STICKS AND STONES A COMPREHENSIVE MODEL FOR BULLY PREVENTION

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STICKS AND STONESA COMPREHENSIVE MODEL FOR BULLY
PREVENTION

• Presented by Cheryl Curry Dean of Students
• Geneva High School, Geneva, Illinois
• [phone]

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WHAT IS BULLYING?

• A PERSON IS BEING BULLIED OR VICTIMIZED WHEN HE
  OR SHE IS EXPOSED, REPEATEDLY AND OVER TIME, TO
  NEGATIVE ACTIONS ON THE PART OF ONE OR MORE
  PERSONS.

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DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS OF BULLYING
BEHAVIOR

• IT IS A CHRONIC AND ONGOING PATTERN OF ABUSE
• IT CAN BE ONE-ON-ONE OR CARRIED OUT BY A GROUP
  (MOBBING)
• BULLYING IS ALWAYS DIRECTED BY A STRONGER STUDENT
  AGAINST A WEAKER ONE
• IT CAN BE OVERT OR COVERT

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HOW PREVALENT IS BULLYING?

• FROM RURAL MIDWESTERN RETROSPECTIVE STUDIES OF
  GRADES 4 THROUGH 8, 90 OF STUDENTS REPORT BEING
  BULLIED AT SOME TIME DURING THEIR SCHOOL YEARS.
• THE HIGHEST RATES AND MOST SEVERE TRAUMA WERE
  REPORTED IN GRADES FIVE THROUGH EIGHT.

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HIGHEST RANKED REASONS FOR BEING BULLIED

• MALES
• 1. Didnt fit in
• 2. Who friends were
• 3. Physical weakness
• 4. Short tempered
• 5. Clothing

• FEMALES
• 1. Didnt fit in
• 2. Who friends were
• 3. Clothing
• 4. Facial appearance
• 5. Overweight

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HOW IS BULLYING DIFFERENT FROM OTHER FORMS OF
AGGRESSION?

• The behavior of bullies is seldom severe enough
  to lead automatically to peer rejection or
  academic failure. In fact, bullies may be as
  popular as so-called well-adjusted students
• The self-esteem of bullies tends to fall within
  the normal range

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DIFFERENCES CONTINUED

• Bullying shares group management features with
  such inter-group pressures as sexism and racism
• It is socially acceptable to single out a member
  of their own racial, gender, or ethnic group who
  is too different
• Dehumanizing rituals and renaming rites are
  observed

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PASSIVE VICTIMS

• The most common type of victim
• Lack social skills cry easily
• Unable to use humor to defuse conflict
• Lonely, depressed, anxious, insecure
• Yield easily to bullying-cannot defend self

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PROVACATIVE VICTIMS

• A much smaller group often difficult to
  recognize as victims
• Restless children who irritate and tease others
  and dont know when to stop
• Fight back in bullying situations but end up
  losing (ineffectual aggressors)
• Easily emotionally aroused

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PROVACATIVE VICTIMS (continued)

• Tend to maintain the conflict and lose with
  frustration and distress
• May be diagnosed with Attention Deficit
  Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
• Tend to make you feel like they deserve it

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PUBLIC ATTITUDES THAT SUPPORT BULLYING

• ITS THE VICTIMS FAULT
• 60 of older students agreed that victims brought
  it on themselves.
• Among victims, 17 of male and 6 of female
  victims blamed themselves.
• Some think victims are staging a psychological
  ploy to justify their oppression.

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BULLYING TEACHES KIDS TO BE TOUGH

• It can be helpful.
• Its used to justify lessons in competitiveness.
• Roughly 60 of the combined samples agreed.

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BULLYING IS A GOOD LESSON FOR KIDS

• It teaches kids about behavior unacceptable to
  the group
• Nearly one half of the male students surveyed
  agreed
• Nearly one third of the female students agreed

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IF YOU HELP A VICTIM, YOULL BE UNPOPULAR

• Youll lose your social standing if you come to
  the aid of a child scapegoat.
• In some schools, 65 of students agreed. 50
  agreed overall.
• Bullies are more well-liked and have higher
  social standings than the ones they harass.

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ITS ONLY DONE IN FUN

• The boys will be boys and girls will be girls
  attitude.
• Its just the growing-up process everybody goes
  through it.
• Nearly two-thirds of the surveyed sample
  supported this statement.

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BULLYING IS SERIOUS

• Children being bullied need and deserve adult
  intervention and help
• The problem is too serious for them to solve
  alone
• Without intervention, the problem will not go
  away
• Bullies will keep bullying unless adults peers
  do something about it

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SO WHAT CAN WE DO?

• CHANGE THE CULTURE

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THREE CRITICAL PIECES
STUDENTS
FACULTY
FAMILY
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SOME IDEAS

• EMPATHY TRAINING
• CLASSROOM SMALL GROUP CURRICULUM
• DRAMA SKITS (e.g. Bullybusters)
• PARENT FACULTY WORKSHOPS
• A WAY TO DOCUMENT INCIDENTS
• IMMEDIATE INTERVENTIONS
• ANTI-BULLYING PLEDGES
• VISUAL REMINDERS EVERYWHERE

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SOME IDEAS FOR PARENTS

• Validate your childs need to belong.
• Help your child develop an overview and an
  objective view of cliques.
• Give your child standards to use in judging
  her/himself and others.
• Suggest ways to build self-esteem and good
  character by connecting with others.
• Evaluate your home situation objectively.

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PARENT IDEAS CONT.

• Listen without being judgmental.
• Listen when they talk about their friends.
• Talk to your childs teachers.
• Monitor the media diet. Teach tolerance.
• Avoid choosing your childs friends, but monitor.
  
• Assess social skills--help them conform.
• Watch for sudden signs of affluence.

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PARENT IDEAS CONT.

• Talk with your child about bullying your
  values. Use open-ended questions that go beyond
  just a yes or no answer.
• Network with parents. Alert the school. Avoid
  overprotection.
• Tell some of your own stories.
• Role play the dance with your child.
• Help your child find one supportive ally.
• Movies and books.
• Help your kids define bullying behavior.

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VICTIMSSIGNS TO LOOK FOR

• Symptoms of stress nail biting, bedwetting,
  trouble sleeping, nightmares, stuttering. Extreme
  emotions like sadness or anger.
• School avoidance--claiming stomachaches,
  headaches, exhaustion.
• Academic downhill slide.
• Severe drop in socializing.
• Sudden changes in routine that are unusual.

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VICTIMS CONT.

• Things mysteriously disappear and your child does
  not know why.
• Your child has bruises he/she makes light of.
• Preoccupation with appearance.
• Child talks about needing some form of
  protection.
• Child talks about moving, running away, or
  changing schools.

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GENEVA HIGH SCHOOL SAFE SCHOOLS PLEDGE

• TO MAKE THE SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT SAFE FOR CHILDREN
  PHYSICALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY BY
• Stopping the bullying behavior. There will be
  no-bullying rules enforced by school staff
  members.
• Students helping others by speaking out when
  someone is bullied and getting adult help.
• Students treating one another with respect and
  using extra effort to include everyone.