Military Kids Whose Parents or Loved Ones Are Deployed . . .

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Military Kids Whose Parents or Loved Ones Are
Deployed . . .

• Discover their world has been turned upside down
• Look the same but become different
• Often lack connection to one another
• Find usual support systems are no longer adequate
• Are impacted by frequency/intensity of media
• Struggle with school performance and behavior
• Need lots of understanding and support

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Unique Issues for Kids in National Guard and
Reserve Families

• Become suddenly military kids
• Geographically dispersed
• Lack community awareness to support unique needs
• Experience separation anxiety and stress-related
  concerns regarding safety of deployed
  parent/loved one
• Experience deployed parents being absent for
  significant events
• May not be able to access or afford child care
  and school/community related activities
• Often have increased responsibilities at home
• May experience academic and behavior struggles at
  school

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The Emotional Cycle of Deployment

• Each stage is characterized by time frame and
  specific emotional challenges
• Failure to negotiate successfully can lead to
  strife
• Five distinct stages
• Stage One Pre-deployment
• Stage Two Deployment
• Stage Three Sustainment
• Stage Four Re-deployment
• Stage Five Post-deployment

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Stage One Pre-Deployment

• Shock, surprise particularly for National Guard
  and Reserve Soldiers, family members
• Anticipation of loss vs. denial that leaving
• Train up/preparation, long hours away
• Need to get affairs in order
• Mental/physical distance begins
• Increased stress, arguments
• Timeframe Variable

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Stage Two Deployment

• Mixed emotions grief and loss combined with
  relief
• Reality of adjustment begins
• Family numb, sad, lonely, feelings of
  abandonment
• Sleep difficulties
• Security/safety issues
• Frequent communication helps all
• Timeframe Approximately first month, potentially
  more

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Stage Three Sustainment

• New routines established
• New sources of support needed
• Separation anxiety
• Family member able to cope feel more in control
• Feelings of independence and confidence I can
  do this.
• Phone contact unidirectional initiated by
  spouse feeling trapped as may miss call
• Timeframe Approximately 2-18 months

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Stage 4 Re-Deployment

• Anticipation of homecoming begins dates/times
  not always predictable
• Excitement
• Apprehension will I have to give up my
  independence?
• Burst of energy nesting and preparing for
  Soldiers return
• Difficulty making decision
• Timeframe Variable

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Stage Five Post-Deployment

• Celebration and Soldier returns home
• Honeymoon period
• Renegotiating routines and reintegrating into
  family
• Important to get to know one other again -
  patient communication, going slow, and lower
  expectations are key
• Need for own space
• Loss of independence
• Timeframe 3-6 months or more after deployment

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Strengths for Youth Resulting from Deployment

• Fosters maturity and personal growth
• Encourages independence, flexibility and
  adaptability
• Builds skills for adjusting to separation loss
  faced later in life
• Strengthens family bonds
• Increases understanding of civics relationship
  with community, etc.
• Builds resilience
• What other strengths may result from deployment?

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General Patterns of Coping with Stress for
Children and Youth

• Denial
• Regression
• Withdrawal
• Impulsive Acting Out
• Anticipation
• Hyper vigilance
• Altruism
• Humor
• Other Examples?

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Signs of Stress Infant to 5 Years

• Behaviors
• Fussiness, uncharacteristic crying, neediness,
• Generalized fear
• Heightened arousal and confusion

• Reactions
• Helplessness and passivity
• Avoidance of trauma related reminders
• Exaggerated startle response
• Regression
• Somatic symptoms
• Sleep disturbances

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Signs of Stress Infant to 5 Years

• Communication
• Cognitive confusion
• Difficulty talking about event lack of
  verbalization
• Trouble identifying feelings
• Unable to understand event as permanent
• Anxieties about death

• Interactions
• Separation fears and clinging to caregivers
• Grief related to abandonment from caregiver

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Signs of Stress 6 - 11 Years

• Behaviors
• Spacey or distracted
• Changes in behavior, mood, personality
• Behavior regression
• Emotional/angry outbursts, behavior

• Reactions
• Reminders trigger disturbing feelings
• Responsible and guilty
• Safety concerns, pre-occupation with danger
• Anxiety and general fearfulness
• Somatic symptoms
• Sleep disturbances, nightmares

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Signs of Stress 6 - 11 Years

• Communication
• Confusion and inadequate understanding of events
• Magical explanations to fill in gaps of
  understanding
• Withdrawn and quiet

• Interactions
• Worry and concern for others
• Separation anxiety
• Repetitious traumatic play and retelling
• Loss of ability to concentrate
• School avoidance
• Loss of interest in activities

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Signs of Stress 12 - 18 Years

• Behaviors
• Self-conscious
• Depression
• Risk-taking behavior trauma-driven acting out
  sexual acting out or recklessness substance
  use/abuse
• Accident prone

• Reactions
• Efforts to distance from feelings
• Wish for revenge and action-oriented responses
• Life threatening re-enactment
• Decline in school performance
• Sleep and eating disturbances

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Signs of Stress 12 - 18 Years

• Communication
• Increased self-focusing
• Social withdrawal

• Interactions
• Flight into activity/involvement OR retreat from
  others in order to manage inner turmoil
• Rebellion at home and school
• Abrupt shifts in relationships

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Symptoms of Deployment Stress in the School
Setting

• Unable to resume normal class assignments/
  activities
• Continued high levels of emotional response (i.e.
  crying intense sadness)
• Difficulty concentrating in school
• Angry, violent or depressed feelings expressed
  verbally or through drawings and play

• Intentionally hurt self or others
• Gain or lose significant amount of weight in
  period of weeks
• Discontinue care of personal appearance
• Exhibit possible alcohol/drug use / abuse
• Frequent absences
• Experience decline in performance grades that
  doesnt improve over time

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Suggested Healthy Responses By Adults

• Educate self on the impact of deployment and
  stress on children/youth families
• Reflect what you see and hear in terms of
  behavior to help them with understanding
• Be patient, understanding, caring and firm with
  consequences for misbehavior
• Help children/youth identify, accept, and express
  what they are feeling
• Model constructive ways of dealing with strong
  and/or challenging emotions like stress, anger,
  grief, loss and sadness

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What Can I Do To Help? Guidelines for Teachers

• Reinforce ideas of safety and security maintain
  predictable class schedule/rules to provide
  support and consistency
• Listen to and tolerate students retelling as well
  as playing out events
• Encourage students to talk about confusing
  feelings, worries, daydreams and disruptions of
  concentration by listening carefully and
  reminding them these are normal reactions
• Expect emotional outbursts and intervene
  appropriately
• Do classroom activities that reinforce that one
  person can make a difference
• Anticipate brief, temporary declines in school
  performance

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Resources for Educators

• www.militarystudent.org Toolkits for School
  Leaders, Commanders and Parents
• www.militaryonesource.com Sesame Street DVD,
  Talk, Listen, Connect Helping Military Families
  Cope with Military Deployment
• www.jhsph.edu/mci Johns Hopkins University
  Military Child Initiative School Connectedness
  Improving Students Lives
• www.k12.wa.us/OperationMilitaryKids/default.aspx
  OSPI Tough Topics Series on Deployment, Stress,
  Grief and Loss Ready, Set, Go! Training Manual
• www.militarychild.org Military Child Education
  Coalition Legislators Guide Parents Guide to
  NCLB

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OSPIs Role in Supporting Washington State
Military Kids and Schools

• Increase educator awareness regarding the unique
  issues facing military kids and their families
  through resources sharing, development and
  training www.k12.wa.us/OperationMilitaryKids/defau
  lt.aspx
• Link schools with existing national, state and
  local programs/services currently available to
  support military kids and their families
• Actively participate in Operation Military Kids
  and other related national, state and local
  initiatives supporting military kids, families
  and schools

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Operation Military Kids (OMK)

• Designed to support geographically dispersed
  children and youth of National Guard and Reserve
  families impacted by the global war on terrorism
• National collaboration of U.S. Army Child and
  Youth Services, 4-H, Boys Girls Clubs of
  America, the Military Child Education Coalition,
  the American Legion and other school and
  community agencies serving youth
• WA OMK Mission Reaching out to military youth .
  . . before, during and after their loved ones are
  deployed.
• State Program Components
• Ready, Set Go! Awareness Training
• Speak Out for Military Kids
• Hero Packs
• Mobile Technology Lab

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Ready, Set, Go! (RSG!)Training Materials

• Developed to provide comprehensive training for
  local constituents on the unique issues facing
  military youth dealing with the deployment of a
  parent or loved one to
• Provide participants with practical hands-on
  information/tools to assist them in building
  capacity in local communities to support
  geographically isolated military kids
• Support participants with planning and
  implementation of outreach support services
• Available on OSPI website at www.k12.wa.us/Operat
  ionMilitaryKids/TrainingManuals.aspx

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RSG! Training Manual Contents

• Introduction to RSG!
• A New Reality Impact of Global War on Terrorism
• OMK Overview and Framework for Implementation
• Exploring Military Culture
• The Deployment Cycle Mobilization and Deployment
• The Deployment Cycle Homecoming and
  Reintegration

• Stress and Coping
• Impact of Grief, Loss and Trauma
• Fostering Resilience in Children and Youth
• Understanding the Influence of the Media
• Building Community Capacity to Take Action
• Additional Resources and Best Practices

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Other Washington State OMK Program Components

• Speak Out for Military Kids (SOMK)
• Hero Pack Initiative
• Mobile Technology Lab
• For more information on these OMK Program
  components please contact
• Kevin Wright, State 4-H Program Manager, WSU
  Extension [phone] or wrightkc_at_wsu.edu

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Additional Resources

• Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction,
  Mona M. Johnson, Program Supervisor, (360)
  725-6044, mona.johnson_at_k12.wa.us or
  http//www.k12.wa.us/OperationMilitaryKids/default
  .aspx
• National OMK website at www.operationmilitarykids.
  org
• Washington State Operation Military Kids
  Project Kevin Wright, 4-H State Program Manager,
  [phone], wrightkc_at_wsu.edu
• Army Air National Guard Family Program
  http//www.guardfamily.org and www.guardfamilyyout
  h.org
• Army Reserve Family Support http//www4.army.mil/
  USAR/families/index.php
• Military Child Education Coalition
  http//www.militarychild.org