February 12, 2002). This case study explores how
  one African American woman accounts for delaying
  motherhood.

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Dreams of Motherhood

• Anna Cooke was born in 1962 and some of her
  earliest memories are playing mother to her
  dolls. As the oldest of two children, she often
  mothered her younger sister. Anna said that
  mothering others was always an aspect of her
  relationship with others.

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Dreams of Motherhood

• Another one of Annas earliest memories was
  looking at wedding magazines and imagining her
  wedding. She daydreamed about wearing an
  elaborate white gown with a veil. Her children
  would be born after she got married. This
  illustrates how her familys Christian religious
  values reinforced that motherhood was legitimized
  only in marriage. Thus one did not engage in sex
  before marriage because children should only be
  born in marital relationship.

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College Got in the Way

• Going to college interrupted her desire to get
  married and have children. She attended a
  Historically Black College with the goal of
  becoming a social worker. One of her freshman
  professors, encouraged her to consider earning a
  doctorate in sociology. Beginning second
  semester freshman year, she focused her entire
  attention on earning good grades to ensure
  acceptance into graduate school. For example,
  she did not pledge a sorority because her
  professor did not want the possibility of her
  grades declining.

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Dreams of the Being the Perfect Mother Got in the
Way

• Annas Christian upbringing only allowed her to
  view sexuality and motherhood occurring within
  marriage. When she began to consider postponing
  marriage until after graduate school, she gave
  her self permission to have a sexual relationship
  with a man that she loved.

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Serial Monogamy 1

• Anna did not date until she went to college.
  She was considered a good girl and a good
  girls should have their minds books and not on
  boys. She met her first boyfriend when she was a
  sophomore and he was senior at a nearby college.
  After dating for one year, they had sexual
  intercourse.

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First Abortion

• The outcome of her first sexual experience was
  getting pregnant. She could not imagine being a
  single parentnor could she imagine marrying her
  boyfriend. Moreover, Anna could not imagine
  coming home to her parents pregnant. Her
  boyfriend was not ready to become a father so he
  supported her decision to have an abortion. Anna
  paid for her abortion from her work-study
  earnings since her boyfriend did not have any
  money.

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Single Mothers Shunned at College

• During her sophomore year, a popular student in
  her class got pregnant by her equally popular
  boyfriend who was a basketball player. She
  watched her being shunned by her boyfriend who
  soon broke up with her. In addition her sorority
  sisters also shunned her as she went to class
  pregnant.

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Terrified of Single Motherhood

• She was terrified telling her parents that she
  was pregnant and of having a child born outside
  of marriage. Annas father was born outside of
  marriage and he had a very difficult childhood
  because his father did not acknowledge him. Many
  of her friends who did not have a father present
  in their lives seemed to suffer from father-loss.
  She did not want to bring a child into the world
  that could also suffer from father-loss.

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Mothering as Sacrifice

• Anna images of motherhood was that women made
  many sacrifices for their children. It seemed as
  if being a mother could interfere with a woman
  having a satisfying personal and professional
  life. She felt that her mothers life revolved
  around meeting the needs of her daughters and
  often not getting her needs met. Anna believe
  that if her mother did not have children she
  would have made different choices in her life.

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Attending Graduate School

• Anna applied to several graduate schools and
  decided to pursue her doctorate at an ivy league
  university. Anna was the first one in her family
  to decide to earn a doctorate degree. The desire
  to finish her graduate education in five years
  required that she postpone marriage and children
  for a few more years. She felt that having a
  child in graduate school would impede her ability
  to graduate in a timely fashion.

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Serial Monogamy 2

• Anna eventually began dating another graduate
  student. During the third year of that
  relationship, she became pregnant while taking
  birth control pills. Her boyfriend wanted to get
  married and to have the child because he was
  graduating in the spring and he had a prospective
  job in which he would earn enough to take care of
  a family.

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Was Not Living Up to My Expectations

• Anna was terrified of leaving graduate school
  without completing her degree. She thought that
  becoming a wife and mother would interfere with
  finishing her doctorate especially since she
  would be living on the west coast. She could not
  imagine finishing a dissertation with an infant
  and communicating with her dissertation committee
  by telephone and by mail. Anna decided that she
  must abort this child and postpone getting
  married.

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Second Abortion

• Annas boyfriend supported her decision to have
  an abortion although he disagreed with her. This
  time, the student health insurance paid for the
  abortion on campus. Her boyfriend stayed with
  her during the abortion and he took care of her
  as she recovered.. Their relationship survive
  the abortion and they maintained a long distance
  relationship until she completed her
  dissertation.

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Beginning a Professional Career

• After graduate school, she completed a two-year
  postdoctoral and began her first professional job
  at a large health-related organization. During
  her first month on the job she discovered that
  she was pregnant again while using a diaphragm as
  a method of birth control. Anna was terrified of
  failing herself again especially since she had
  just started her first professional job.

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Third Abortion

• Moreover, she began to realized that her
  relationship was not strong enough to parent a
  child with him. This time her boyfriend did not
  want to be a father and she was also ambivalent.
  They decided to have an abortion. Their
  relationship soon ended and Anna decided that
  she was never going to have children nor was she
  going to get married. She would focus all of her
  attention on meeting her professional goals.

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Trying to Earn Tenure

• Anna accepted a tenure track position at a state
  university. She decided to put her personal life
  on hold while she conducted research and wrote
  research papers to meet the requirements for
  tenure. After earning tenure, she began
  questioning her single-minded pursuit of her
  professional goals without focusing attention of
  her personal life goals.

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Conclusion

• In her late thirties, Anna began yearning to
  have a child but realized that she was not in
  the position to make that dream come true. She
  decided to marry the man that she had been in a
  long distance dating for many years. Anna
  realized that she might have postpone motherhood
  to long. She was now in her forties and it may
  be too late to become a mother.

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Conclusion

• Many professional women sacrifice becoming a
  mother and fulfilling their personal goals
  because they single-mindedly focus on attaining
  their professional goals during their optimal
  childbearing years. Anna believes that women
  have to plan to meet their personal goals just
  like they plan to meet their professional goals
  in order to balance their professional and
  personal lives.

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References

• Baldwin, J. (1954). Go tell it on the mountain.
  James Baldwin. New York  Grosset Dunlap.
• National Vital Statistics Report vol. 50, no. 5,
  February 12, 2002
• Reinharz, S. (1992). Feminist methods in social
  research. New York Oxford University Press.