Traversing America

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Traversing America

• By Gus Froese
• If you can read this Gus is the coolest person in
  the world and u have too much time on your hands

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

• Seattle
• Florida Everglades
• New York City
• Las Vegas
• Phoenix
• San Francisco
• Hoboken New Jersey
• Philadelphia
• Spokane

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Place 1(Seattle)

• I have flown into Seattle which cost me a minor
  130 for a one way trip (I flew on a DH8 owned
  and operated by Alaska airlines) I rented a car
  to drive to the space needle which cost me 37 ½
  cents per mile. Then 15 to go to the top of the
  Space needle and 3 for a disposable camera to
  take lots of photos of the city from way up high.
• For Breakfast I ate continental breakfast, for
  lunch I ate a sandwich for 6.75 for dinner I ate
  a Caesar Salad for 7.50 then an Apple Salsa
  Roast of Filet Mignon for 41.50. I stayed at the
  Red lion hotel for 166.95

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Place 2(Florida Everglades)

• I began to drive to the wonderfully swampy
  Florida everglades it was a 3345.63 mile trip it
  took me 48 hours, 46 minutes to get there this is
  just the drive time I stopped every 5 minutes
  because I got a little bit of food poisoning from
  the 6.75 sandwich (which I got in Seattle) I
  arrived at about 445 in the afternoon and
  checked in to the Captains table Hotel for 75.00
  a night I went down to the hotel Restaurant and
  ate a nice Seafood sampler for 15.65 it had some
  bits of crab, some popcorn shrimp, and some cod
  then I went to everglades museum to see all the
  things it had to offer.

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Place 3(New York City)

• I awoke and ate some continental breakfast then
  began to drive to New York City which is a 1092.0
  mile drive it took me several hours I stopped for
  lunch at Burger king and got a burger and fries
  and a shake for 5.50 but other then that and a
  few bathroom stops I made it fairly quickly
  without to many stops. I arrived in New York and
  checked in to the Sofitel Hotel for a measly 460
  a night I decided to go out and eat a really big
  meal at the Acqua Pazza I enjoyed a nice big
  salad and five slices of pizza and endless
  breadsticks and soda for 32.67 then I decided to
  go to take a tour of Liberty island to see the
  statue of liberty but I stopped and looked at a
  time share so I got to go to liberty island for
  free but had to be bored for five hours first. I
  saw a hobo village on my way to Liberty Island it
  was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. It
  was just like in the movies with the empty barrel
  for burning things and some dumpsters and a whole
  lot of greasy slimy hobos begging for money. It
  was almost the perfect society except they had no
  money but everything they had was shared equally
  and there was no fighting or squabbling (when I
  say everything I mean everything even underwear).
  It was like a glimpse into the past to see there
  primitive culture and life styles.

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Place 4(Las Vegas)

• I drove down to las Vegas with only 12 stops
  because I paid a bum to drive me around as my
  chauffer so I could sleep in the car and I didnt
  need to spend to much time eating because I ate a
  very big meal in new York and was able to sustain
  myself for a day and a half off of that meal
  alone. My chauffer Dunsten Ulrich Milton
  billingsley the xxiv (more commonly known as
  d.u.m.b) offered to drive me anywhere for 1
  million dollars if I paid for his food so I said
  oky doky. Me and D.U.M.B drove into Vegas and
  looked at all of the pretty lights and signs we
  decided we would stay at the bellagio hotel and
  casino for only a measly pathetic 600.00 I got a
  big penthouse suite because why not treat myself
  to nice things once in awhile. I told d.u.m.b to
  wait and sleep in the car and he willingly obeyed
  because I got him a cell phone so I could call
  him anytime I wanted to make him bring the car
  around or drive me somewhere. In case d.u.m.b
  tried to steal my car or something I planted a
  G.P.S tracking device into the back of his skull
  when he passed out for the night so I could keep
  track of him at any given moment. We went to the
  hotel restaurant to eat dinner I enjoyed a
  porterhouse steak with sautéed Jerusalem
  artichokes for 45 dollars it was quite
  delicious. I gave d.u.m.b 7 to go to the candy
  machine to buy what ever he wanted he was
  overjoyed to be able to pick his feast he later
  returned with 2 snickers bars some corn nuts and
  a diet Pepsi which he ravenously ate and was
  perfectly content with. We said good night and I
  went to go play the slot machines which I played
  and lost about 17,542,346,739.34 dollars of bill
  gates money but I won a free soda and chocolate
  chip cookie at the snack bar so it wasnt a total
  loss after all. I went to my room to sleep off
  the cookie and lemonade/Hawaiian punch which I
  got with my coupon.

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Place 5(Phoenix)

• I traveled 290 miles from Las Vegas to phoenix so
  I could see the historic cactuses and Acacia Park
  the cactuses were huge and full of juicy juice. I
  took d.u.m.b. to a fancy place for lunch we
  stopped at McDonalds and he got a kids meal and I
  had a big Mac this cost about 7 we ate our meal
  in the pleasant acacia park and watched all of
  the people frolicking and playing we saw a shady
  looking gentleman who resembled Michael Jackson
  watching all of the little children play. We
  decided to stay at the Royal Mesa Inn for 52.00
  a night.

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Place 6(San Francisco)

• we awoke and journeyed to a local restaurant
  entitled Guedos Taco shop and ate two burritos
  the size of my forearm (that is pretty huge I
  mean look at these massive guns I am packing
  around that is impressive that they could find
  enough meat in the world to fill something that
  big I am really impressed.) Then continued on
  our holy quest to San Francisco which is
  approximately 653 miles from phoenix we checked
  into the San Franciscan hotel for 70.00 we drove
  across the golden gate bridge and saw a Broadway
  play for 216.00 for the two of us we saw avenue
  q the musical then we went to sleep and dreamed
  dreams of wonderful enjoyment and being crushed
  by a ten ton fat guy on the subway.

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Place 7(Hoboken)

• we woke up and ate some continental breakfast and
  started our journey to Hoboken New Jersey we
  enjoyed the nightlife a little bit then checked
  into the Park Avenue hotel for 60 and went to
  explore the scenic sites we stopped in to
  Lepore's Homemade Chocolates and got some
  delicious chocolates for about 5 then we went
  out to dinner at 3 forty grill we had Chilled 1¼
  lb whole Maine Lobster for 29.00 each then we
  enjoyed the chocolates (from Lepore's Homemade
  Chocolates) we hit the hey at around 930 so we
  could watch our favorite soap operas and eat
  chocolate in the hotel room in our jammys (this
  is a total manly thing to do)

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Place 8(Philadelphia)

• we awoke bright and early at the crack of noon to
  began our perilous journey to Philadelphia to get
  a delicious savory Philly cheese steak sandwich
  it was 81 miles away so it only took us about 3
  hours we checked into the lovely Microtel Inn
  Suites then we searched the city until about
  noonish to find the perfect authentic Philly
  cheese steak sandwich we found one at Genos
  steaks for 15.75 each then we decided to go eat
  something fancy at Bistro 7 we ate grilled lemon
  chicken for 27.64 each they were tastier then a
  muggins but not as good as a pcss(Philly cheese
  steak sandwich) we ate some breakfast at the
  hotel then left to go to Spokane

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Place 9(Spokane)

• we arrived at Spokane which was 2145 miles away
  and checked into the lovely west Wynn motel for
  45 then we decided to go to laser quest for an
  hour which cost us 26 but it was funner then
  shootin pickled rabbits feet in a barrel on a
  cold summer evenin with a banana and mustard
  sandwich. We decided to call it a night and went
  back to our hotel we got hungry around 730 so we
  went out to eat at Riverview Thai and had Tod
  Kratiem Prig Thai Nuah which was Tender slices of
  beef sautéed in a soy sauce seasoning, flavored
  with garlic, black pepper and garnished with
  cucumbers, tomatoes, and cilantro. With a side of
  steamed, fresh garden vegetables. This cost us
  24.50 it was 12.25 each but we paid for one
  check it was delicious. We went back to our hotel
  and cashed in our chips we had a nice sleep.

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The Return to Dayton

• we awoke and drove back to Dayton it was only 96
  miles and it took about three hours we parked at
  my house and I paid D.U.M.B and then released him
  into the wild. It was the funnest trip I ever
  went on except every other trip I ever went on in
  my whole life (in case you didnt notice the trip
  was super lame).

These are the only things in Dayton P.S if your
Reading this you have too much free time on your
hands and you should consider a more constructive
hobby then reading tiny small print for fun
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(No Transcript)
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The End

• Well that is the final place thanks for viewing
  my presentation