First Baptist Church

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First Baptist Church Deacons Retreat
Date
Retreat Leader Dr. Jerry Christopher
Executive Director of Missions
Fannin Baptist Association Pastor
Deacon Chairman
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diakonov
(deacon)
A Servant
A Minister
A Church Office
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If you are grouchy, irritable or just plain
mean, there will be a 10 charge for putting
up with you!
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Deacon Test
1 - What does the word deacon mean?
a) servant b) ruler c) church official
2 - In which two Scripture passages is the word
deacon found?
a) Philippians 11 1 Timothy 38-13 b) Acts
61-6 1 Timothy 38-13 c) Revelation 129
Revelation 20
3 - Historically, deacons have always been...
a) part of the clergy b) servants c) church
officers
4 - The duty of deacons is...
a) to be the board of directors overseeing the
church b) to be servants c) to be assistant
pastors, preaching and teaching
5 - The best phrase to describe deacons is...
a) board of deacons b) deacon body c) !?!
(blankety blank)
Score yourself - each question is worth 20 points!
90 - 100 excellent deacon 80 - 89 good
deacon 70 - 79 poor deacon 0 - 69 Why
are you taking a Deacon Test?!!
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When I Hear the Word Deacon I Think of
_________ .
?
?
?
Why?
?
?
?
What do you feel your church needs from her
deacons?
?
?
?
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History of Deacons
Acts 6 to 500 A.D. servants
500 to 1500 A.D. priesthood
1500 to 1800 A.D. servants
1846 R.B.C. Howells The Deaconship Board
of Deacons
Today servants
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Deacons, as Servants, are to...
God
Serve their !
Serve their Church!
Serve their Pastor!
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Deacon Qualifications
And in those days, when the number of the
disciples was multiplied, there arose a murmuring
of the Grecians against the Hebrews, because
their widows were neglected in the daily
ministration. Then the twelve called the
multitude of the disciples unto them, and said,
It is not reason that we should leave the word of
God, and serve tables. Wherefore, brethren, look
ye out among you seven men of honest report, full
of the Holy Ghost and wisdom, whom we may appoint
over this business. But we will give ourselves
continually to prayer, and to the ministry of the
word. And the saying pleased the whole
multitude and they chose Stephen, a man full of
faith and of the Holy Ghost, and Philip,
and Prochorus, and Nicanor, and Timon, and
Parmenas, and Nicolas a proselyte of Antioch
whom they set before the apostles and when they
had prayed, they laid their hands on them.
Acts 61-6
Likewise must the deacons be grave, not
double-tongued, not given to much wine, not
greedy of filthy lucre holding the mystery of
the faith in a pure conscience. And let these
also first be proved then let them use the
office of a deacon, being found blameless. Even
so must their wives be grave, not slanderers,
sober, faithful in all things. Let the deacons
be the husbands of one wife, ruling
their children and their own houses well. For
they that have used the office of a deacon well
purchase to themselves a good degree, and great
boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus.
1 Timothy 38-13
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Acts 61-6

• Honest Report v.3

• Full of the Holy Ghost v.3

• Full of Wisdom v.3

• Business Man v.3

• Full of Faith v.5

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1 Timothy 38-13

• Grave v.8

• Not Double-Tongued v.8

• Not Given to Much Wine v.8

• Not Greedy of Filthy Lucre v.8

• Holding the Mystery of the Faith v.9

• Be Proved v.10

• Found Blameless v.10

• Husband of One Wife v.12

• Ruling Children and House Well v.12

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Qualifications of a Deacons Wife (1 Timothy 311)

• Grave

• Not Slanderer

• Sober

• Faithful in All Things

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Issues in Deacon Ordination
Women as deacons Age Unmarried
deacons Tithing Divorced persons Deacons
wife non-Baptist
Deacons wife dies and he remarries Church and
pastor supporter Personal gifts Servant
attitude Purpose and need Reputation
(drinking, smoking, etc.)
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Deacon Requisites

• Saved Person

• Active Church Member

• Growing Christian

• Visible and Verbal Witness for Our Lord

• Separated from the World

• Faithful Attendance at All Services

• Tither, and Loyal Supporter of Churchs

Programs, Ministries and Pastor
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Which Model is Correct?
Pastor
Deacons
Deacons
Pastor
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The New Testament Model
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3 Main Tasks of Deacon Ministry
Proclaim
Care
Lead
1. Proclaim the Gospel
2. Care for the Church
3. Lead Church to Fulfill its Mission
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Deacons Needed As...

• Mentors

Paul - Timothy Discipleship (developing
leaders)

• Ministers

Deacon Family Ministry Plan

• Managers of Conflict

Build Church Fellowship
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Deacons Purpose
First Baptist Church
The deacons at
are called by God and set apart by the church to
serve God, the church, and the pastor.
They will serve by being
Mentors
Ministers
Managers of Conflict
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Deacons Needed As...
Mentors
Paul - Timothy Discipleship (developing
leaders)

• Ministers

Deacon Family Ministry Plan

• Managers of Conflict

Build Church Fellowship
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Mentor...
New Christians
New Church Members
Inactive Church Members
Christians Who Are Not Growing
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To Mentor, ...
1. Personally grow in the Lord
2. Establish a relationship with a lost person
and lead them to Christ, then mentor them a
saved person to intentionally mentor them
3. Agree upon a definite weekly meeting time
a) to pray
b) to be accountable
c) to learn
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Deacons Needed As...

• Mentors

Paul - Timothy Discipleship (developing
leaders)
Ministers
Deacon Family Ministry Plan

• Managers of Conflict

Build Church Fellowship
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The Deacon Family Ministry Plan
A Systematic Plan for Caring for the Spiritual,
Physical, and Emotional Needs of EVERY PERSON in
the Church through a Personal Ministry
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Keys to an Effective Deacon Family Ministry Plan

• Preparation of Deacons and Church
• Commitment of Deacons and Church
• Following Proper Organizational Procedures
• Good Record Keeping
• Effective Training
• Holy Spirits Leadership

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What are the Benefits of Such a Ministry?
1. The entire church is strengthened when deacons
accept responsibility.
2. Trust in deacons will grow.
3. Members will be able to discuss concerns with
deacons and accept their personal ministry.
4. The pastor will be able to concentrate more on
equipping ministries.
5. Deacons will be fulfilling the servant role.
6. Deacon meetings will be occasions of victories
celebrated and prayer for concerns.
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What is the Organization of Such a Ministry?
Deacon - Family Ratio This must be adjusted to
the size of your church family. The maximum
should be one deacon for every 12 to 15 families.
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Basis of Assignments
Some churches are assigned by geographical areas.
Some churches are assigned by alphabetical order.
Each church should determine their own need.
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Length of Assignments
The most common is three years.
Ministry can become more personal when time is
given to build a trust relationship.
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Responsibility for Assignments
The deacon chairman should administer the Deacon
Family Ministry Plan.
He should see that family assignments are made
and kept up to date.
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What is the Best Way to Implement Such a Ministry?
The deacon chairman is to
organize the church membership into family
groups
assign each deacon a proportionate number
of families
inform the church
hold continuous training each month at
deacons meeting
plan specific projects of ministry
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Deacon Secretary
The deacon secretary is to
prepare notebooks for deacons record of
ministries
receive ministry reports from deacons each
month and compile a monthly report to give
to deacon chairman
maintain supply of materials
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Deacon Vice-Chairman
The deacon vice-chairman is to
assist the deacon chairman in planning and
training deacons for specific family ministry
projects. Such projects may include
Proclamation Projects Deacons visit families to
discuss pastors sermons and pray for
pastor. Promotion of revival. Personal
soul-winning.
Care Projects Visit families and simply listen to
their needs. Help families with a particular
problem or learn how to refer their specific
need. Send birthday and anniversary cards to
families. Visit hospitals.
Fellowship Projects Celebrate salvation
decision. Go on small family retreats. Have a
Deacon of the Week.
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How to Get Started
1. Pray
2. Publicize Deacons in Visitation
church bulletin
church newsletter
other church mailouts
local area newsletters
announcements during services
deacon of the week
3. Plan Strategy
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Visit Schedule for Deacon Family Ministry Plan
Contact Visit - 1st Month
explain ministry
fill out information card
listen for ways to minister
promote church pastor
pray
Call - 2nd Month
Cards - 3rd Month
Concerted Visit - 4th Month
Calendar a Fellowship - 5th Month
Check-up Visit - 6th Month
Crisis Visits - as needed
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Types of Visits
Home
Hospital
Helping
Hell Bound
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Home Visit
Contact ahead of time.
Carry literature to give.
Conversation...
Family Interests
Religious Status Explanation of Visit
Care enough to listen...
Seek to Understand List Needs
Determine Resources Necessary to Meet Needs or
Make Referrals
Call person to...
Christian Growth Prayer
Church Faithfulness
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Hospital Visit
Check visiting hours.
Carry literature to leave.
Check with nurses station.
Conversation...
Strong Knock on Door Shake Hands
Sit Down Share About Church and Pastor
Care expressed...
How Can We Help You?
Call person to...
Trust God
Prayer
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Helping Visit
Crisis visit.
Death Loss of Job
Illness
Contact ahead of time.
Carry literature to leave.
Conversation...
Religious Status Explanation of Visit
Family Interests
Care expressed...
How Can We Help You?
Call person to...
Trust God
Prayer
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Hell Bound Visit
Contacts.
Prospects List Cold Turkey
Carry literature to leave.
Conversation...
Family Interests
Religious Status Exploratory Questions
Christian witness.
Share Plan of Salvation
Roman Road FAITH
Call person to...
Decision for Christ Church Attendance
Prayer
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Deacons Needed As...

• Mentors

Paul - Timothy Discipleship (developing
leaders)

• Ministers

Deacon Family Ministry Plan
Managers of Conflict
Build Church Fellowship
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Conflict Management
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Contents
I. Scars from Conflict
II. Sentence Definitions of Conflict
III. Sure Truths about Conflict
IV. Signs of Conflict
V. Survey and Summary of Reasons for Conflict
VI. Structural Levels of Conflict
VII. Strategies for Managing Conflict
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and I got that scar from the Chairman of the
Deacons during the second battle of Guitars in
the Sanctuary back in 71.
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I. Scars from Conflicts
A. Personal
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I. Scars from Conflict
B. Professional
Clergy Gen. Pop.
15
10
Burnout
Divorce
15
40
Chemical Dependence
5
11
Mental Disorder
2
10
Immorality
10
15
Pastors who leave due to stress - 40
Forty years ago insurance actuarial tables
indicated pastors were one of the safest groups
to insure due to good physical and mental
health. Today they are considered one of the
highest risk groups.
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Results of Serious Church Conflicts
1 - Some members left the church 84
2 - Some members withheld tithes and offerings
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3 - Some lay leaders resigned 42
4 - Some programs or activities were stopped 22
5 - The pastor left/had to leave 88
6 - A staff member left/had to leave 30
7 - The church split-some members left started
a new church 15
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II. Sentence definitions of conflict.
conflictus
A. Conflict comes from the Latin word
, which refers to an act of striking
together. (Webster)
B. Conflict is a in which two or
more human beings desire which are
attainable by one or the other but not by
. (McSwain Treadwell, Conflict Ministry in the
Church)
situation
goals
both
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C. Conflicts are over
differences
power struggles
Differing information or differing beliefs
differing interests, desires or values. (Hugh F.
Halverstadt, Managing Church Conflict)
D. Conflict is when two or more try
to occupy the same space at the same time.
(Douglas Lewis, Resolving Church Conflicts.)
objects
E. To manage means to
with some degree of success.
handle or direct
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You were right. Talking through the problem
brought us to an agreement - that its all YOUR
fault!
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III. Sure Truths about Conflict
A. Conflict is neither inherently
. It is how one
bad nor good
manages
conflict that determines if it is good or bad.
Example The Chinese character for crisis means
both danger and opportunity.
B. Conflict is going to occur.
Conflict has existed since the beginning. You are
not the only one who has experienced
conflict. How you
manage
conflict often determines how
much conflict you experience.
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C. Conflict does not occur where there is apathy.
D. Conflict can be healthy or unhealthy.
Healthy Conflict Unhealthy Conflict
1. Dealt with directly 1. Dealt with indirectly
2. Aim is a solution 2. Remains unresolved
3. Seeks to be understood before judging 3.
Judges before understanding
4. Leads to deeper intimacy and trust 4. Leads to
broken relationships
5. Mutual respect 5. Disrespect - name calling
6. Honesty 6. Dishonesty-innuendoes, rumors
7. Desire for good of church 7. I want my way.
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And until next Sunday, remember God loves you,
I love you, and Brother Al here is working on it.
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IV. Signs of Conflict
1. Attendance drops
2. Offerings decrease
3. Worship services are cold
4. Hard to get people to volunteer to fill
positions and minister
5. Trust in pastor, church staff, leadership,
deacons and committees is low Accusations
are leveled
6. Business meetings are long due to a lot of
questioning and discussion Church Constitution
and Bylaws are referred to
7. People who were warm toward you are now cold
toward you
8. Little groups huddle after church in parking
lot meetings
9. Complaints increase
10. People accuse the pastor of preaching at them
11. People come and inform you, Bro. John is not
happy
12. Someone confronts you and says, You need to
resign
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Bylaws?!! What do you mean bylaws? Ive waited
seven years to rule this group!
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V. Survey of Reasons for Conflict
(from Lifeway Resources, DoM Survey, and Alban
Institute-conducted surveys)
Some Reasons for Conflict
1. Power Struggle
2. Leadership Style
3. Performance
4. Lack of Leadership
5. Immorality
6. Mismatch
7. Poor Communication
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For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but
against principalities, against powers, against
the rulers of the darkness of this world, against
spiritual wickedness in high places.
We know Satan is our adversary, but conflict is
played out in the flesh.
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Summary of Reasons for Conflict

• Personality

• Procedure

• Purpose

• Performance

• Power Struggle

• Principle

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Clergy Killers
1. These people are destructive and toxic - they
poison almost everything they touch.
2. These people are determined. They are not
interested in a solution. Their goal is to
destroy.
3. These people are deceitful. They work by
spreading lies, innuendoes, gossip, rumors and
exaggerated tales.
4. These people are in denial. They cannot see
their own problems. It is always someone elses
fault.
5. These people are demonic. They are devilish.
Cruelty, dishonesty, hatefulness, destructiveness
and dissension are their pattern.
Percentage of pastors reported to have been run
out of a church due to 5 or less people of the
church is 23.
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VI. Structural levels of conflict
Intractable E
Fight/Flight D
Contest C
Disagreement B
Problem to solve A
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Suppose we return your tithes, give you a
reserved parking space, make you a deacon, fire
the youth minister, and eliminate the music
committee. Would that be satisfactory?
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VII. Strategies for Conflict Management
1. Admit conflict exists
2. Believe conflict can be constructive and not
destructive
3. Communicate biblical way of dealing with
conflict
Read Matthew 1815-17
Jesus Conflict Management a. Go privately
and confront. b. Go promptly c. Go
peacefully d. Go prayerfully e. Go
persistently. Take 2-3 with you if private
meeting does not resolve. f. Go
purposefully to church if private and group
meetings do not resolve.
4. Determine to pursue unity in the Body
5. Elect and train a Conflict Management Team
(Peacemakers)
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Conflict Mediation Team (Peacemakers)
Purpose
To help preserve the unity of the church by
encouraging members in biblical reconciliation
Read Psalm 1331
Read Ephesians 43, 13
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Personnel on the Team
The Conflict Management Team (Peacemakers) is a
church-elected team of mature respected
Christians. They commit to
1. Keep the log out of their own eye
2. Stay equipped in conflict mediation by
annually attending at least one training event
or reading one book on conflict mediation
3. Work in harmony with the pastor, staff and
other church members by being pro-active in
maintaining the unity of the church
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Prerequisites
Before anyone can approach the Conflict Mediation
Team (Peacemakers), three efforts must have been
made
1. Prayer
God, is my heart pure in this matter?
God, what would you have me to do?
2. Personal reflection
Dont be easily offended. (Psalm 119165
Proverbs 1911)
Be patient. (Colossians 111)
Be forgiving. (Matthew 614-15 Mark 1125-26
Luke 171-6 Matthew 521-26 2 Corinthians
21-13 Ephesians 432)
Be loving. (1 Peter 48)
Be longsuffering. (Galatians 522-23)
Seek to understand before seeking to be
understood.
3. Privately go to the one you have offended/been
offended by
Read Matthew 1815-35
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If you have attempted to fulfill these
three prerequisites and still have not achieved
reconciliation, then consider meeting with the
Conflict Mediation Team.
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Process
A. For the one who has been offended or has
offended someone and approaches the Conflict
Mediation Team
Read Matthew 1815-35 Proverbs 15, 1114, 1522
1. Schedule a meeting with the Conflict Mediation
Team by contacting the Chairperson/Team Leader
2. Confess to the Team that you have followed the
prerequisites and still have not arrived at
reconciliation and need their help
3. Share your story honestly
4. Listen to them
5. Commit to go to the next step in reconciliation
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Process
B. For the one who is causing discord in the
church
Read Galatians 61 James 519-20
reasons for church discipline

• flagrant and arrogant sins (1 Corinthians
  41-13)
• gossip (Ephesians 425)
• murmuring (John 643 1 Corinthians 1010)
• talking behind backs of church leaders
  (Ephesians 428-29)
• continuous non-support of church leaders,
  purpose and/or ministries (Ephesians 431)
• being openly out of fellowship with God and/or
  church brothers or sisters (Ephesians 426
  Hebrews 1215)

1. The Conflict Mediation Team becomes aware of
such persons and prays about the need
and discusses the need with the pastor and/or
agreed-upon church leaders
2. Someone, agreed upon by the Team, approaches
the person about the problem and seeks to lead
the person to reconciliation and/or repentance
3. If the person does not see the problem and
continues in sin, the Conflict Mediation
Team seeks a meeting with the person and makes
one of three recommendations...
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Postscript
After this process had been attempted
and reconciliation does not appear possible, the
Team is to make one of three recommendations
1. Wait
Read 2 Thessalonians 314-15
2. Remove all positions of service and voting
privileges from those in the wrong until
reconciliation is achieved
Read 1 Corinthians 52-13 Titus 310-11
3. Discipline them by removing church membership
- praying for repentance and reconciliation
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The church should always seek reconciliation as
the primary goal. In extreme cases, a person
should move their membership to another church
rather than continue in conflict and/or a church
should remove a person from its membership -
praying for repentance and reconciliation. The
above is not a perfect process, but is better
than no process at all (which allows a few
disgruntled members to keep the church in
turmoil).
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Case Study
Joe Wilson has been laid off from his job as a
machinist. He is 26 years old and has a wife and
three children. His girl is 7 years old, and the
boys are 4 years old and six months old. His
wife has no employable job skills. They are
members of your church. You are their deacon.
How do you minister to them?
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Case Study
Bill and Sally Jones have been members of your
church for twenty-two years. The Jones are in
their late sixties, and both are retired. Their
two children live in New York state. Sally is in
the hospital facing a triple bypass. Their
children cannot come down for the surgery. Bill
is in poor health and Sally has always cooked for
and dressed him. He is a natural worrier. You
are their deacon.
How do you minister to them?
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Case Study
Jack and Betty Morrison are recent citizens of
your community. They have moved here from
California. They have a 14 year old son. The
Morrisons bought the old One Hour Cleaners and
both plan to operate the new business. They had
no church home in California.
How do you minister to them?
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Case Study
Jim and Sue Bolds are members of your church.
They are in their forties. Jim owns a local
restaurant. They are not very active in church.
Their 15 year old son was recently killed in a
car wreck. You are their deacon.
How do you minister to them?
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Case Study
Larry and Jeannie Fergenson have been members of
the church for fifteen years. Larry works in a
local plant and Jeannie is the supervisor of a
local warehouse. They have two teenage
daughters in the youth department. The girls do
not like the youth director and complain to their
parents that church is dull and boring.
The Fergensons start talking to other parents
about how Frank (the youth director) is not
qualified or capable of being the youth director.
They start telling their friends, We need a new
youth director. You are their deacon.
How do you minister to them?
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Case Study
Dewey and Barbara McNabbs live in your
neighborhood. You know very little about them.
One morning their house burns to the ground.
How do you minister to them?
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Case Study
Mrs. Rose Calhoun is eighty-five years old. She
lives alone. She is unable to attend worship
services. Up until her illness she had been an
active member of the church. Her house is old
and always in need of repair. You are her deacon.
How do you minister to her?
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Case Study
Sara Jane Nichols is a single parent with a 7
year old son. Sara is a legal secretary. She
has visited the church but not joined. You are
her deacon.
How do you minister to them?
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Deacon Ordination Service
Resources
Mentor, Association Missionary, Deacons and Pastor
Time
Mid-Afternoon or During a Regularly Scheduled
Evening Service
Invitation
to Sister Churches, Association, Special Friends
and Family Members
Council Meeting
Organize Ask Questions Pray Review Order of
Service Share Testimonies
Service
Prelude Special Music Call to Worship
Charges Welcome to Church
Candidate Purpose Laying on of Hands Testimony
Presentations Questioning of
Certificate and Gift Vote Reception Hymn
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A Deacons Meeting
Chairman Well, some of our folks arent here
tonight. Preacher, wasnt the meeting in the
bulletin?
Preacher Yes, it was.
Chairman Well, what do we need to talk about
tonight?
Deacon 1 What about the church steeple? When
are we going to get it repaired?
Deacon 2 Does anybody know how much it would
cost?
Chairman We should have somebody check on that.
Deacon 1 Well, Ill try if I can get around to
it. I dont have much time these days.
Deacon 2 Yeah, you know I have the same problem.
I dont seem to have time to get nothin done.
I dont even have time to get my truck fixed.
Deacon 3 My truck needs fixin too. The
carburetor is all messed up. I guess Ill just
have to replace it.
Deacon 1 Have you ever tried to replace one of
those boogers? Its no easy job!
Chairman The item under discussion is the church
steeple. What do the rest of you think about
the steeple situation?
Deacon 4 I think...
Deacon 2 I dont think he meant you, Joey.
Youre a brand new deacon. What Id like to
know is this What are we going to recommend to
the church about the lawnmower situation?
Summer will be here before we know it.
Deacon 1 Yeah, why hasnt the Building Grounds
Committee reported to us about that yet?
Chairman Preacher, do you know the answer to
that?
Preacher Theyre working on it.
Deacon 2 I just think we ought to go ahead and
get one of those Snapper models. I got one at
home, and theyre hard to beat.
Deacon 3 Sears is also a good brand.
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Deacons Meeting Agenda
Call to Order (5 min)
Chairman
Scripture and Prayer
Minutes (5 min)
Secretary
Printed Handouts
Roll Sheet
Training (20 min)
Deacon Sam Jones
Deacons Helping Pastors in Hospital Visitation
from Deacon Magazine April 1989 issue
Deacon Family Ministry Reports (15 min)
All Deacons
Hear Reports
Assignments
Information Period (10 min)
Church Staff Church Council
(Information Only -- No Action)
Pastors Time (10 min)
Pastor
Prayer and Share Time (40 min)
All
Discuss Special Needs of Church Family
Prayer Time
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It Aint Over Til Its Over!