The RollerCoaster Years: Raising Your Child Through the Maddening Yet Magical Middle School Years

1
The Roller-Coaster Years Raising Your Child
Through the Maddening Yet Magical Middle School
Years
by Charlene C. Giannetti and Margaret Sagarese
2
Getting a View from the Ferris Wheel

• Imagine for a moment what life is like for
  children ages 10-15 today
• The biggest challenge in dealing with this age
  group is their roller-coaster emotions.
• (Middle School teacher from Washington)

3
Adolescents today

• Yearn for independence, yet are still being
• told what to do
• Eager to voice opinions but have trouble forming
  coherent arguments
• Worry about their appearance just when nature is
  wreaking havoc on their bodies
• Worry about their school work just when it
  increases in workload and responsibilities
• Maintain a hectic schedule with school, sports,
  and extracurricular activities, when their bodies
  need more sleep

4
Parents, Dont Be Fooled

• Do you feel your adolescent child
• Needs parents less than younger children?
• Needs to be left alone to become independent?
• Cares more about what their peers think than
  parents?
• Does not want you in their personal lives?

5
Young Adolescents need Parents More not Less

• Parents, when your child says, Leave me
  alone, take another look
• What your child may be trying to say is,
• I want more privacy than you are giving me
  now. But dont go too far. I might need you
  later.

6
Are You Spending Enough Time with Your Middler?

• According to a 1995 New York Times Poll
• 93 of 9-12 year olds consider being a part of a
  loving family more important than owning material
  things
• 88 credit family as their greatest source of
  self-esteem
• 72 wanted to talk more to their parents about
  schoolwork

7
Middlers are Funny

• My son or daughter fun?
• Are we talking about the same kid?
• Middlers are really three children
• The one who behaves as your child
• The one who shares with other adults things they
  wont share with you
• The one who hangs out with other kids

8
Suggestions for living with a developing Middler

• Leave them in charge
• Encourage their enthusiasm
• Assist them in finding ways to help others
• Feed their intellectual growth
• Build a bridge from home to school
• Ease the transition from childhood to adulthood
• Teach correct social behavior

9
Develop the Art of Adolescent Affection

• Find a moment each day to show your middle school
  child how much you love them.
• Write notes
• Leave voice mail
• Tell them when you see them
• Give hugs, especially after you have punished
  them

10
Am I Normal?

• When Middlers look in the mirror, they see
  distorted images
• Supersensitive about their bodies
• Increased weight 20-30 pounds-10 pounds a year
• All parts of the body dont grow at the same time
  or rate
• Feel as though they have been invaded by a body
  snatcher
• There is NO Normal!

11

• Help them manage worry
• 98 of worry is wasted
• 40 of worry time focuses on things that never
  happened
• 15 of fretting wasted on things that turn out
  better than they expected
• 35 lost on things that cant be changed
• 80 revolves around petty insignificant items

12

• Battle for Independence
• Issue is control-YOU have it THEY want it!
• Its not FAIR! Nobody listens to us!
• World is overrun with rules, regulations, and
  restrictions

13

• Incorporate the three Rs
• Reward, Recognize, and be Rational
• Reward good behavior
• Recognize which discipline efforts work most
  effectively
• Consistent-Punish each time
• Appropriate-Let the punishment fit the crime
• Results-Make it results oriented
• Each- They are individuals
• Swift- Dont put off the punishment until later
• Rational Time yourself out when you are losing
  it.

14

• As you encounter the battle campaigns of the
  Middlers, make sure you dont win the short term
  battles and lose the war by forfeiting their
  affections.
• It is not easy being a parent.

15

• What should I expect?
• A temporary lag in homework or disappointing
  grade here and there is to be expected during
  this time
• If you see dramatic changes in performance and it
  continues to slide then you may have a red flag
  indicating a problems

16

• Do you find your Middler to be Disorganized?
• Constantly forgets things
• Messy room
• Constantly loses things
• Underestimates the amount of time to complete a
  task
• Does homework but fails to turn it in
• Seems oblivious of time

17

• What can I do to help with Disorganization?
• Arrange a good place to work
• Use the Agenda
• Make lists
• Use visual and verbal reminders
• Use an oven timer
• Break up large tasks into smaller ones
• Back up written assignments if they are often
  lost
• Clean out the backpack weekly
• Set a good example
• Prepare the night before

18

• Master Middler-Speak
• Fine
• Nothing
• I dont know

19
Helping your Middler succeed in school

• A good parents involvement is always welcomed
  when it leads to a partnership among parent,
  child, and teacher.
• (Middle school teacher)

20

• Grades alone do not define a
• successful adolescent
• Brains grow at different rates
• Doing well in school may be eclipsed by
  popularity
• Discover the opposite sex
• Complicated times to grow up

21

• How can I help my Middler
• succeed in school?
• Stay informed
• Prepare your child for learning
• Maintain high expectations
• Nurture your learner
• Make learning a multimedia experience
• Keep criticism of teachers and school to a
  minimum

22

• Parents should be seen and not heard
• (at least in a Middlers presence)
• Cheerleader
• Chauffeur
• Chaperone
• Committee Member
• Resource
• Volunteer
• Club sponsor or assistant

23

• Stay informed and help keep us informed!
• School newsletter
• Electronic Weekly News
• PTA and SICA
• Agenda
• School Calendar
• E-mail and phone calls

24
Want a copy of this presentation?

• E-mail mcox_at_greenville.k12.sc.us for an
  electronic copy (PowerPoint)
• Call 292-7688 and request a hard copy if you do
  not have access at home be sure to include your
  childs name and homeroom teachers name