Ineffective Introductions

1
Ineffective Introductions

• ENGL 1101
• Fall 2005

2
The Dropped Quote

• Example
• The American flavor industry now has annual
  revenues of about 1.4 billion (Schlosser 129).
  In this essay . . .
• Why its ineffective
• Beginning your essay with a quote that you dont
  introduce can be confusing to your reader and may
  cause them to ask, Who said this? Why should I
  care?
• Instead
• In Eric Schlossers essay The American Flavor
  Industry, he estimates that the companies that
  design flavorings for processed foods in America
  now have annual revenues of about 1.4 billion
  (129). This flavor industry . . .

3
The Apologia

• Example
• I dont know much about the food industry, but I
  have to write this paper . . .
• Why its ineffective
• This severely reduces your credibility as a
  writer. From the beginning, you are calling into
  question your own authority to speak about the
  subject.
• Instead
• If you dont know much about your topic, learn
  something about it before you write. You can
  then establish your authority based on your
  knowledge.

4
The Sweeping Gesture

• Example
• In todays society . . . or In America today .
  . . or Throughout the ages . . .
• Why its ineffective
• This type of opening is too broad to introduce
  the topic about which you are writing. Also, the
  statements are often too general to contain much
  true meaning.
• Instead
• Avoid generalizations. Introduce your reader to
  your specific topic instead.

5
The Definition

• Example
• According to Websters dictionary, a calorie is
  . . . .
• Why its ineffective
• Frankly, its just boring. There are more
  effective ways to get your readers attention.
• Instead
• You may find that you need to clarify certain
  terms, but this should be done as these terms
  come up. Dont introduce a term through its
  dictionary definition instead use the term and
  then clarify its meaning.

6
The Response to the Prompt

• Example
• Two of the essays we read that are directed
  toward a specific audience are __ and ___. The
  implied audience for __ is ____ and the implied
  audience for __ is __. The extratextual
  information shapes the reading of the text by
  giving information about the author, the
  political climate, and the place of publication.
• Why its ineffective
• The prompts should give you guidance about how to
  shape your argument, but are not meant to serve
  as the outline of your paper.
• Instead
• Build an argument that can stand alone - you can
  answer the questions from the prompt without
  filling in the blanks. In other words, let the
  prompt inspire your own thoughts about the topic.
  

7
Focusing on the Process

• Example
• When I sat down to write this essay . . .
• Why its ineffective
• The paper should not focus on the process of
  writing, but on the assigned topic.
• Instead
• Focus on the topic and your ideas from the very
  beginning.

8
The Safari Introduction

• Example
• Shakespeare uses bird imagery in many of his
  plays. The safari paper then proceeds to point
  out all the birds in Shakespeare (as if you were
  on a safari).
• Why its ineffective
• The safari paper is great for identifying
  specific parts of a text or topic, but doesnt
  say anything about why these parts are
  significant or what they mean.
• Instead
• Explain the significance of your examples, and
  include a thesis that has both a topic and a
  comment.